Relationship OCD?

Jacquelin · Post by **Jacquelin** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 5:17 am

Spencer,

I know how you’re feeling. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we have been living together for 3. I am so in love and happy with him. Yet, the last three months have been tough due to “relationship OCD”. I am always scared that I will hurt him or that I have already hurt him emotionally. I am extremely irritable and it is hard for him to deal with because he is sensitive. The second I wake up every morning I feel anxiety and guilt. I even fear our wedding day because I am afraid that my OCD and anxiety will kick in and I will ruin everything (I know this sound so ridiculous). It is tough for me because I seem to lose touch with what is real and what is just anxiety.

It sounds like your doubts are just OCD and anxiety. You know you won’t really hurt your girlfriend. You care so much about her that it hurts to have these thoughts. I know how that is but remember it’s just OCD and anxiety. Also your thoughts like “do I really love her” is just you overanalyzing everything…we are really good at that. Think back to how you feel when you are with her and not having these thoughts. That’s what is real.

Do you have the program? If not you should try it. The relaxation tape really helps. I just started it yesterday and I already feel a little stronger.

Also, these bad thoughts will pass. They always pass. Think of these few great weeks with your girlfriend. You have much more of that to look forward to.

HMA77 · Post by **HMA77** » Wed May 06, 2009 7:05 am

I can also empathize with what you are going through. All my life I have been searching for "the one" and once she was dropped right before my eyes and actually began liking me - I started to doubt it. I decided to ask her to marry me and as excited as I was leading up to it - the moment she said yes I went into a negative OCD panic. I agree with Jacquelin - think of the good times when you are down and remember that the tough times come and go often but will pass. It's simply the brain over analyzing and searching for external gratification. You should read Ekhart Tolley's Power of Now. It's incredibly helpful.

Hortense · Post by **Hortense** » Wed May 06, 2009 1:16 pm

Hi Spencer,

I had several of these thoughts before I got well. You are under a lot off stress with your new girlfriend and this could possible give you all these thougts.

Ask yourself if this relationschip is good for you. What are you getting out of it. What do you want out of it.

bubblybrunette · Post by **bubblybrunette** » Thu May 07, 2009 1:10 pm

i've got the same realtionship issues. im not in a serious relationship right now because its really hard for me to trust people. But in your case, i think its just doubt creeping up unnecessarily. i think you really do love her and you'll get past the little things that bother each other.