Obsessessed with person - can't let go.
-
AngieBrown
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 1:22 pm
I don't know how I can help myself to go through what I'm experiencing. I tend to be much of a loner by nature, but when I take a liking to a man who interests me, he becomes the only purpose of my life. No one else and nothing else matters. When he starts to pull away or I fear losing him, even a a friend, I suffer such emotional pain and feel I have no reason to live. I wish I had the courage to end my life and put me out of this indiscribable emotional pain. Nothing helps. And I'm not a stupid person, something terribly wrong. Can anyone relate to this?
-
Guest
Hi Angie:
I hear you.
I know your pain is so real.
I believe you'll need some counseling to help you overcome this.
The main issue here, I believe, is self-esteem.
The program will really help with this.
You have to become your own best friend.
I am sure you've found out by now that when you hold on to your boyfried too tight, cling to closely, that he will feel smothered and want to
run.
When you learn to love yourself and be your own friend you will be content whether you have a boyfriend or not. And you'll be more likely to meet someone who will appreciate you.
This sounds like a big order. But it is not impossible. Do you have the program?
If so , start working on the sessions. Do each one diligently. As best you can.
Until you feel better about all this you might want to postpone getting involved with anyone.
Find out how much fun YOU are. That is , learn to be content on your own. A partner doesn't complete you. You must be complete , and then
when you meet someone you will be two equals, not leaning on each other, but side by side. looking out on the world together. Not fearing what you'll do if they leave, but just enjoying each others company as two really adult people.
Two people complete in your own rights.
To acheive this you probably will need some counseling . I highly reccomment group counseling. If you can find it.
But the program alone will work wonders.
God bless you.
MJ
I hear you.
I know your pain is so real.
I believe you'll need some counseling to help you overcome this.
The main issue here, I believe, is self-esteem.
The program will really help with this.
You have to become your own best friend.
I am sure you've found out by now that when you hold on to your boyfried too tight, cling to closely, that he will feel smothered and want to
run.
When you learn to love yourself and be your own friend you will be content whether you have a boyfriend or not. And you'll be more likely to meet someone who will appreciate you.
This sounds like a big order. But it is not impossible. Do you have the program?
If so , start working on the sessions. Do each one diligently. As best you can.
Until you feel better about all this you might want to postpone getting involved with anyone.
Find out how much fun YOU are. That is , learn to be content on your own. A partner doesn't complete you. You must be complete , and then
when you meet someone you will be two equals, not leaning on each other, but side by side. looking out on the world together. Not fearing what you'll do if they leave, but just enjoying each others company as two really adult people.
Two people complete in your own rights.
To acheive this you probably will need some counseling . I highly reccomment group counseling. If you can find it.
But the program alone will work wonders.
God bless you.
MJ
-
AngieBrown
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 1:22 pm
to Cornflower,
Thanks for your response, concern and philosophy. I just thought I should respond to something you've said, "Find out how much fun YOU are". First of all this man is a wonderful friend who's wife passed away suddenly 18 months ago.....he is not my boyfriend. He has leaned on me for much needed support for about 9 months now. We've talked for hours and hours. He's still much in love with his late wife. He finds that I'm upbeat and fun, of course when we're not discussing very serious matters.
We've been on the same wave lengths all along. All of a sudden he's not liking himself and what he's become and wants to help himself. I've become so close with him. We've spoken every single day for hours and have gone on day trips (no romance involved).
So please, don't assume things when you don't know the whole story.
Thanks
Thanks for your response, concern and philosophy. I just thought I should respond to something you've said, "Find out how much fun YOU are". First of all this man is a wonderful friend who's wife passed away suddenly 18 months ago.....he is not my boyfriend. He has leaned on me for much needed support for about 9 months now. We've talked for hours and hours. He's still much in love with his late wife. He finds that I'm upbeat and fun, of course when we're not discussing very serious matters.
We've been on the same wave lengths all along. All of a sudden he's not liking himself and what he's become and wants to help himself. I've become so close with him. We've spoken every single day for hours and have gone on day trips (no romance involved).
So please, don't assume things when you don't know the whole story.
