Hi there, I too suffer from terrible guilt about the past, obsessional thoughts, OCD, depression and anxiety. I recently found a web site, "Ask the Psychologist" and was provided with some interesting information from a question I asked about my situation (which sounds similiar to yours).
"Depression is thought to be caused by low levels of the neurotransmitter Serotonin. Low Serotonin is also linked to obsessive-compulsive behavior. Depression also has a symptom of searching our memory background to find out worst experiences, then bringing those memories to the surface to torment us (birds in your case). To add to the situation, the brain works on Emotional Memory - the memory mechanism that memorizes both the details AND the feeling at the time of the traumatic experience (see article on Emotional Memory on <A HREF="http://www.drjoecarver.com" TARGET=_blank>www.drjoecarver.com</A> ). I really found this article informative, although I'm still searching for a cure! I'll let you know if I find one.
Lucie
Guilt and fear
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Guest
There you go, with depression the brain behaves as a tormentor, not a comforter a lot of the time. This is distorted thinking, out of touch with reality. To automatically BELIEVE what is brought to mind (worst case scenario meant to torment = A LIE) is the worst thing you can do because you are believing a lie. The cure is to challenge these thoughts and not accept them as VALID. Journal these thoughts, then later, when you are in a better frame of mind, come back to them and address them. Seek replacement thoughts that are more in line with the truth. Again, what Tallboy stated is the cure. It is a choice, a conscious decision made over and over again, to forgive yourself for your past and let go of it. If the same thing comes up again and again, you forgive and let go again and again until you begin to believe what you are thinking.Depression is thought to be caused by low levels of the neurotransmitter Serotonin. Low Serotonin is also linked to obsessive-compulsive behavior. Depression also has a symptom of searching our memory background to find out worst experiences, then bringing those memories to the surface to torment us (birds in your case). To add to the situation, the brain works on Emotional Memory - the memory mechanism that memorizes both the details AND the feeling at the time of the traumatic experience (see article on Emotional Memory on <A HREF="http://www.drjoecarver.com" TARGET=_blank>www.drjoecarver.com</A> ). I really found this article informative, although I'm still searching for a cure! I'll let you know if I find one.
Self esteem is also needed for this. Once you begin to accept yourself and love yourself and stop attacking yourself (this is a conscious decision) the level of neurotransmitters in your brain will balance and you'll feel better. (Stress brought on by our thinking depletes the neurotransmitters) Our thinking can literally make us emotionally sick or heal us. Decide to put up the stop sign when you are attacked and become self aware that this is just something that happens to us (brain attacking us) when we are in depression and we need to simply ignore it because it is based on the brain not functioning properly, i.e. depression.
Believe what the program is telling you because it is the truth. As you work the program the skills will get easier.
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Guest
Onix,
This thought will probably come back to haunt you again - as that is how obsessive thoughts work. Something will set it off. It's OK. Thought stoppage as Don has suggested is one of the best ways to stop the cycle. It won't heal obsessive thinking but it does give you a break from it so that you can wake up to using your calm breath and then to shift your attention onto something outside of your mind. We need a break from time to time from the cycle of thought. In that break you can determine your next mode of action.
Practice allowing the thoughts to be there without you doing anything. No attachment. No resistance. Just a quiet welcoming. When you no longer resist these thoughts and simply allow them their passage, you will hear less and less from them - and when they do come you will be able to dismiss them easily. This takes practice so practice allowing daily so that it becomes a new habit for you.
This thought will probably come back to haunt you again - as that is how obsessive thoughts work. Something will set it off. It's OK. Thought stoppage as Don has suggested is one of the best ways to stop the cycle. It won't heal obsessive thinking but it does give you a break from it so that you can wake up to using your calm breath and then to shift your attention onto something outside of your mind. We need a break from time to time from the cycle of thought. In that break you can determine your next mode of action.
Practice allowing the thoughts to be there without you doing anything. No attachment. No resistance. Just a quiet welcoming. When you no longer resist these thoughts and simply allow them their passage, you will hear less and less from them - and when they do come you will be able to dismiss them easily. This takes practice so practice allowing daily so that it becomes a new habit for you.