Well I didn't again. Went out and had a couple of drinks and now feel guilty as can be. constantly obsessing about "what could've happened". "what if" stuff. It is killing. i am not a big drinker hence when I do it doesn't take long to affect me.
I believe this disorder pretty much began when during my college days made some significant mistakes as a result of drinking. consequently I constantly strive for perfectionism in many aspects of my life. being a "perfect citizen", nice guy, carry myself to the utmost integrity.
I guess what bothers me most is that I drove 3 miles home to my house, relatively "buzzed". What is playing now in my head is- what if you got in trouble, what if you mess up your career you worked so hard for. that kind of stuff.
I recognize the mistake (big mistake) in driving while drinking. I am the last person to take that lightly and think - well made it home, no biggie attitude.
you know what that is the first time I drove in a car ( in about 12 years) while drinking. I am pissed, angry, disappointed, and can't let it go.
any suggestions? I know I shouldn't have driven.
drinking, worries, etc.
Don't beat yourself up..we are all good at doing that aren't we! I've been in your shoes. You realized the mistake. Now go forward and don't dwell on it. It helps me to give myself permission to be upset about something for a few minutes and then say to myself"that's enough,now,I must go forward" I feel your pain, I am not having a great day myself. Hopes the support here helps a bit. Take Care
Normalcy -
You can use designated worry time for something like this if it is not leaving you easily. (Goodness knows you've probably ripped your heart out ten times by now....)
Set a time in the day that you will sit and write on paper what you are feeling about this experience. Really let loose on this paper. Write for 20 - 45 mintues and really judge, criticize and raze cane with the experience. Give yourself permission to be upset for this alotted time only. When your time is up put paper and pen away. When thoughts of beating yourself come up (and they will at first) then tell yourself: Hey, you had your time. It's over for the day. We'll do this again at (such and such a time) tomorrow.
Note: This is not about berating yourself. It is about writing the experience down and how you feel about it over and over until you exhaust yourself over it and you no longer need to ruminate about it. It's a form of "allowing". You are resisting everything about it right now - including the fact that you are upset with yourself. "Alright already! So I'm upset with myself. That's enough now."
Also, get yourself out of your head by getting into the present moment. Really focus on what is going on around you. Breathe into the feelings and thoughts as they arise but do not give them the energy they are begging for except at your designated worry time.
Repeat until you no longer feel the need to do it anymore.
You can use designated worry time for something like this if it is not leaving you easily. (Goodness knows you've probably ripped your heart out ten times by now....)
Set a time in the day that you will sit and write on paper what you are feeling about this experience. Really let loose on this paper. Write for 20 - 45 mintues and really judge, criticize and raze cane with the experience. Give yourself permission to be upset for this alotted time only. When your time is up put paper and pen away. When thoughts of beating yourself come up (and they will at first) then tell yourself: Hey, you had your time. It's over for the day. We'll do this again at (such and such a time) tomorrow.
Note: This is not about berating yourself. It is about writing the experience down and how you feel about it over and over until you exhaust yourself over it and you no longer need to ruminate about it. It's a form of "allowing". You are resisting everything about it right now - including the fact that you are upset with yourself. "Alright already! So I'm upset with myself. That's enough now."
Also, get yourself out of your head by getting into the present moment. Really focus on what is going on around you. Breathe into the feelings and thoughts as they arise but do not give them the energy they are begging for except at your designated worry time.
Repeat until you no longer feel the need to do it anymore.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold
Normalcy,
Freckles & Boon are both right! "Don't beat yourself up"- I have felt that SAME WAY TOO! What if? What if? Do you know why? It's because we are extremely sensitive people.. Guilt seems to be a big problem for you, but "excessive guilt is a useless emotion". It serves no real purpose- and unless you have done something so horrible to DELIBERATELY hurt someone, you don't deserve to feel guilt..
I have worked directly with inmates in prisons for over 8 years and you wouldn't BELIEVE the things that these people have done!! I cannot even go into it, but let me tell you-- they don't feel guilt at all- that is why they are there! Don't let your guilt consume you- live for the precious, present moment---THE PAST ALLREADY HAPPENED, IT WON'T HAPEN AGAIN... U can always E-mail me at my personal address, I think we have some things in common: vickixox@comcast.net
Freckles & Boon are both right! "Don't beat yourself up"- I have felt that SAME WAY TOO! What if? What if? Do you know why? It's because we are extremely sensitive people.. Guilt seems to be a big problem for you, but "excessive guilt is a useless emotion". It serves no real purpose- and unless you have done something so horrible to DELIBERATELY hurt someone, you don't deserve to feel guilt..
I have worked directly with inmates in prisons for over 8 years and you wouldn't BELIEVE the things that these people have done!! I cannot even go into it, but let me tell you-- they don't feel guilt at all- that is why they are there! Don't let your guilt consume you- live for the precious, present moment---THE PAST ALLREADY HAPPENED, IT WON'T HAPEN AGAIN... U can always E-mail me at my personal address, I think we have some things in common: vickixox@comcast.net
Letting go and forgiving myself is the hardest thing for me to do. I totally understand your guilt and shame. I don't necessarily think that guilt and shame are a bad thing, they are emotions that let us know when we have done something to harm ourselves or others. However I have a terrible time of letting go and moving on.
I don't really have a suggestion for you, I just wanted you to know that I relate and that beating myself up has never helped me. But I don't really know how to not do that.
Peace and goodwill
Though
I don't really have a suggestion for you, I just wanted you to know that I relate and that beating myself up has never helped me. But I don't really know how to not do that.
Peace and goodwill
Though