"What if" help!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:09 am

800 Classic,

I am also worried that my husband will get tired of my "what if" thinking. In my mind it is a weakness of character, an insecurity, and I am afraid it will drive him away - or worse, drive him to the arms of another woman. This fear is with me every day, all day, and I know that worrying about it so much could actually make it happen. The knowledge that I could be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy... wow. Making the thing happen that I fear the most, just by worrying about it. How's that for thinking yourself into a corner?!?!?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:53 am

What IF you change your negative into POSITIVES!
Like, What if your spouse of boyfriend understands you are going through a tough time right now.
What if you are wrong, and He really Loves you and it wont drive him away?

What if you start putting more positives in your head and telling those OLD negative to HIT THE ROAD?

What if today you have a Good Day!
What if you tell you husband or spouse how much you appreciate thier support and you are working very hard to overcome the negatives?
Think about it,,, it takes time, and real effort to live positive but you can do it!!!!
There is really no answers to "What If" guestions cause most of the ones we ask, havent and wont happen:)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:49 am

Someone on this site had recommended a site that they found helpful regarding obsessive thoughts. I looked at it and am pasting the following response to "what ifs" that was listed on that site. Hope this helps someone!

"Well, that thought/fear is a possibility, but it is very remote and I am not going to worry about that right now. Today I am trusting that all is well."

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:17 pm

would you like to share what site that is kayj?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:19 pm

Poky,Yuo could change the whitifs theses whatifs;whatif I leave him?
.. .. .I lose interest im him?
.. .. .I meet someone I like better than him?......I set him up,to see what he will do? so I won't have to whatif about it anymore

........Malikye

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:27 pm

Malikye, I'm not trying to be argumenative, but what would that accomplish? Aren't those more negative thoughts?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:39 pm

They are,but you wouldn't have the low self-esteem with it.If you do that,it will raise your confidence in yourself.Only then you will you stop caring so much about it..........Malikye

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:29 am

Sorry, but I can't find the thread where that site was referred to (I think it was in the Scary/Obsessive thoughts forum). I wrote the quote down when I read it because I don't have a printer...without writing down the website. Sorry!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 16, 2007 1:23 am

I am having a REALLY hard time with that exact "what-if" lately. What-if my boyfriend doesn't ask me to marry him (even though we talke about it), what-if he is cheating(even though I don't know when he would have time). I am feeling paranoid and obsessive! How do you deal? I feel like going through his phone and doing all sorts of crazy things. (I guess at least I don't think I have cancer this week

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:09 am

I can totally relate to the phone, thing, too. But my advice is do not do it! I have noticed that if I act on my compulsion to check things, I feel EXTREMELY guilty. In my experience, the guilt feels much worse than the anxiety of not looking/checking things. Also, if I don't engage in the compulsion it does eventually go away. (Unfortunately, it's usually quickly replaced by another obsessive thought but I've had a good couple of days). By the way, I'm chuckling at your comment about not feeling like you have cancer this week--can TOTALLY relate to that one, too. OCD is so strange, but I do find it comforting that most of us on this site exhibit very similar characteristics.