Thanks
-
Guest
quote:
42 AM
I don't know how I can help myself to go through what I'm experiencing. I tend to be much of a loner by nature, but when I take a liking to a man who interests me, he becomes the only purpose of my life. No one else and nothing else matters. When he starts to pull away or I fear losing him, even a a friend, I suffer such emotional pain and feel I have no reason to live. I wish I had the courage to end my life and put me out of this indiscribable emotional pain. Nothing helps. And I'm not a stupid person, something terribly wrong. Can anyone relate to this?
................................
Sorry!
I misintrepreted what you wrote. I do beg your pardon!
Blessings!
MJ
42 AM
I don't know how I can help myself to go through what I'm experiencing. I tend to be much of a loner by nature, but when I take a liking to a man who interests me, he becomes the only purpose of my life. No one else and nothing else matters. When he starts to pull away or I fear losing him, even a a friend, I suffer such emotional pain and feel I have no reason to live. I wish I had the courage to end my life and put me out of this indiscribable emotional pain. Nothing helps. And I'm not a stupid person, something terribly wrong. Can anyone relate to this?
................................
Sorry!
I misintrepreted what you wrote. I do beg your pardon!
Blessings!
MJ
I don't know how I can help myself to go through what I'm experiencing. I tend to be much of a loner by nature, but when I take a liking to a man who interests me, he becomes the only purpose of my life. No one else and nothing else matters. When he starts to pull away or I fear losing him, even a a friend, I suffer such emotional pain and feel I have no reason to live. I wish I had the courage to end my life and put me out of this indiscribable emotional pain. Nothing helps. And I'm not a stupid person, something terribly wrong. Can anyone relate to this?
WHOA!!!!I guess I would have "misintrepratated" this post too!! I think Cornflower and I had the same idea..perhaps this post would have been easier to respond to if more detailed..especially when the post is ended with "Can anyone relate"????
Ooops sorry
"O God, you are my God. Earnestly I seek you;my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is BETTER than life,my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name, I will lift up my hands." Psalms 63
-
Vegetarian4Life
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2009 2:40 am
I agree with cornflower and mom of 6. I misinterpreted as well. She should have said that she has a problem of letting go of people in whom she is interested, but that she's in a different situation.
Cornflower, I appreciate your post because it helps me as I can relate to feelings she described in her first post. It IS all about self esteem, I think. Thank you very much, that's wonderful advice.
Cornflower, I appreciate your post because it helps me as I can relate to feelings she described in her first post. It IS all about self esteem, I think. Thank you very much, that's wonderful advice.
-
AngieBrown
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 1:22 pm
-
Linda Haley
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:30 am
What you are doing is wanting someone in your life. I have been the same way all my life. I think I have to have a man to complete me. It seems like you are afraid of rejection. I always wanted someone who did not want me. If they loved me I did not love them. I have made so many mistakes in my life. I have been through several marriages. I guess I never learn. Sometimes I felt like dying but as you know I would be dead and they would find someone else and go on with their life why should I do that. I am learning you can not make someone love you. I have wasted many years of my life living in the past. I do not want to waste anymore time. You are better than that find someone who loves you the way you do them. Oh by the way I have been to counseling many times I think this program is doing me better.I am on session 4. Do you have this program? I do not know how old you are but do not waste your years like I have trying to make someone love you.
-
AngieBrown
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 1:22 pm
Hi Linda,
I'm in my 60's. What has happened to me is that I totally focus on the man who I am interested in.....nothing else matters.....I don't know what I like other than to be wanted, needed and loved. I want him to love me as much as I think I love him. I get completely in a state of panic and depression when he doesn't phone for a day or two. He's all I think about. And the one now is not even a boyfriend just a really good friend, I know I want more, or I don't want to lose him because he's my whole life. I've gone through these things all through my life.
Angie
I'm in my 60's. What has happened to me is that I totally focus on the man who I am interested in.....nothing else matters.....I don't know what I like other than to be wanted, needed and loved. I want him to love me as much as I think I love him. I get completely in a state of panic and depression when he doesn't phone for a day or two. He's all I think about. And the one now is not even a boyfriend just a really good friend, I know I want more, or I don't want to lose him because he's my whole life. I've gone through these things all through my life.
Angie