ocd thoughts ra escaring the crap out of me!

BeatAnxiety07 · Post by **BeatAnxiety07** » Mon May 07, 2007 12:36 pm

Originally posted by LisaGD:
Thanks for the encouragement, BeatAnxiety! I will definitely try what you suggested when I'm feeling a bit stronger.

Hugs to you,
Lisa

welcome ..

and best of Luck!

Joy Nelson · Post by **Joy Nelson** » Tue May 08, 2007 3:01 pm

Hi Marts,
I am a 29 female and boy do I know what you mean about sharing your thoughts with your boyfriend or family, they can comfort you to a point, but the best suppport you can get is from people like on here that are going through what you are. Hang in there you will find relief and the times you too will help you soo much for the times you don't feel as good. We are all here:)

Freedom23 · Post by **Freedom23** » Tue May 08, 2007 3:55 pm

Hi Marts,

I know how you feel as well. Godsbabygirl's posting was awesome and really put into words a lot of how I feel too.

Since I read that posting a few weeks ago, those thoughts really don't bother me as much. Try to think of us when you are having them and know that it happens to a lot of us.

I used to punish myself for those thoughts daily. It was so hard but it's definitely better now (other thoughts still definitely bother me though). So hard to talk about them. You feel so alone, like you're the only one out there who thinks such "horrible" thoughts.

Good luck with everything and talk soon.

Garrettwriter · Post by **Garrettwriter** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 8:53 pm

I really have been comforted by reading all of your posts. Gosh, it almost feels repetitive just because I can identify with so many. I set out to describe my own scary thoughts and suddenly someone else already has! And STILL I am tempted to say, "oh, but my thoughts can beat there's." But the truth is that we all suffer from the feeling that ours are the worst! So thank you all for sharing. I know it takes courage.

I'd also like to share what a former counselor once told me when I described some of my scary thoughts about hurting others to him. He basically told me that my mind was like a fax machine printing out pages (thoughts) and I was constantly trying to censor what was coming out, believing that there were "ok" thoughts and "bad" thoughts, and that this was a mistake. He said that sometimes, especially if we have religious backgrounds as I did, that we are taught a thought is tantamount to an act, but this simply isn't true. There are no "bad" thoughts. Just thoughts. And just because we have thoughts, doesn't mean we have any desire to actually hurt someone. So I asked him what to do and he said "stop censoring it. Just let the fax come through." And once I did that, the thoughts stopped coming. Lately I've been obsessing again though, and as hard as it is, I've just got to work on these skills and stop fearing my thoughts. It's just mental boredom.

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:06 am

Great analogy, Garrettwriter. I'm sure that will help a lot of readers. There are many ways to say something and this is really well put. Thank you so much.

It does get easier so keep practicing and using your tools. A great one that really helps me is: "I know what you're trying to do, ego. I don't judge you nor will I try to make you go away. I just want you to know that I see what you are doing." This changes the outcome for me and I can move on with my day.

Thank you again.

Obsessed · Post by **Obsessed** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:31 am

I am new hear, so I don't know if I am posting this right, if it will show up. Gods baby girl, you are not alone. I have the same thing, it used to be what if I'm a homosexual when I was a teen, even though I never wanted to do that. I remember after a football game our team won, I was in the locker showering and had thoughts. Boy was I sickened. It got so bad I had to take meds. I also now worry about the pedophile thoughts. I was holding a kid in my lap and thought these thoughts. I felt so sick to my stomach, as if thinking the thoughts and having the kid in my lap meant I committed a crime. Lucky I was in a room full of people so everyone can back me up when saying I was doing nothing innapropriate. But it was so sick, I felt tormented. I thought I had it undercontrol and later on the year I was taking care of my nephew. I lifted him up and thought the words molestation. I quickly put him down and was sickened. I went to a psych and he told me it was part of my OCD. Well it was ok until this year when my girlfriend joked around and something about little kids came up, and I had this horrific feeling that I was a pedophile. I was ok for a while, just suppressed the thoughts, but now they come up all of the time, if I look at a kid, I have this sick feeling, and then my mind says stuff like your checking the kid out. SICK!! Also, everytime I hold a kid, somehow my mind starts thinking sexual thoughts, so I try to chase them out and feel horrible. But then I feel like I just committed a crime by just hold the kid and thinking a thought. And mind the fact that I've never changed a diaper by myself a day in my life, I refuse now because of this. Hang in there, I am definitely trying. It is hard. I hope you can get over this and pray for me that I will. Thanks.

Christ_Bearer · Post by **Christ_Bearer** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:28 am

Hi guys,
just want you to know that I have been fighting this for several years now. I love to watch action movies (lol), but recently I have been having scary, violent thoughts. So I am more reluctant to do watch an action movie, even if it isn't gory or anything like that.

I have come to realize, however that it wasn't the movies that were really causing me to go down this road. It was the stressful experiences that I was going through. I was dealing with things, and questioning "Is it reall worth all this".

So I then started dealing with negative, destructive thoughts.
I was (and sometimes, still am) afraid that I would end up like the Next virginia tech kid or something. But I know I wouldn't do anything.
Sometimes I would deal with it so much that it almost felt as if the thought had become a temptation.

And then I thought, "OH MY GOSH!", how could I be tempted to do such things. But then I had to realize that there is nothing wrong with being tempted to do anything. Jesus Christ was tempted with every sin imaginable, yet he did nt sin.

So that should reassure us that, even if we are tempted, we shold not put down ourselves. It is what we "do" that defines us.

Morgan · Post by **Morgan** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:00 am

I can relate to everything you are saying and I know you and i both can get through it,Some of my main obsessions is that i obsess thinking that i must be skitzophrenic when i know and my dr. has asurred me that i am not but i cant stop at times thinking about it and wondering if the people im talking with are really there or not, It can be very frustrating but I Know that its just me scareing myself with the scariest thought i can think of./

We will get through this with the Lords help.

rg3683 · Post by **rg3683** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 2:34 am

hang in there. you are not alone and certainly not sick or crazy. the obsessions will rotate until it finds one that sticks emotionally. what has worked for me is label it exactly for what it is "its ocd not me", to be a detached observer of thoughts ie not letting it get into your emotional response mode, to desensitize it by visualizing a cartoon character saying these things to you. there is a great book for ocd's - brain lock which has helped me. also reaffirm
who you are and stay grounded in that. stay strong.

anthonyntx · Post by **anthonyntx** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:43 pm

Let me reassure you that for one you are not alone in your thoughts and, two, there are millions out there just like you. So what seperates you from a true, real life, molester. It's simple and clear. You have a conscience and know right from wrong. The mere fact that you have overwhelming anxiety and pain in your heart is a very telling sign that you will never ever act on your thoughts. I know this may seem hard to believe at this time in your life. Those people who go off and do terrible things to children have no conscience whatsoever and see pleasure in what they do. They don't think even for a split second what they are doing is wrong and sick. They don't lose sleep over it nor have panic attacks either. So how do you overcome this feeling and put things back in there proper prospective. First in comes with a good understanding of OCD and what it is and isn't. And two, to always believe in yourself and that your thoughts will pass. To this I can only say read the book "Imp of Mind" by Lee Baer. It is an easy read ~ 140 pages, not to technical but powerful in every other respect. I be willing to bet that after reading this book and doing some of the exercises that in about a month or so you would be laughing at yourself and saying why did I get myself worked up over some silly thought. Treat yourself to an early XMAS present by buying the book now. It will be the best $15.00 you ever spent on yourself. Good luck, best wishes, and God Bless.