I know this sounds crazy

Sassesue · Post by **Sassesue** » Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:09 am

Thanks Sierra. It's been two months now and I just want it to go away!!!

Lucky Star · Post by **Lucky Star** » Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:02 am

Hi Alicia -

I struggle with these as well on and off for many years. Something I've been trying lately is to not acknowledge the thought and image and if I stick with it it works. Just get busy and refuse to entertain the thought. The longer you practice this the easier it gets. I know it's not easy because the thoughts are so powerful but remember the thoughts are not you.

I am trying to practice this myself and just know that some days are tougher than others...

Take Care and I'm here for you. I know how painful this is....

Jill

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:35 am

Alicia, I am right there with you... Can we talk???

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:33 am

I would love to talk. How should I contact you?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:28 am

Hi Alicia, I am so glad you started this post. I feel like you do most of the day. I have been dealing with these thoughts for 3 years. It seems I get rid of one and then another different worse thought appears. When you decribed the folding of clothes I so much could relate to that. I am just scared each and every day. I wish that one day I could wake up and not have the first worrisome thought be I am going to hurt my husband, daughter, etc today. Everyone says that the bad people feel comfort. I start questioning myself.... Do I feel comfort? Then my mind is like yes you do but I know I don't. It just scares me so bad to have these thoughts back and forth.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 9:00 am

mommy2005

You are not alone. My thoughts started in 2004. At that time, I didn't know what was going on. I believe I was 28 then. I went to the dr and he told me it was stress related, so I felt relieved. So, I went to my GP and he said we just need to up your Zoloft and, after that, I felt better. I had an occasional thought, but it didn't bother me. I actually laughted at it. I didn't think I needed the meds anymore, so I quit cold turkey. Well, the thoughts came back about 3 months ago after a lot of stress. I actually confided in my aunt (who is not blood related) and she told me she had the same thoughts years ago but, with medicine, she is a lot better. It is frustrating because you wonder if you will ever do these things. I don't even call my parents anymore because I am scared I will think bad things and they are my best friend. I also self medicate, which I know is bad, but I don't know how to deal with it any other way. Are you on medication? If so, what are you taking? I completely understand what you are going through. We should all be put in one room together. That probably wouldn't be a good idea though

I know how scared you are. I am scared too. I figured just lock me up and tie me down. I also want reassurance that I won't ever act on my thoughts, but I don't think anyone can guarantee that, which really makes it harder. I have tried to find support groups where I live and have not had any success, which makes it worse. Please feel free to email me at Juliana1003@aol.com, so we can talk and go through this together. I rambled on..so sorry.

ohstra · Post by **ohstra** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:04 am

hello alicia i know by now you have a thousand diff. reply's, but i want you to know your not crazy.I'm sufferin from the same thing.not exactly the same thougts,but just as intrusive and haunting.I'm embarrased of the thoughts that go through my mind everyday.i try and try to fight them but sometime i just cant get over them.i just got the cd from lucinda basset a couple of days ago,and im not sure yet but im just getting started like you.i just want to say i hope and pray that what ever these hauntin thougts are trying to do,they fail..cause you are much more important than a stupid thougt.im sorry that i might not have a solution right now but i want to let you know your not the only one suffering from messed up thought..just remember the good days and try to remember what you did that day to keep the thoughts away.and take every bit of advice from everyone and use what you think will help you. ok just wanted you to know.allright peace be with and god bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:22 am

Thank you Hollowspirit. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to pm me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:24 am

I think I need to be a member of your club here. I've talked to GE before about this same topic - it's awful! I took Zoloft over the years for anxiety issues, postpartum issues, etc. and then after 3 years I decided I didn't need it anymore and so went off in January. Well a few months later the thoughts started again. One example was when we were going to Lake Charles to gamble, about halfway there I started thinking - "what if the room has a balcony and I go gambling and come back to the room and jump off." it was ridiculous I know, but I couldn't stop thinking it. I had similar thoughts before in years past, esp after I had my kids. I was so afraid I was going to freak out and hurt them. It didn't help that right after I had my daughter was around the time of the Andrea Yates drowning her kids thing. I really thought I was going to snap and do something crazy. Of course the fact that I love my kids more than anything in this world didn't comfort me. I was and still a little was afraid that I'd just snap and lose my mind and hurt someone. Of course on the other side of the coin - I was raised by a real worrier - my mom was like "don't eat popcorn at the movie, you'll choke" "don't run, you'll fall and crack your head open" - I heard this kind of stuff all day long growing up (and still do!). My therapist says that worry is a learned habit, and I learned very well and that these thoughts can be related to that. She said that we have to replace that habit with a new, better one. So, that's what I'm working on now, along with the program, my therapist and zoloft. There are times when the thoughts come and I just kinda laugh and think "don't be ridiculous" Like before if I saw a knife I'd think, "what if I hurt someone with that" and a big one was where I used to work there was a police officer around our building all the time and I'd think "what if I grabbed his gun" - or even if i'm in church and I'd think "what if I yelled the worst cussword I could think of right now" - sometiems these thoughts don't get to me. but if I'm feeling particularly anxious and a thought comes like "what if i went crazy and hurt myself or my family", it will freak me out. And then I physically feel nervous and shaky and just unsettled. Do you all ever feel that way? I think I need to go up on my zoloft (I'm on 50 since June and the other day I think I accidently took it twice and since then I've had a lot more anxiety when I had been doing well). I'm going to ask my doc at my check up Monday, but I know from the past that Zoloft has stopped these thoughts and I want to learn how to do it myself, too, of course. Thanks for listening again everyone.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:35 am

And I meant to add after my long novel I just wrote up there that I had shared with GE and some others before that in looking at some of the Pure O information on obsessive thoughts like this, it said that people who have these types of thoughts are actually LESS LIKELY than the general population to hurt themselves or others. That comforts me when I start freaking out.