obsessing about getting older and being cheated on.

little chris · Post by **little chris** » Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:30 am

My boyfriend dated a girl when we broke up for a month that was 21 and I'm 32. I can't seem to get over it. It hurts so bad, I keep thinking he is thinking about her. I have never felt so insecure in my life. I look like I'm 23 but I just can't stop obsessing about getting older and what men think about older woman and are men really faithful even when their wife doesn't look the same as they did when they were younger. I think lots of older women are beautiful though. Does anyone else obsess about this kind of thing. I feel so ridiculous and I don't tell anyone about this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 26, 2008 7:47 am

Hi Christine,
We all know we are getting older and can't do anything about fact. We can help the aging process by feeling young at heart, eating healthy, exercising and keeping a healthy attitude about life.
If we dwell on aging we are missing out on the years when we are young. You are far from being old so just live for the moments you have now and stop looking ahead. nothing drives a man away more than a partner who is insecure about their husband/ boyfriend cheating. Trust is one of the if not the most important aspect of any relationship. If it's not there than how strong is the union??
live for today, tomorrow will take care of itself however it's meant to be.

I've been with my husband for 20 years and trust him with all my heart, he also knows he can trust me. We have both changed, aged, don't look just as we did when we fell in love but it's about more than looks, it's about loving and sharing in the good and bad times, young and old, sick and healthy. That's how I feel about it anyway and so does my husband.

Don't worry, just enjoy!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:45 am

A Man's View

Hello little chris,

My wife and I got married when I was 20 and she was 18. We are in our 40's and we still love each other even though we don't look the same and when we're in our 70's we will look different, but I know love is there. If the love is there quit obsessing about getting older because like all of us you will. As for you saying you think lots of older women are beautiful,I'm married and I love my wife but I have seen women in there 20's, 30's, 40's and even 50's that are beautiful. I'm not chasing after them its just an observation so to sum it up quit wasting your time obsessing about getting older and just look at it like this, as you get older you can still be beautiful and about you and your boyfriend,is love there? And if so let the obsessing go.

inside man

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 3:54 pm

Hi Chris,

I just wanted to tell you, if that other woman was so much better, then why did he go back with you? Think about that and focus on that he obviously wants to be with you. Remember looks are not everything and neither is age. Enjoy your time with your boyfriend and try not to focus on the past...

Wish you the best.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 4:13 pm

Dear Chris, We don't fall in love with looks, really. I have known some attractive men who became ugly to me once I got to know them better. I am in love with (even though we are not together) a man who everyone teases about his looks. But because he has a sense of humor & is a good father & is the "life of the party" he is the most attractive, sexy man I have ever known. I miss him & want no one else. If your boyfriend has come back to you count your blessings & enjoy every day that you have together. I think it's the universe correcting a mistake & it is meant to be.

Jane Stewart · Post by **Jane Stewart** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 4:43 pm

Hi Christine:
Youth doesn't last forever, but it is sad that you think of yourself as 'older'. Real love isn't based on the things that you are thinking of.
I will be 80 years next month. My advice to you is: Don't waste your precious time worrying about 'getting old'. (aging). Every stage of life is worth living, every era that we pass through adds something that makes life worth-while. It is best to live life as it is happening.
Sometimes as you pass through an era of your life you will have someone to love. Sometimes you might find yourself alone for the most part.
But it is not who you are with that creates your happiness. It is what is in your heart.
I have found that acceptance of whatever state I find myself in brings contentment.
If your partner sees that contentment within you he will be comfortable with you . In the long run a person isn't drawn to that exciting and exhilarating feeling of first attraction.
But, rather, most people like the feeling of
comfort and peacefulness that a trusting relationship brings.
Continue in the program and I think that you will develope self esteem which will enable you to quit doubting whether someone could love you for you.
I doubt that you boyfriend goes around thinking about another girl .
Life is too full of real living problems that claim one's attention.
What helps me to be content and worry-free about myself is to focus on others.
You might visit a nursing home and there you will see what "old" really looks like. And then you will relish your own 32 youthful years and your vigor and health.
Get outside yourself. Do something for a really old person who might be in poor health or lonely.
Not preaching here - just want to give you a bit of a dif. perspective.
Best of luck to you!
MJ

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 6:37 am

Thank you so much for all your responses. I know I'm really silly with my obsessive thinking sometimes but you all helped me alot thank you. It just makes more sense when you tell people how your feeling.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:15 am

Hmmm. So does this make me an Old Broad or what?
Kiddo, make this kind of worry one of those thinking things you quit doing. Life is what we make it, not what we look at in the mirror.
Here is a funny story. Many years ago a male friend told me this about an attractive woman he'd been dating: All the bows and ribbons are there, but the box is empty. He left her the next day.
Work on your thinking. This kind of worry (like Cornflower said) is a waste of your time.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:46 am

Originally posted by Laura A. Geimann:
Dear Chris, We don't fall in love with looks, really. I have known some attractive men who became ugly to me once I got to know them better. I am in love with (even though we are not together) a man who everyone teases about his looks. But because he has a sense of humor & is a good father & is the "life of the party" he is the most attractive, sexy man I have ever known. I miss him & want no one else. If your boyfriend has come back to you count your blessings & enjoy every day that you have together. I think it's the universe correcting a mistake & it is meant to be.

This is the way I used to think when I wasn't depressed so thanks for reminding me that this is true what you have to say thanks!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:52 am

Originally posted by Inside Man:
A Man's View

Hello little chris,

My wife and I got married when I was 20 and she was 18. We are in our 40's and we still love each other even though we don't look the same and when we're in our 70's we will look different, but I know love is there. If the love is there quit obsessing about getting older because like all of us you will. As for you saying you think lots of older women are beautiful,I'm married and I love my wife but I have seen women in there 20's, 30's, 40's and even 50's that are beautiful. I'm not chasing after them its just an observation so to sum it up quit wasting your time obsessing about getting older and just look at it like this, as you get older you can still be beautiful and about you and your boyfriend,is love there? And if so let the obsessing go.

inside man