Question to OCD-sufferers:what kind of thoughts do you have?

Layha Rae · Post by **Layha Rae** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 7:19 am

Hi Dav,
I can totally relate to your insecurity considering the faith. I´m also a Christian. When I´m under emotional stress, like I was during the last months (and I am still: divorce, problems at work, financial problems), I often think what if I go mad, hurt my child or my pets, say stupid things in a meeting embarass myself or others,..... the whole "program".
Recently I bought the book "The imp of the mind" that has been recommended here several times. (I could get it in German)
I want to tell you that I have come to the conclusion: if I´m saved in Christ, gave my life to Him, if I want to follow Him and be a good person, lead a spirit filled life, why should I be afraid that those things will happen to me? I mean, why should God let that happen? Me, going nuts out of the blue, when I believe that he has a purpose for my life?
You know, since my daughter was little, I used to pray with her every night, and I use to say a blessing and then aks God to cover us with his blood,(don´t know how to say that better in English, hope you understand). Shouldn´t that be enough?
As a Christian I also believe that there is an enemy who wants to tear me away from Christ, who wants me to feel like crap so badly that I don´t dare to come to God, right?
And another helpful thought: when I´m busy and destracted, normally I don´t have weird thoughts, at least not 24 hours day. So why should I lose my sanity all of a sudden, right in that moment, just because I THINK of it? Thinking isn´t magic, if it were, then people must drop dead just because I think of it, or wish they did... oh, if my thoughts really had that power, my co-worker would already have ended up on the cemetery....

I know that it isn´t funny when we have these thoughts, but sometimes it´s good to see some humor in it.... God bless you all!

Susanne

sandy krahn · Post by **sandy krahn** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:39 am

My anxiety and depression has come during 3 episodes lasting about 2 months a piece. During those times(one of which I am still in) I obsess about things I've done in the past. Some things are from 20 years ago. Yes they were temporary lapses in judgement but certainly not earth shattering. However they do carry a large degree of guilt. I've had no problem living with these mistakes until my 1st episode with depression last year. Now i can't shake them. I feel like the obsessive thinking feeds the anxiety and the cycle never ends.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:08 am

Isn't it great that the past is the past, and we do not have to live under it anymore. You have to realize that EVERYONE has things in their pasts that they are horrified to think about. The thing is you are setting yourself up to have issues if you allow the past to affect the present like that. Today has enough worries of its own without help from the past. I have done this alot throughout my life and now realize that it was just another way to make myself miserable. You have to live in the present, enjoy today!!

Chrystal

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:40 am

My scary obssesive thoughts are usually directed back inward to myself, which triggers the paranoia brought on by my OCD. I used to love watching those Forensic Files Court TV shows, but I had to stop because after the OCD kicked in with a vengeance, I obsessed on someone doing those things to me. I stopped watching the news for the same reasons. I am an abuse survivor, which I think speaks volumes as to why it gets directed inward rather than scary thoughts externally. I have had scary thoughts about hurting my animals though, nto through my own physical hurting them, but by giving them food that I couldnt trust wasn't tampered with. I was physically sick for a week when I had to buy dog food for my puppy, and it was the last bag on the shelf. That is a big no no in my OCD mind, for why is it the only one? Is there something wrong with it? I had to get her food, so I fed it to her, and then threw up all night in sick anticipation of her dying from poisoned food. After a week, it abated when she has been just fine and as perky as ever.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:47 am

My obsession is that If I don't complete the Idea in my mind It will stuck there forever, and one day it stucked on an Idea of hurting people, and im saying now that I will not feel better untill I do so, which scares the hell out of me

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:57 am

I had this same thought the other day and I talked to my Psychologist about it and she said that I just have to realize that it is just an "OCD" thought and it doesn't mean anything. It is just a thought. You just have to lock it in the OCD box and let it go. I make it sound so easy and trust me I know it isn't that simple.

BookOfPsalms · Post by **BookOfPsalms** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:07 am

Hello, I just started on the program. I obsess about suicide and its been really hard on me. I think since its such an ugly fear of mine, the thought becomes overwhelming at times. I know that you cant make a thought go away but it makes for me to have a lousy morning and then the thought is more intense. I haven't been sleeping that well either, which doesn't help. Any suggestions?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:21 pm

Monica-

I have the same thoughts about suicide, It scares the heck out of me....I am trying so hard to get rid of the thought and It won't go away....They say we not supposed to try to get rid of the thought, but instead to observe the thought - which for me seems difficult to do without feeling in such FEAR.....Contact me ny PM if you'd like and we will chat....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:02 am

Rocker,

I know it's been over a month since you addressed this topic but I just read it today for the first time.

You know by now that you do not have to do what your scary thoughts tell you. It's not in your nature anyway. One (and probably the only) great way to finally get a handle on your scary thoughts is to consciously welcome those thoughts in. Do nothing at all. Just welcome the thoughts in. Feel as scared as you feel. Welcome those scary feelings in. Talk to this part of you and tell it that you want to feel all those feelings and you want the thoughts to come in. Do this repeatedly. Right now, this part of you has you buffaloed into thinking you are your thoughts. This is totally bogus. You don't have to "follow through" with anything in order for the feelings to go away. When you consciously bring on the anxiety and welcome it in, you disempower what you "feel" has had power over you. Practice. The ego-thinking mind loves it when you react to the thoughts (unconsciously). Resisting those thoughts and feelings is what keeps them coming back. Now you are consciously welcoming them in and you will soon tire of the whole thing.

Commit to your healing. Practice. And, chew the hell out of this side of you as well. Let it know you are tired of it scaring you and running your life. Get out!

Use the mirror to help you through this. Eye contact with the ego-thinking mind is a powerful way to disempower it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:39 pm

My mind has slowed down some since being on 100 mg of Zoloft since Nov. However, when I am stressed, I still get the thoughts. Some how, I get them before I even come in contact with a person. Boon, can you explain why this would happen? Is it my brain stuck on that thought? Shouldn't the meds be working by now? They worked in the past. I also self-medicated with beer, but doesn't that counter act with the meds?