RE: Horrible thoughts
Ok, I need help!!! Please. I am having problems with these thoughts that wont go away. They are so scary, thoughts of what if I hurt my kids and what makes people do it. And when i tell myself that I am not gonna do it and I love my kids, my thoughts say just try and see if you would. It is like they spiral off of each other. To make it worse my period is getting ready to come on and so I am aggitated and depressed and extremely anxious. My mind is racing and wont stop. I can feel the adrenaline rush and the fear in the pit of my stomach. I am nauseated and very scared. I thought I was all better and then a week ago, I made the mistake of watching a movie about a guy losing touch with reality and that started it then i saw the news where a man killed his three kids and BAM!!!!! tht triggered it full blown and I have been a wreck ever sice. . . HELP!!!!! PLEASE!!!! Ps and please if u dont have anything positive to say, just keep it to yourself, thanks, I am not trying to step on the toes of others I just need positive right now!!! HELP HELP HELP HELP
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Chief Crazy Horse
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:16 am
Sounds like OCD for sure, what do you think? Many of us suffer from it and HATE it! WE do make progress and stumble again, just remember that it's ok to look back and see how far we've come. One day at a time, better yet one tick (clock) at a time, it will pass eventually, yes it will, butcha ya gotta keep keepen on. God Bless...
Last edited by Chief Crazy Horse on Wed Nov 11, 2009 10:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
dear chrit,
i don't know if this will help you or not, but i was where you are about a month ago. i don't know if or where you are in the program, but i am on session 3. i also started taking zoloft about four weeks ago. just after i started taking my meds, i went to church on a sunday evening. my preacher, with the best of intention, stopped me and warned me about medicine (it can change your personality, if your husband starts to irritate you, etc.). that night, when the lights went off the thoughts started and they would not stop. what if you could be one of those people who could kill your husband, or the worst case scenario (as those of us with anxiety have such a talent for imagining) what if i could hurt my kids. i was seriously to the point where i wanted to go lock their bedroom doors to protect them from me--should the "zombie" me take over or if i flipped out. i even told my husband what was happening with me, even though i feared what he might think, so that he might keep an eye on me and stop me. it was awful, truely. that is why i ordered the program as a matter of fact.
the session 1 cd helped me tremendously. there is a woman on there who spoke of not wanting to give her young son a bath because she was afraid that she might go crazy and drown him. it was reassuring to me to know that 1.) i was not alone and 2.) that she had recovered.
if you don't have the program, you may want to consider it seriously. i have gotten those thoughts under control, but it was agony when i was having them. i know what you are going through. i am sure that you love your family and would never do harm to them. these are only thoughts, that's all, thoughts. i can't say that it was the program or the meds, but i know that i now have relief.
if i can help you in any way, feel free to contact me. you will be ok. i wish you luck.
sincerely,
melissa
i don't know if this will help you or not, but i was where you are about a month ago. i don't know if or where you are in the program, but i am on session 3. i also started taking zoloft about four weeks ago. just after i started taking my meds, i went to church on a sunday evening. my preacher, with the best of intention, stopped me and warned me about medicine (it can change your personality, if your husband starts to irritate you, etc.). that night, when the lights went off the thoughts started and they would not stop. what if you could be one of those people who could kill your husband, or the worst case scenario (as those of us with anxiety have such a talent for imagining) what if i could hurt my kids. i was seriously to the point where i wanted to go lock their bedroom doors to protect them from me--should the "zombie" me take over or if i flipped out. i even told my husband what was happening with me, even though i feared what he might think, so that he might keep an eye on me and stop me. it was awful, truely. that is why i ordered the program as a matter of fact.
the session 1 cd helped me tremendously. there is a woman on there who spoke of not wanting to give her young son a bath because she was afraid that she might go crazy and drown him. it was reassuring to me to know that 1.) i was not alone and 2.) that she had recovered.
if you don't have the program, you may want to consider it seriously. i have gotten those thoughts under control, but it was agony when i was having them. i know what you are going through. i am sure that you love your family and would never do harm to them. these are only thoughts, that's all, thoughts. i can't say that it was the program or the meds, but i know that i now have relief.
if i can help you in any way, feel free to contact me. you will be ok. i wish you luck.
sincerely,
melissa
Hello Chrit.
I use to have the exact same scary thought. It is the most frightening thing that a person can think of. But as lucinda says in the program - you will not do those things. If you were going to do something like that, you would have already done it.
You should stop waatching the news and strange or scary movies for now. When you get better you'll be more able to handle the mental tests that these kinds of programs tend to put you up to.
At times like this you need to distract yourself immediately and use your positive self talk. You have to disassociate and disconnect yourself from the people you see doing terrible things on the news. They are not you and they are not like you. You will never do those things. You are a good parent.
Call someone positive on the phone, do some house work, put on some music and try to dance, get out a funny movie and watch it, or anything fun that will take your mind off of the scary moment.
I use to have the exact same scary thought. It is the most frightening thing that a person can think of. But as lucinda says in the program - you will not do those things. If you were going to do something like that, you would have already done it.
You should stop waatching the news and strange or scary movies for now. When you get better you'll be more able to handle the mental tests that these kinds of programs tend to put you up to.
At times like this you need to distract yourself immediately and use your positive self talk. You have to disassociate and disconnect yourself from the people you see doing terrible things on the news. They are not you and they are not like you. You will never do those things. You are a good parent.
