I know it's not enough to hear from others that you will not hurt your daughter but the truth is you won't hurt her. Start to use your thought stoppage. Shout STOP in your mind. Then use your calm breath. Breathe in slowly. hold for 4 counts. Then breathe out slowly through pursed lips. (As often as you need to.) Comfort yourself by reminding yourself that you will not hurt her. The thoughts make you uncomfortable because you react to them. It seems hard to not react to such garbage but that's exactly what it is - garbage!!!!
When you can, stop talking back to these thoughts and just start watching them come and go without your attachment to them. It takes practice so do the best you can and be patient. Be with your daughter as often as possible as this will help to confirm for you that you will not hurt her.
Why do we have thoughts like this? The only answer I know is that this is the way the phobic mind operates. It comes up with all thoughts imaginable. (Other "ordinary" people have thoughts like this as well but they don't attach to them. They see that the thoughts are not who they are and dismiss them immediately.) It's up to us to remind ourselves that we can allow all thoughts to just come and go, in and out. They are only thin air. We know we aren't what our thoughts are saying. So practice underreacting to them over and over and over again. "It's just my OCD mind. Nothing more. These thoughts have no power over me. I am in complete control." Plus, thoughts do not trigger action.
Breathe into your feelings. And, it's OK to tell that scare voice to shut up, too. Be firm with it. (Don't argue with it anymore. That just keeps it coming back.) Just tell it to knock it off!
ocd thoughts ra escaring the crap out of me!
You know I have had these thoughts and it is tormenting. I have had the thoughts about my kids, and other kids. they scare scare me, THEY MORTIFY ME. I hate them but I learned that the more power you give them the worse they get. I try to remember during those times the saying - "what you resist persists, what you look at fades away." in other words, acknowledge them and recognize them for what they are a B.S. thought that means nothing.
My thoughts tha have bothered me have all ranged in the realm of against my beliefs and morality. Not saying they are all immoral but against mine. I have had thoughts of being gay, of harming children, or harming myself, you name it they have tormented me at different times. I have taken zoloft for about a year and a half and while I think it has helped me relax, it hasn't alleviated the thoughts. what i have learned since the initial "meltdown" and panic has helped me alleviate them. it is getting fewer and far between dealing with them. recently they have bothered me more than the past 5 months or so. that is probably why I am posting right now. posting is like therapy. seeing it on the screen lets me see the ridiculours nature of it all. that doesn't dismiss the "torment" but it helps to see the bigger picture.
talking to my wife even though it is embarassing at times also helps and she has been super undertanding and supportive during times of struggle. I suggest you get a good person to talk to just to unload, find ways to distract yourself during tough times, and "float with the thoughts" even though that at times is a challenge.
Good Luck! Another saying that is comforting- "God will only give you what you can handle."
My thoughts tha have bothered me have all ranged in the realm of against my beliefs and morality. Not saying they are all immoral but against mine. I have had thoughts of being gay, of harming children, or harming myself, you name it they have tormented me at different times. I have taken zoloft for about a year and a half and while I think it has helped me relax, it hasn't alleviated the thoughts. what i have learned since the initial "meltdown" and panic has helped me alleviate them. it is getting fewer and far between dealing with them. recently they have bothered me more than the past 5 months or so. that is probably why I am posting right now. posting is like therapy. seeing it on the screen lets me see the ridiculours nature of it all. that doesn't dismiss the "torment" but it helps to see the bigger picture.
talking to my wife even though it is embarassing at times also helps and she has been super undertanding and supportive during times of struggle. I suggest you get a good person to talk to just to unload, find ways to distract yourself during tough times, and "float with the thoughts" even though that at times is a challenge.
Good Luck! Another saying that is comforting- "God will only give you what you can handle."
"I choose my thoughts. No thought, at any time, can dwell in my mind without my approval or permission."
I've been there but with different thoughts. SOmetimes I would wonder "what If"...but with something else. Like perhaps harming someone for no reason when meanwhile I won't even kill a bug! It's our mind playing tricks that all, and the fear of it is what drives it. Here is something to think about. A person who has those tendacies and acts on them is usually not concerened about it, neither do they think about it, worrying that they might do it because it is something that they want to do. If it is something that concerns you then chances are you have nothing to worry about. Think about it, the thoughts led you to stop working with children so you would protect them against you. That's not the mentality of someone who looks to harm others. Sleep well...they are nothing but thoughts of the worst things that you'd fear doing but the good news is, it isn't going to happen.
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heisthegreatphysician
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:47 pm
I am sorry you are struggeling with this? I also do. I have horrific thoughts of hurting others, myself, etc. I was in Jewle the other day, kept thinking WHAT IF i stabbed someone....I was losing it! I was so scared. Eveyone was smiling at me and i could think was, I HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I HURT SOMEONE, WHAT IF MY THOUGHTS BECOME ACTIONS, I NEED TO PROTECT EVERYONE FROM ME....Then thought, if everyone knew what i was thinking they wouldn't be smiling at me...I was so sad and started to cry. I NEVER WANT TO HURT ANYONE OR MYSELF. ANY ADVICE, PLEASE?
