PURE O

Suffering from OCD? Post your history, experience, comments and/or suggestions
Megun
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:02 am

Post by Megun » Wed Jul 30, 2008 5:17 am

Hi fellows,
How do you deal with doubts? I know that I have OCD but, sometimes when the scary thoughts come into my head, they are so intrusive and crazy I start to doubt that I have some mental illness like schizophrenia or split of personality or something else. My mind is so tired and I can't think clearly. How you deal with scary thoughts? Do you accept them? And how long after "I don't care" attitude you start to feel better?

Thanks!
P.S. Sorry about my terrible english.:?
Don't run away, dive in your life!

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jul 30, 2008 5:47 am

I know EXACTLY how you feel. It's like your thoughts are literally running away with you! I think it has to do with PTSD...an incident happened in that past where you felt powerless over a situation where you felt your life was threatened and it's being remembered even though there is nothing happening anymore. HONESTLY even if you did have either of those mental illnesses everything happens for your growth and expansion and it doesn't mean you are never going to be a normal healthy person again. Unless you are seeing and hearing things I don't think you have schizophrenia and unless you have blocks where you don't remember time that passed I don't think you have split personality either. The best advice I can give you is to always tell yourself you are in YOUR ARE IN YOUR OWN POWER. Even if you don't feel it right away even if it takes months, just be patient and keep assuring yourself that YOU are the power and nothing can control you.

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:49 am

I have the same problem and my therapist always reminds me I am not going to go crazy and i AM ALWAYS IN CONTROL otherwise i would have already done the things i was thinking. . TRUTH VS THOUGHTS. . I thought I had schizo and split personality too. You are not crazy. Just very sensitive

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:14 am

I found some really comforting information about
scary thoughts on the nomorepanic website, I'll copy and paste the part from panic attacks:The Fears: going crazy, of dying, of impending doom, of normal things, unusual feelings and emotions, unusually frightening thoughts or feelings



What you feel:

You suddenly become afraid that you might lose your mind or that you are not able to think. You may also feel that you are not able to remember things as easily as you once did. Sometimes you become afraid of having a nervous breakdown. You also may have periods of 'crazy' thoughts that frighten you, or those thoughts ‘just pop up’ are bothersome by the content.

You fear that what you have is terminal and nobody knows. You may also fear that the chest pains are a deadly heart attack or that the shooting pains in your head are the result of a tumour or aneurysm. You feel that any one of the symptoms you experience are life threatening. You feel an intense fear when you think of dying, or you may think of it more often than normal, or can’t get it out of your mind.

You feel as though something extremely bad is going to happen but you are not sure what. You may also feel as though your world is coming to an end.

You may become afraid of something that you had normally thought was not fearful. It may be a sudden fear of being alone, a fear of inanimate objects moving or talking, or an unsubstantiated fear for your safety to name a few (the fear that you may hurt someone or yourself when using a household knife is common. For example: you fear that you may uncontrollably stab a child, mate or yourself when using a kitchen knife).

You may feel that now you are frightened or have fearful feelings about almost everything, even things that have no real reason to feel that way do. Even small challenges well up fear in you, and seem difficult or destined to doom or failure.


What causes this:
An over stimulated nervous system can alter our feelings, impressions, thoughts and sensations involuntarily (by itself), because it is so interconnected with the brain. In addition, high stress biology produces increased feelings of fear and anxiety as a side effect. When you couple these heightened levels of fear and anxiety with randomly altered moods and thoughts, it becomes clear how these distressing and bizarre thoughts can seem so frightening, confusing and real. Simply stated, when the brain and nervous system are stressed, they can play tricks on your perceptions.

When these symptoms first appear, they often shake the individual’s composure. Further episodes can erode their confidence leading the individual to question their sanity and stability. With the growing apprehension and concern over their questionable mental state, added anxiety increases the already high levels of stress biology which in turn produces more fear and more anxious thinking. If left unaddressed, these symptoms and the concern about them can become entrenched.

In this situation, it is important to remember that both the increased fear AND irrational thoughts are symptoms of an over stimulated nervous system. Despite how real these feelings may seem, they are false impressions caused by high stress biology. They are not signs of serious mental illness. They are symptoms only.

To remedy this, when the symptoms appear:

Recognize that these irrational fears are caused by the over stimulated nervous system and are symptoms only, not a serious mental illness.
Do your best to remain calm, since added fear only compounds the symptoms.
Thought stop or thought swap to change your self talk about what you are feeling.
Make sure you are giving your nervous system ample rest.
Accept the fact that these symptoms will come and go until your nervous system has received sufficient rest.
Remember that you have the choice on what to do with each thought that comes along. You can dismiss, change, or act on them. You do so by choice.
I know it's a long post, but it was a comfort to me, whatever helps!!!
Blessings,
Fairlight

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:35 am

abbette and Holly J, thanks for reassurance.
It's my constant mind chatter that worried me so much. Sometimes thoughts are so devoid of sense and that's so frightening. Also I mentally offence myself and my relatives with nasty words.:(

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:04 am

I have thought I had both of those as well. (multiple personalities or schizophrenia) In fact I even visited a web site for people with split personalities after I was really upset one day and wrote a long journal entry from the perspective of being like a child. My counselor was extremely pleased when he read it, but had to reel me in on the multiple personality bit. LOL

The thing for me . . . just like those of us that have medical phobias, is to try and get an opinion you trust and then BELIEVE THEM. I've been told I don't have any of those things. . . and I just have to keep reminding myself. However sometimes I wonder if I stop fearing the "crazy" thing, will I start thinking I'm sick? LOL Nahhhhh

I had a coach I was working with and we lost touch. I want to gt back with her because we were making a lot of progress and she was convincing me I WAS NOT crazy.