Call someone positive on the phone, do some house work, put on some music and try to dance, get out a funny movie and watch it, or anything fun that will take your mind off of the scary moment.
sorry, i don't know what happened to my last message. i had also meant to tell you that i have always been a fan of horror movies, but i may have to give them up. my last serious anxiety attack was after i watched a movie that was not even that scary--it had some graphic imagery in it though. i replayed those images all night long. i hope that someday i can watch them again, but whatever i need to do is what i will do. good luck and god bless!!
melissa
melissa
Dear Chrit
Please know you are not alone. I too have had these terrible thoughts. Remember THOUGHTS ONLY
THOUGHTS. Repeat that to yourself over and over
People that have anxiety are wonderful people.
You are a wonderful caring person. Tell yourself
this over and over. Get a notebook and write it down. Write down " I am a good person. These are
just silly thoughts." Trust me from someone who
has dealt with these thoughts it will get better. Keep going through the program. It will be the best thing you could do for yourself and your family. Remember IT'S JUST ANXIETY ITS NO BIG DEAL. Although I know it feels huge now. It will get better. It has always been comfort to me to know other people have felt the way I have and they have recovered and you will too.
If I can help in anyway, that's what we are here for. YOUR FRIEND ANGLA
Please know you are not alone. I too have had these terrible thoughts. Remember THOUGHTS ONLY
THOUGHTS. Repeat that to yourself over and over
People that have anxiety are wonderful people.
You are a wonderful caring person. Tell yourself
this over and over. Get a notebook and write it down. Write down " I am a good person. These are
just silly thoughts." Trust me from someone who
has dealt with these thoughts it will get better. Keep going through the program. It will be the best thing you could do for yourself and your family. Remember IT'S JUST ANXIETY ITS NO BIG DEAL. Although I know it feels huge now. It will get better. It has always been comfort to me to know other people have felt the way I have and they have recovered and you will too.
If I can help in anyway, that's what we are here for. YOUR FRIEND ANGLA
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Charlie Brown
- Posts: 442
- Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2006 2:56 pm
chrit,
I am so sorry you are going through this. It definitely sounds like scary obsessive thoughts, otherwise known as pure O OCD. My best friend went through this seven years ago. The "victim" was his wife and then himself. He went through the same things you're going through, especially with the movies. Around that time A Beautiful Mind came out and he worried he was becoming schizophrenic. He was so scared he avoided looking at movie posters/ads for the Russell Crowe flick.
Please know he has never ever tried to hurt his wife or himself. They're still married and in love even more.
Here is a link that can help:
<A HREF="http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... &id=231502" TARGET=_blank>http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... =231502</A>
My friend went for ERP treatment for the obsessions. This is where you are repeatedly exposed to the thought and, essentially, get bored of it. With the help of trained therapist, he recorded his scary images and listened to them over and over. He also held a sharp object to his wrists. He soon overcame the obsessions but the treatment is very, very rough (as you might can tell). He cried and got a little depressed sometimes but he made through it.
Defintely avoid the news and scary flicks for a while.
Do you have therapist? One who is trained in pure O OCD?
I am so sorry you are going through this. It definitely sounds like scary obsessive thoughts, otherwise known as pure O OCD. My best friend went through this seven years ago. The "victim" was his wife and then himself. He went through the same things you're going through, especially with the movies. Around that time A Beautiful Mind came out and he worried he was becoming schizophrenic. He was so scared he avoided looking at movie posters/ads for the Russell Crowe flick.
Please know he has never ever tried to hurt his wife or himself. They're still married and in love even more.
Here is a link that can help:
<A HREF="http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... &id=231502" TARGET=_blank>http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... =231502</A>
My friend went for ERP treatment for the obsessions. This is where you are repeatedly exposed to the thought and, essentially, get bored of it. With the help of trained therapist, he recorded his scary images and listened to them over and over. He also held a sharp object to his wrists. He soon overcame the obsessions but the treatment is very, very rough (as you might can tell). He cried and got a little depressed sometimes but he made through it.
Defintely avoid the news and scary flicks for a while.
Do you have therapist? One who is trained in pure O OCD?
Thankyou to everyone. You guys are all great. Oh how I wish we all lived in the same neighborhood and could get together and laugh at this junk. Thanks for everyone being so nice. I need to kick myself in the butt and get my program out again, i just get my mind going so fast that I dont even think about it, I dwell on it. Now my thing is, OH poor me, is there and end to this, am I gonna be like this forever....But you all help so much and I have to stay positve. Also, Charlie thnks alot, As far as a therapist that specializes in OCD... I cant seem to find one that takes my medicaid and terrified to try cause last time I did, they threw me in a real crisis center with the mentally ill and they scared the crap out of me (really dont want to talk about it, it scares me) My old therapist said that I have post traumatic stress ( Ok sorry for all my grammar mistakes, lol) and that most of my thoughts and fears come from what happened when I was in there. OMG, that was the most scarriest thing that I have ever been through. So with all this rambling again I say thanks. Thanks to all for helping, I wish you were my neighbor!!!!!!!! Christi
OMG! You are def not alone I have negative thoughts about my baby too - I mean CRAZY ones I've had the same as you when your mind says "just try it and see what it's like" really crazy thoughts so bad I am embarassed to type. My advice don't watch the news or movies about bad people. You are not them you just have OCD.