Hi guys, I have been dealing with OCD for about two years now and have been feeling great ever since I learned how to cope with those thoughts that just come out of nowhere. Now I am back dealing with GAD over health issues, but these experiences you guys speak of are very familar!
catrish, what you describe is basically called an "intrusive thought." Some people refer to this as a "spike" as well. Meaning, the thought just comes out of nowhere and knocks the wind out of us! Mine often occured when I would be going along just fine, then BAM! A scary obsession would hit me out of nowhere.
This is quoted from an OCD therapist's website. (By the way this same therapist also counseled me on my OCD obsessions):
The "Pure-O" is manifested by a two part process: the originating unwanted thought (spike) and the mental activity which attempts to escape, solve, or undo the spike, called rumination.
For the "Pure-O" sufferer, a tremendous amount of anxiety accompanies the spike, and the mental ritual is an attempt to shut off the anxiety, either by attempting to solve the question or avoid having the thought recur. It is during the rumination phase that the person's mind becomes extremely preoccupied and distracted. Spending eight hours a day with one's thoughts wrapped up with this endless mental escape is not unusual. The emotional pull to undue the thought is tremendous.
The theory behind scary, obsessive thoughts is that the fear-center of our brain is misfiring. It's basically giving us false warnings, false signals, trying to tell us that something is important - we're in danger - when we're really not.
So let's look at your pedophile fear. In fact, let's just take Harm OCD in general (obsessions about harming someone, whether through becoming a serial killer or murdering your child or whatever). My guess is one night you read a story in the newspaper or saw some special on TV about pedophiles. Somewhere you heard about a story of a pedophile and to YOU, that is one of the worst things that could ever happen to you. The WORST thing in the world would be becoming a pedophile. (By the way, pedophelia obsessions are actually common amongst OCD sufferers. You are not alone!)
So you started asking yourself questions, like, could I be able to do that? What if I could? Then you avoid being around children. Just hearing about kids makes you anxious. Your FEAR CENTER of your brain has associated children/stories about kids as warnings - it's trying to give you a false warning that oh no, if you are around children, you will become a pedophile. Same goes for Harm OCD sufferers. If you are around knives, suddenly you will go crazy and stab your family!
False warnings. But to us, they seem and feel very real. I don't know if you guys know this but another common obsession is the fear of becoming homosexual. It seems silly but to that OCD person, becoming gay is the WORST thing that could ever happen. So they avoid TV shows, songs, people, etc. that set off these false warning signals firing from our fear center of our brain.
The important thing to take away from this is that your brain is basically saying "HEY! Listen to me! This intrusive thought is important! I'm warning you! I'm sending you this gigantic warning!" To your brain, it is the singlemost important thought it has.
Soooo what has drastically helped me is something similar to what they teach in the program. I aim to make the thought un-important. When I get an intrusive thought, my first reaction used to be to start dissecting it, testing how I feel, testing what I think I might do in certain scenarios. Why did I think that, am I really this way, etc. etc. Instead of that, I now say to myself "thanks for the warning brain, but I am just not interested in hearing you right now." Then I have to make a BIG effort to distract myself. The goal being that the brain eventually gets the message that these thoughts are not really important anymore.
So let's take your pedophile example:
You get the thought "what if I am a pedophile?"
You start to feel anxious. Instead of going down the road of dissecting the thought, say back to your brain "thanks, but I'm just not interested in hearing what you have to say right now."
Then you have a to make a big effor to distract yourself. Focus on something. And by focus, I mean do what it takes, like saying to yourself "hmm that guy is wearing red. I like red. That lady has a nice haircut, maybe I should get a haircut like that," and so on. It takes a lot of practice but the more you do it, the easier it will get.
So let's say you run into one of your triggers - like a child. You have the scary thought - and you say, that's great, but I think I'll go read a book now. You have to be FIRM with yourself. I know how easy it is to give in and ruminate. You want to problem-solve, to reassure yourself you're not turning into a pedophile or a serial killer. You are searching for an "answer" that will give you ultimate relief. But for the OCD mind, it will always work around it and create even more doubt.
The more you can make the thought less important, the less it will bother you. I'm trying to apply this to my health fears (a new worry for me!) and see if it works. It has diminshed my fears in the past (schizo, relationship obsessions) and I am confident it will work now.