Question about the process of getting rid of scary thoughts

clearsky27 · Post by **clearsky27** » Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:30 pm

SO for the past few days when I have had a scary thought I have accepted it in my head and not reacted. I calmly have told myself that its ok to feel anxious because it is a scarey thought to have but thats all it is ...a thought. Then I breath and say someting positive. Then I do something to get my mind off it. It has been working for the past 2 days and the thoughts go away. SO my scary thought is always what if I dont love my fiance. Which really upsets me becuase I love him and dont want to have this thought. SO today after listening to my relaxation cd the thought popped in my head. I was so focused on my breathing that my imagination was running with it and I didnt even get upset. Then I freaked out thinking that it must be true if I am not getting upset over it. That its not my ocd its true. For the moment when I thought it I was so calm and half asleep that I was almost to tired to fight it and just let it be there and almost was like OK SO I guess I dont. Im so upset now that since I didnt freak out it shows that I dont love him. This upsets me bc I do

Or is it because I am teaching myself to not react by freaking out and I was in such a calm state that I let my imagination go.

I know I love him and when you ask me when I am calm and rational I know I do 110% but when Im anxious I freak out and think oh my goddo I or am I lying to myself and just mess with myself.

I have a great relationship with a great guy and I want to marry him but I hate having these thoughts.

Anyone else go through this or have any advice.

Thanks

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:38 am

I have to smile whenever I read this kind of reaction to the work being done on oneself. THIS IS JUST ANOTHER WAY YOUR SCARE VOICE IS TRYING TO KEEP YOU STUCK IN YOUR PAIN. It is bogus. Not truth. A lie!!!! Move past this like you would with the exercise you are doing. This is another way you are adding second fear. Do you see?

Shout STOP and get your attention on something outside of yourself. Keep your focus on what you are doing in the present moment. ("I see what you are doing. Not this time, buddy!")Feel the discomfort that will come but remember that this discomfort is temporary. Get past this so you can finally see that your scare voice is just that - a scare voice. A liar, a swindler, the best con artist you have ever met. Nothing more.

clearsky27 · Post by **clearsky27** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:56 am

Thanks Boon,

Its funny because I knew that in the back of my head and would have offered someone else that advice but it was so hard for me to accept it.

I feel like this part is very important and a big challenge for me because since I am letting the thought go it sounds worse and worse and when I dont respond to it I read and then reread into my reaction to of it . What I thought, what I felt, what I didnt think. I need to realize that this is like you said the best con artist in the world and its going to keep pressing me for a reaction after any negative OCD thought or doubt.

In my case I need to look at it and say this is just like someones scarey voice with stabbing someone with a knife. They can get themselves so worked up that they convince themselves that they need to hide all the knifes in the house because they want to stab someone, even though they dont and would never.

I think when I compare my thought to that I am able to see how its just my OCD. Im going start right now because I feel as though like you said before I am just wayyyy to in my head and twisting everything every which way. There is no need to I love him and want to be with him so thats what Ill do . Its not like anyone is ever going to force me to do anything. Even if these thoughts come and go. I need to remember they always GO.

R0xyg4l · Post by **R0xyg4l** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:10 am

Clearsky ~ I just wanted to say I know what you're talking about. We do all this stuff to habituate the thoughts and to learn not to have anxiety from them because they're just thoughts. Then once thats achieved then your brain goes and second guesses us again. It's truly just another way that our OCD is working to create anxiety. I'm sure you love your fiance, otherwise you wouldn't be his fiance right? Best of luck with your OCD!

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:23 am

You've GOT it, Clearsky! You've absolutely GOT it! No matter what that scarevoice says, your only job is to shout STOP and move on. Eventually you will just dismiss it without doing anything at all. You'll SEE the truth.

stephanie beth gurland · Post by **stephanie beth gurland** » Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:53 am

Hi:

This is Stephanie, boy am I learnng alot here,
most of it I knew already. Is OCD a form of
GAD? What happens with me revolves around my
blood pressure because whenyou et anxious you take it and it is usually auite high like over
170/102 and is much lower without the anxiety, so
antqgonize oer this and can't stop and I know I am walking everyday and my heart is fine, bt the what ifs start, whqat if I have a stroke, what if this happens and I get in this taispin
and when I go to thhe doctor's office and they take it, it is usually high because I ake it high by worrying, any suggestions?

clearsky27 · Post by **clearsky27** » Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:46 am

I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD so I think they are different however both are anxiety disorders. The thoughts of youhaveing a stroke is just your thoughts trying to scare you. Read the above advice Boon gave me. You need to just say STOP...tell it off and then move on. Have you told your doctor your concern that it is high when he checks it. He is aware that you have anxiety? Im sure if you checked mine when I am anxious it would be higher then it is when I am calm. People have been living with anxiety for years and some with that same fear. But they are all FINE and so are you. You just like me or anyone with OCD/ Anxiety seem to worry and stress and be negative with your thoughts. Practice and have faith that it will go away. I am still battling it but have found such encouragemtn and so many success stories that I believe it will happen for me to, I just need to work on it. Good LUck...YOu will be FINE!!!

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:30 am

Hi Stephanie,

Generalized anxiety can contribute to ocd, and ocd can make one anxious. It's a vicious cycle that you can break.

I recommend you do not take your pulse anymore NOR your blood pressure. Stop doing that. Just feel the anxiety that you experience by this new action. Do your breath work to help keep you focused. Keep your attention on what you are doing in the present moment. Shout NO - and move on with your day. The anxiety over not taking your bp will subside. You are creating a new habit so be patient.

Just a quick story: I went to the doctor (this is some time ago) for something totally unrelated to anxiety, and, of course, they always take your bp. Well, the nurse looked at me and said, "I think I'll have the doctor take it when he comes in to see you." So I knew it was high, altho, normally I do not have a high bp and the doctor knows this as well. So he comes in and takes it and says: "You don't want to know the read out. Why do I make you so nervous?" End of discussion. He did not put me on any meds because he knows I don't normally have a high bp.

My point is that so what if your bp is high sometimes. It won't hurt you to experience this from time to time. Your heart can take it. If you were diagnosed with high bp then I'd be telling you something different, but this is not the case. Don't check it anymore.

Christian73 · Post by **Christian73** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 7:47 am

I haven't been on this board in a while, but I was going through something very similar to Clearsky. Lo and behold I find not only someone going through the same thing, but also the exact advice I need. Remind myself that it's a though, just a thought, that is trying to scare me.

Thanks all. I wish you peace.