HOCD and other scary thoughts- PLEASE help!!

BM4657 · Post by **BM4657** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:38 am

Sarah, I hear you on that one. I too have asked myself that same question about my sexuality. Granted that Im not attracted to the same sex, but Im always asking myself , "Am I?" I keep having the worst luck with the opposite sex and I cant seem to grasp it. Ive been going through this since my teens and its gotten worse. Im afraid I'll ever find true love. I dont know what to do. Even the music I listen to, people think that I like the same sex. I am faced with that scary thought everyday. Whats your take on it?

beepster · Post by **beepster** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:18 pm

Hi all,

I just saw my psychiatrist today and she wanted me to do intensive therapy for my OCD. I use to have the fear that I was gay, now I have the fear that my 6 year old so might be. I have had the fear since he was a newborn. (OCD for sure). Anyway, she wants me to provoke my anxiety so that I will become anxious and eventually I will become bored with the thought and it won't bother me. She suggested to me today that for 20 minutes I write scary thoughts down. Like my son is Gay (that freaked me right out, having to put it in writing) Then I am suppose to talk into a recorder for 20 minutes and say my son is gay and whatever other scary thoughts I am having and then listen to it for another 20 minutes. I am suppose to do this for an hour every day. Just the thought of it made me sick! I know that one of the CD's help's with ocd thoughts and I was thinking about waiting until I hear how Lucinda says to handle it. I really don't want to do what the doctor suggested. What do you guys think? Sounds scary doesn't it.

Chels · Post by **Chels** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:02 am

hi guys, i just read all of your posts and i can most definitely relate. but the major thing to realize and i know you all know this because you have all just told eachother, is that its JUST A THOUGHT. what if thoughts will scare you to death if YOU LET THEM. you cant let them. beepster what your psychiatrist mentioned is actually a really good idea, repitition is key in order for the thought to seem less scary to you. lucinda also recommends writing your scary thought into something so ridiculously funny that it takes the edge off of it being too scary. it is amazing what we can do to our minds. i still have trouble with my what if thoughts. i actually convinced myself i HAD cheated on my boyfriend because i kept what if-ing about kissing someone.. so just realize that whatever you put into your head, your head has no choice but to beleive it. so therefore, change it. another good thing to do is underreact. say to yourself so what if this or what if that? so what? no big deal. the more u react to the thought, the worse its going to be. dont let this beat you! we are all so intelligent and creative, and we deserve the best! so keep at it, and i promise you will come out on top.

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:59 am

When you fight your thoughts they will most certainly come back again and again. They are hard to "get rid" of because of the constant resistance to them. Other people get these same thoughts but dismiss them easily. People with panic attack disorder and ocd are very sensitive people and tend to hang onto odd thoughts as if they were true. They are not true and they will never become true.

Thoughts are thin air. They have no crystal ball and only are obnoxious when you resist them. Same with feelings, sensations, memories, etc. Practice allowing them to come and go. It's no big deal if these thoughts are there and you must practice allowing them to come and go without your emotional attachment or aversion to them until you can see this for yourself.

Just breathe in and say: "I welcome you." Then focus on what you are doing in the present moment. Continue this way. Don't carry on a conversation with your mind. Your mind has no opinion one way or the other. YOU are the one reacting. "I welcome you" and move on. "You are welcome here" and move on. Simple. You can do it. Make this your new habit. You will learn to no longer react to these thoughts.

Sarah0612 · Post by **Sarah0612** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:11 pm

BM4657, I've had this thought through my teens as well. The thing is, you KNOW deep down that you're not attracted to the same sex. Just because you've had bad luck with the opposite sex means nothing-- it's just that, bad luck! What other people think doesn't matter either, you know the truth deep down. Hang in there, it'll get better with time, we just have to be patient!! It's JUST a thought!

Chels and Boon, you are both so right. We just have to welcome the thoughts. Easier said than done of course, it's scary as hell. But I've been trying this for a little while now, and I've been feeling better. Keep on track with the program too, it really will help.

tiffanytee · Post by **tiffanytee** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 5:32 pm

I have not been diagnosed with OCD, but these same thoughts have gone through my head. I used to worry, "what if I'm gay?" when I know I am not. I also worry about the same thing with my son. I'm constantly watching out for this. The program has helped me a great deal with the obsessive negative thoughts. I feel much better than when I restarted the program about a month ago. Keep working at it. It will get better.

Footprints18 · Post by **Footprints18** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:18 am

SARAH--- OH MY GOD you and I are sooo much alike. 2 years ago, when I was 19. I had the same thoughts you do. THEY WERE AWFUL. I say..that they were because I have learned to deal with them. THERE IS HOPE. I THOUGHT I WAS ALWAYS ALONE AND I AM SOO GLAD THAT YOU HAVE FOUND THAT YOU ARE NOT..and how common this really is.

<3 Sammy