Hi Max,
I to had this thought when I was younger, started when I was 10 (like you know what that is when you are 10). It just popped into my head one night and gave me a panic attack and my mom had to calm me down. I also had it a few times after that. I am 38 now married and have a son, since my son was a newborn I worried he might be gay. How logical is that, he is 6 now and I worry about it still. That is until recently. Hearing from this website that other people had the same issue it helped me realize that it is truly my OCD. If I saw my son do something that looked like something a girl would do it freaked me out. I know it's just a thought and that's all it is. Remember, the thought comes first then the feeling (panic). If I had the thought what if my son is gay, I changed it to what if my son grows up and goes off with the circus. It's the samething, a what if thought, it's just a thought that does not scare me. So if you think what if I am gay, say what if I run off and join the circus. It sounds stupid, but it helps. Another thing, you said you feel like you have to turn around and look back. This is a part of OCD - It's double checking. I do the the samething with doors, lights, that kind of thing. It's an impulse to turn around, you have anxiety if you don't. Just feel the anxiety and don't allow yourself to turn around.
Hope this helps. I know what you are going through. Thinking you are gay is a big concern for people with OCD, my therapist told me that.
HOCD is ruining my whole life. I need urgent help.
Hi Max,
You are not alone in your fears. I remember when I was younger going through the exact same type of fear that you had. Oh crap I just looked at that guys butt, does that mean I am gay and then the fear rushes in and consumes you. You will come out of it trust me. It may seem hard right now to think that you will make it out but you will. Just keep replacing your negative thoughts and definitely allow the thoughts to come in and pass do not run away from them it just makes them stronger. Also remember you are not alone alot of us are going through this and we are all together in this. God will get you through this and so will the program.
hope this helped
You are not alone in your fears. I remember when I was younger going through the exact same type of fear that you had. Oh crap I just looked at that guys butt, does that mean I am gay and then the fear rushes in and consumes you. You will come out of it trust me. It may seem hard right now to think that you will make it out but you will. Just keep replacing your negative thoughts and definitely allow the thoughts to come in and pass do not run away from them it just makes them stronger. Also remember you are not alone alot of us are going through this and we are all together in this. God will get you through this and so will the program.
hope this helped
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Guest
oKAY, SO DO i HAVE OCD OR WHAT?/ i FISRT STARTED LAST YEAR WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS OF HURTING MY TODDLER SON- WHO MY WORLD REVOLVES AROUND. THEN MOVED ONTO WHAT IF I HURT MYSELF?? WHAT IF I WENT CRAZY AND TRUNED INTO A DRUG ADDICT ( AFTER WATCHING INTERVENTION ON T.V), I'VE RUN THE GAMMET OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. AFTER READING ABOUT THIS HOCD-WHICH IS NEW TO ME NOW IM WORRTED ABOUT BEIGN GAY! I KNOW IM NOT- HAPPILY MARRIED, HAVE ALWAYS ADORED MEN-DATED PLENTY BEFORE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVE NEVER HAD EVEN A SLIGHT URGE TO BE WITH A WOMAN- AND HAVE EVEN BEEN HIT ON, BUT JUST NOT MY THING. BUT HERE I GO AGAIN WITH A NEW "WORRY"- I SHOULD KNOW BY NOW WHAT IT IS BUT IT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY EASIER. IM FEELING FRUSTRATED AND IRRITATED WITH MYSELF. ANY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT WOULD BE APPRECIATED...
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mikeysmama
After reading your quote I laughed out loud. By no means was I laughing at you but I was laughing because I truly thought I could have written your post myself. I have experienced every one of your symptoms and obsessions. I really relate to everything that you said. I have been going to a therapist for about 6 months because in the beginning I thought I was going crazy. She really gave me some relief just telling me that I was totally normal. In fact she said everyone experiencing intrusive thoughts but just brush them off. We on the other hand don’t we obsess over them. I really try to self talk when all these thoughts come in. Reassuring me of facts not fears. The one that bothered me the most were about my 15 month old or it being another mental disorder.
My therapist told me that no one in history has ever acted out a thought because of OCD or has ever developed another mental disorder because of it. It will always be OCD and anxiety. I am really sorry for what you have gone through because I know how it feels and it can be so stressful and scary at times. But hold comfort in knowing it is just anxiety. There is a big difference when someone is scared of a thought or when someone is intrigued by it and doesn’t realize it is wrong. Good Luck and I know you can get better!!
After reading your quote I laughed out loud. By no means was I laughing at you but I was laughing because I truly thought I could have written your post myself. I have experienced every one of your symptoms and obsessions. I really relate to everything that you said. I have been going to a therapist for about 6 months because in the beginning I thought I was going crazy. She really gave me some relief just telling me that I was totally normal. In fact she said everyone experiencing intrusive thoughts but just brush them off. We on the other hand don’t we obsess over them. I really try to self talk when all these thoughts come in. Reassuring me of facts not fears. The one that bothered me the most were about my 15 month old or it being another mental disorder.
My therapist told me that no one in history has ever acted out a thought because of OCD or has ever developed another mental disorder because of it. It will always be OCD and anxiety. I am really sorry for what you have gone through because I know how it feels and it can be so stressful and scary at times. But hold comfort in knowing it is just anxiety. There is a big difference when someone is scared of a thought or when someone is intrigued by it and doesn’t realize it is wrong. Good Luck and I know you can get better!!