And for the period where I could talk back to my thoughts directly stating the FACT that I WAS NOT CRAZY I felt 99.9% better. It was SOOOO AWESOME. Unfortunately (this is going to sound weird) I started feeling SOO happy and SOOO UP about it, that some doubts crept in that maybe I was bipolar. grrr. . . .

I know I'm not bipolar, I've had that discussion too, but I need to work my way back to the believing it all the way through again. Today is a good day so it seems silly. But at times that doubt creeps back.

I got an email from someone today that helped me a lot. I didn't get permission to publish it so let me just say this. . .he doesn't believe in trying to control thoughts at all because everyone has intrusive thoughts. The main focus should be on just not giving so much weight to the thoughts themselves.

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:24 pm

Hi, Fairlight and Chris!
Many thanks for your posts.
Everything seems so logical when you calm down.
I had two good days, but today I fell so low again. I'm in a deep DP nad DR at the moment.
After two peaceful days, the scary, violent thoughts are back again :(.
I done this to me by a stupid fear of an operation year ago. I was so stressed and terrified and was thinking of it on and off.
And after mounts I've got many anxiety symptoms-racing heart, difficulty breathing,
tight band around my head, blurred vision,
trembling, sweating, difficulty swallowing and almost every symptom of anxiety. Then came fear of dying and full panic attacks. I was going through awful depression and insomnia. But nothing is more damned than scary thoughts and these constant doubts. Sometimes I think that my anxiety will never go and that I'll have to live with this condition forever:(.
But on the other hand, maybe I'm on my way to recovery after I had some good days. I'm so confused right now...
How do you feel today guys?

Craw
Posts: 118
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2001 3:00 am

Post by Craw » Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:22 am

I know what you mean as far as things seeming logical when you calm down. So, of course you have to try and remember to keep yourself calm, by doing the breathing and such.

I was having some of the foggy brain stuff yesterday but I just decided to accept it and the day went pretty well.

Yesterday was stressful because my brother called me from rehab crying. He's been in and out his whole life and now they have told him he has to stay in the treatment center for a year and do counseling like 2x a day plus meetings. He's feeling sorry for himself right now and he got me crying too. I've never really had a huge drinking problem, but hearing him talk about how he can't seem to get his S^&* together reminded me of how I feel sometimes. We know what to do to stay healthy, and I've gone for periods when I feel great for weeks. . .then the old habits come back. And, once I let myself entertain those thoughts, they just keep getting worse.

The truth is that everyone has scary thoughts and according to what I've learned through this program and another I've been doing, you will always have thoughts that pop into your head that are scary. The thing is how you react to them. If you just go "whatever" and blow them off, then it only ruined the moment, not your whole day or your whole week.

The book "Freedom from Fear" talks about the medical reasons for feeling DP and DR and how it is two things inside your body adrenaline and endorphins. These chemicals are intended to make you ready for battle as you know. . . and when you're not in battle they just make you feel sort of weird. These days when I feel fuzzy I remind myself that I apparently have made myself release some of one of these, and if I just relax, it will wear off within 30 minutes or so . . . if I keep worrying about it, my body just keeps squirting more adrenaline throughout the day. He describes it as someone wanting to stay drunk all day. You have to keep drinking. In this case, you are adding more adrenaline to your body over and over by your thoughts.

The truth is that if you learn to manage your thoughts and calm yourself down, you won't feel like this forever. Yes, you will have your moments and days, but it doesn't have to ruin your life.

I almost got into a panic attack last night because I got over heated and my thoughts started to race, and then I reminded myself about the weekend when I ended up having a PA. But I'm happy to say I managed to calm myself down and it only lasted a few minutes. I kept telling myself to breath and think calm thoughts and wait for 15 minutes and it would be over. . . the adrenaline wears off if you dont' keep adding fuel to the fire. And, I was fine. . .I then hung out with hubby and got to bed and today I'm fine.

I used to have more scary thoughts than I do now. I used to be afraid of knives and hurting someone. Once I finally accepted that it was just a thought and that there was no way in the world I'd act on it. . . they went away. If you were going to act on those thoughts they wouldn't bother you so much. That is proof that they are really just thoughts.

Keep us posted; hope today is better for you.
Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
~John F. Kennedy

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:28 am

ready
Hi Chris and thanks for reply.

So sorry for your brother.:(

I haven't read "Freedom from Fear" but I waiting for "Brain Lock Book" to arrive. Here, in Bulgaria we don't have any books about OCD.

I try to accept my scary thoughts, despite they
increased, but I'm doing well. I know that recovery it's one step forward, two steps back.
I want to learn to be more constant and patient.

Regards!
Gery

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:37 am

Hi Megun,
OCD is the worst, isn't it? I know what you're going through. The doubting is the hardest part. You think you must be losing it because "normal" people wouldn't think like that. Your mind thinks of the worst possible things and you go over them again and again looking for answers, trying to figure it all out and what it means. I just wrote a long post in the OCD forum because I'm dealing with the same thing. Keep your chin up - you can get through this! I heard from a book we are some of the strongest people (anxiety sufferers) because of what we put ourselves through again and again and come out the other side!

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