What if your thoughts DON'T BECOME ACTIONS.....You need to start reframing. Start to rephrase your thoughts and don't run anywhere. Stay where you are and prove to yourself that you will not hurt anyone! You already have proof of that, you know. Do you have a history of killing anyone? Everytime you get that thought, smile. Just smile and say, "oh, goodie, I've been waiting for this thought (or these thoughts)". And, just keep smiling. Use your breath work and breathe deeply through the thoughts. Use your thought stoppage. STOP! Focus on your breathing. Notice your breath in and out. Keep up with this practice. Desensitize to that scare voice of yours.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold
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heisthegreatphysician
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:47 pm
I know this is hard to believe but they won't go away because you "want them to go away". When you fight (resist) the thoughts keep coming back. You are arguing with them and arguing keeps them coming back. I'm not saying it's easy. I know it's not easy but once you grasp the concept, once you TEST the exercises given you will get a glimpse of what continued practice will do for you. It's not about being brave. It's about being good and tired of being run by something that is not real - your thoughts - thin air. It's about you taking your life back again, and it starts right here with being willing to feel the anxiety (which is temporary) from working on yourself.
Persevere. Don't give up. You can do this and you can handle the anxious feelings. Have you purchased Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Liebgold? Good book. It's a great guide to follow for obsessive scary thinking.
Keep us posted.
Persevere. Don't give up. You can do this and you can handle the anxious feelings. Have you purchased Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Liebgold? Good book. It's a great guide to follow for obsessive scary thinking.
Keep us posted.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold
So, I have not been on this site for a while because my horrible thoughts have been under control. I strayed away because if I stayed and read then I would start to think!!! GO FIGURE! Anyways, yesterday I watched a movie about a man tht lost touch of reality after his family dies and that started it. It brought back memories of when i was mistakingly put into a ward with people with mental illnesses. Then I watched the news for a minute (which was a bad idea) then I heard of something terrible that a father did to his children......Yep, u guessed it. Here I aM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Any advice, how do I turn it offffff!????????????????????
I feel your pain chrit..and the girl who loves the great physician..I feel all your pain!!! I have been dealing with anxiety and depression on and off for about 3 years now..and it recently came back to me about 3 or 4 days ago and I just feel like giving up sometimes..but it's reassuring to know that there are plenty of others out there just like me! haha;)..well anyway I have the same completely ridiculous thoughts during my "down-time" that everyone in this forum does. I know if posts are too long, generally people won't read them..but if y'all are anything like me then you will! I'm 21..from Texas, and about to graduate college. I have a wonderful family and girlfriend and life...except I suffer seriously from OCD thoughts and depression..my first panic attack was when I was on the drug known as "shrooms" and since then one of my greatest fears is being on a drug because I do not control my mind during that time. Even prescription drugs freak me out..and I don't know what's wrong with me..then the other day I was watching a TV show..and someone slipped some drugs in another's drink..and I completely freaked out. What if someone did that to me? What if I lost control and didn't know it and freaked out on a drug and died...or killed someone else? These thoughts may seem ridiculous to some, but they scare me so badly I can't sleep at night..I even have to force myself to eat and drink..I know these thoughts are unlikely and very improbable, but they terrify me, and I have no idea how to deal with it..even after I do eat..lol my brain makes me feel weird and I'm convinced I'm drugged..it's the most irrational fear I've ever had but it's consuming my life..I'm afraid to even live at the moment..I need help!
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heisthegreatphysician
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:47 pm
PGood21....
oh dear God, you are a lot like me...The pain of the thoughts feel as if I have actually acted on them...It terrifies me as well...I had a horrible day today, Woke up with the thought of WHAT IF I HURT MYSELF????? I woke up out of a sound sleep, dropped to the floor on my knees and cried out to GOD...Please, Lord, Please, Help me, please don't ever let me act on an evil thought....It's as if i was convinced that i was going to hurt myself...EVERYTHING felt so real, and then i thought, oh Gosh, this must mean i am going to do this, WHAT IF I LOSE CONTROL and can't stop myself...The truth is in my heart that I don't want to die....I'm afraid to live but afraid to die.....Especially by the "S" word....i try to tell the thought to go away, but it continues non-stop to come...and if it does leave for a moment, something else comes in to obsess about...I FEL CHRONIC ANXIETY! If i try and welcome the thought in,again,my body tenses up and I react the the thought with such FEAR that it consumes me and drains me....My heart hurts, my mind hurts, my body hurts and my SPIRIT also.....I am sorry you are struggling too...You stated that your thoughts started after shrroms, well mine started after an SSRI that i tried 8 months back, although i have been off the med also for months, i still struggle with the thoughts of the wonderful "WHAT IF'S"....I feel your pain! Hopinmg that we will be delivered from this awful demon that is trying to destroy us! I need help as well...Take Care and Blessings to you!
Patricia
oh dear God, you are a lot like me...The pain of the thoughts feel as if I have actually acted on them...It terrifies me as well...I had a horrible day today, Woke up with the thought of WHAT IF I HURT MYSELF????? I woke up out of a sound sleep, dropped to the floor on my knees and cried out to GOD...Please, Lord, Please, Help me, please don't ever let me act on an evil thought....It's as if i was convinced that i was going to hurt myself...EVERYTHING felt so real, and then i thought, oh Gosh, this must mean i am going to do this, WHAT IF I LOSE CONTROL and can't stop myself...The truth is in my heart that I don't want to die....I'm afraid to live but afraid to die.....Especially by the "S" word....i try to tell the thought to go away, but it continues non-stop to come...and if it does leave for a moment, something else comes in to obsess about...I FEL CHRONIC ANXIETY! If i try and welcome the thought in,again,my body tenses up and I react the the thought with such FEAR that it consumes me and drains me....My heart hurts, my mind hurts, my body hurts and my SPIRIT also.....I am sorry you are struggling too...You stated that your thoughts started after shrroms, well mine started after an SSRI that i tried 8 months back, although i have been off the med also for months, i still struggle with the thoughts of the wonderful "WHAT IF'S"....I feel your pain! Hopinmg that we will be delivered from this awful demon that is trying to destroy us! I need help as well...Take Care and Blessings to you!
Patricia