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Guest
Oh and yes I have been diagnosed OCD. I do not take medicine for it as the doctor I went to see did not see it necessary and believes these things can be taken care of with therapy and cognitive therapy. It was a personal choice not to take meds. I want to get to the root of the issues and it also turns out that I am scared of taking meds due to the side effects. So I really think meds would make it worse for me. But that is really a personal choice for me.
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Guest
Naustin, Thanks for your reply. I have also been to an awesome therapist who told me I could sue him if I ever did anything of the things that I was afraid of. I do know its anxiety but when a "new worry" or thought comes in i tend to forget all the strategies and facts that Ive learned. It certainly helps to know I am not alone in this. i know it is 100% anxiety.I am not taking meds either and am not planning on it. I manage in my own lil ways- this being one of them. thanks again...
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sew16
I am not a doctor but I do have OCD and yes I think you do without a doubt have OCD. You said it yourself that you knew deep down you were straight. You know in your heart the truth. It is just a fear. Also your other fears and obsessions are VERY common with OCD. As scary as they are they are truly nothing to fear. The difference between OCD and an actual mental illness is that you fear all the things. You are not intrigued by them. They scare you. Please understand though that this is much more common than you think and that it is a proven fact that NO ONE has ever acted out an OCD thought. All they are is thoughts. Everyone gets them and I mean everyone. We just take the thoughts to seriously. I am sorry your therapist would say that she must not know too much about OCD in my opinion. I have been to a therapist for 6 months who has reassured me over and over than there is nothing wrong with me and all these are is thoughts. Nothing more. Good Luck and if you need anything else or advice. Feel free to ask.
I am not a doctor but I do have OCD and yes I think you do without a doubt have OCD. You said it yourself that you knew deep down you were straight. You know in your heart the truth. It is just a fear. Also your other fears and obsessions are VERY common with OCD. As scary as they are they are truly nothing to fear. The difference between OCD and an actual mental illness is that you fear all the things. You are not intrigued by them. They scare you. Please understand though that this is much more common than you think and that it is a proven fact that NO ONE has ever acted out an OCD thought. All they are is thoughts. Everyone gets them and I mean everyone. We just take the thoughts to seriously. I am sorry your therapist would say that she must not know too much about OCD in my opinion. I have been to a therapist for 6 months who has reassured me over and over than there is nothing wrong with me and all these are is thoughts. Nothing more. Good Luck and if you need anything else or advice. Feel free to ask.
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Sew16,
I am a guy who many years ago considered pursuing a gay life style. i chose to seek God. i married a wonderful woman now deceased. you are at a point in your life where you get to make a choice. gay or straight. you do not have to anguish over that choice, just make it. i hope you choose, straight, it will leave you happier in the long run. i have watched my sister-in-law as she has dealt with the choice of the gay life style. she has been dealing with guilt, self doubt, self recrimination and depression. i am dealing with depression, but my wife died in an auto accident where i was driving, less than two years ago. many of the world want to push the gay agenda, or be politically correct. i have known many gay people. none lived a happy (gay) life. all were sad and/or depressed, most are dead from aids. just see another girls butt and not looking away does not make you gay. i have seen many naked men and am not gay. you are confused which is not uncommon at your age. that confusion leads many to do things that they later regret. you say you pray often, so you know God. turn to Him. i ran around with many gay guys when i was in high school and college, that is what made m consider the life style. i was out of college before i started dating. those things added to my confusion too. so, NO YOU ARE NOT GAY!!!! just keep looking to God, and you will be ok.
I am a guy who many years ago considered pursuing a gay life style. i chose to seek God. i married a wonderful woman now deceased. you are at a point in your life where you get to make a choice. gay or straight. you do not have to anguish over that choice, just make it. i hope you choose, straight, it will leave you happier in the long run. i have watched my sister-in-law as she has dealt with the choice of the gay life style. she has been dealing with guilt, self doubt, self recrimination and depression. i am dealing with depression, but my wife died in an auto accident where i was driving, less than two years ago. many of the world want to push the gay agenda, or be politically correct. i have known many gay people. none lived a happy (gay) life. all were sad and/or depressed, most are dead from aids. just see another girls butt and not looking away does not make you gay. i have seen many naked men and am not gay. you are confused which is not uncommon at your age. that confusion leads many to do things that they later regret. you say you pray often, so you know God. turn to Him. i ran around with many gay guys when i was in high school and college, that is what made m consider the life style. i was out of college before i started dating. those things added to my confusion too. so, NO YOU ARE NOT GAY!!!! just keep looking to God, and you will be ok.
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Guest
sew16, go to this web sight: <A HREF="http://www.stresscenter.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.stresscenter.com</A>
it will let you see lucinda's course. it teaches one how to overcome anxious behavior. it may give you the relief you are looking for. it is not an over night fix, the course takes 15 weeks to complete. check it out. keep looking up, God is there.
it will let you see lucinda's course. it teaches one how to overcome anxious behavior. it may give you the relief you are looking for. it is not an over night fix, the course takes 15 weeks to complete. check it out. keep looking up, God is there.