The last couple weeks have been really trying for me. I am doubting, second guessing things that I've done or not done. The first example I have is that I go to confession to confess to a priest. Lately I'm finding myself wondering/second guessing if I really said everything I was suppose to or did I just skirt around what I wanted to say? I'm not totally believing (remembering?) that I actually confessed my sins! Like I really want to go through it all again but how can I reassure myself that I did tell? The purpose of me going was to get them out. And I know I got it out because I know walking out I felt a 100lbs lighter to get the "guilt" off my shoulders.
The other topic is "have I cheated on my husband and I just don't remember?" This has always been a fear of mine, someday cheating. I rarely go out drinking without him and if I do, I only have a couple so that I avoid getting in a bad situation. I read an article this morning on a man who wonders if the baby his wife is carrying is actually his baby...so it got me thinking (as I'm pregnant) did I cheat and I don't remember?
I KNOW I DIDN'T!
But yet this morning I found myself going over the month we conceived and accounting for every weekend just to make sure and I was with my husband for everyone...UGH! I know that ocd is the "doubters disease" and I've read before that sometimes people confess things that they haven't even done.
This is just plain crazy. I am nervous that someday I could actually think I did something so horrible as to confess it even though I really didn't do it! When I watch shows I feel guilty and wonder if I've done the things the people are doing on tv. Its nuts.
Has anyone else experienced this and what have you done to stop the second guessing or going over and over to make sure?
doubt and second guessing yourself
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Pixie - This is very characteristic of obsessive thinking. It's just the nature of the beast and nothing to be afraid of. THIS IS CUREABLE!!! A wonderful book to help further you in your healing process that addresses OCD specifically is Freedom From Fear by Dr. Howard Liebgold. It has specific exercises and in no time at all you'll be feeling more in control of your thoughts.
For now, practice being the observer of your thinking. Just watch the thoughts come and go. They will not harm you and this is the perfect way to not resist them anymore. You want to allow them to come and go without your attachment to them. Do not argue with them. Don't fight them. Just allow. When you stop giving them energy they will subside and lose the power that they have over you right now. (And, the only power they have is to make you miserable.)
Bless you, Pixie.
For now, practice being the observer of your thinking. Just watch the thoughts come and go. They will not harm you and this is the perfect way to not resist them anymore. You want to allow them to come and go without your attachment to them. Do not argue with them. Don't fight them. Just allow. When you stop giving them energy they will subside and lose the power that they have over you right now. (And, the only power they have is to make you miserable.)
Bless you, Pixie.
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Hi Pixie,
I am totally with you on this one. Currently 15 weeks pregnant, and having doubters thoughts as well. I know they are only thoughts, deep down, but cannot shake returning to thinking about them. Did I do something out of control, do I need to confess? I do notice they increase when my stress increases. For example, Saturday I kept thinking I was going to do something wrong, then second guessed the next two days....did I do something wrong? I needed to go out of town for business on Sunday, so this might have been the trigger. I will check and check again to make sure I didn't do anything wrong. It doesn't help that I've been having very vivid dreams with the pregnancy, which you might also be having. I'm going to pick up the book Boon mentions, and start the relaxation again.
Hang in there, I remember a time when the thoughts weren't there.
Lucie
I am totally with you on this one. Currently 15 weeks pregnant, and having doubters thoughts as well. I know they are only thoughts, deep down, but cannot shake returning to thinking about them. Did I do something out of control, do I need to confess? I do notice they increase when my stress increases. For example, Saturday I kept thinking I was going to do something wrong, then second guessed the next two days....did I do something wrong? I needed to go out of town for business on Sunday, so this might have been the trigger. I will check and check again to make sure I didn't do anything wrong. It doesn't help that I've been having very vivid dreams with the pregnancy, which you might also be having. I'm going to pick up the book Boon mentions, and start the relaxation again.
Hang in there, I remember a time when the thoughts weren't there.
Lucie
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Jessica1787
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:44 pm
Lucie - You have the power to stop doubting yourself. It takes patience and love for yourself but you can do it and you can do it right now.
When doubt comes in use your THOUGHT STOPPAGE. Shout STOP either silently or out loud. (When you are alone out loud is great.) Then immediately start your calm breath. I breathe in slowly, hold for the count of 4 and then breathe out slowly. Whatever technique you use that helps you is fine. (You can use your calm breath as often as you need to.) Once is very significant, however, because it gives a message to your brain that "OK, something's different here." You will begin to feel your body calm. Then get busy with something. Sing, laugh, walk, hum, juggle, play music, throw a ball, count backwards from 100. Everytime you sense you want to go into thinking, thinking, thinking that you may have done something wrong use the above exercise. Shout back at this part of yourself. Tell it to knock the hell off. You've had enough and you are not taking it anymore! Then go back to taking your attention to something outside of yourself. Eventually this part of you will get the message that you simply are not going to entertain it anymore and you'll notice decreasing in intensity and pretty soon you will beable to dismiss it all together. Practice as often as you need to. You can heal from this!
When doubt comes in use your THOUGHT STOPPAGE. Shout STOP either silently or out loud. (When you are alone out loud is great.) Then immediately start your calm breath. I breathe in slowly, hold for the count of 4 and then breathe out slowly. Whatever technique you use that helps you is fine. (You can use your calm breath as often as you need to.) Once is very significant, however, because it gives a message to your brain that "OK, something's different here." You will begin to feel your body calm. Then get busy with something. Sing, laugh, walk, hum, juggle, play music, throw a ball, count backwards from 100. Everytime you sense you want to go into thinking, thinking, thinking that you may have done something wrong use the above exercise. Shout back at this part of yourself. Tell it to knock the hell off. You've had enough and you are not taking it anymore! Then go back to taking your attention to something outside of yourself. Eventually this part of you will get the message that you simply are not going to entertain it anymore and you'll notice decreasing in intensity and pretty soon you will beable to dismiss it all together. Practice as often as you need to. You can heal from this!
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