really scared of the feelings

Candiandricky · Post by **Candiandricky** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:57 am

Hi,
Ok, so about 6 years ago I had feelings that I might be falling out of love with my husband

. Where those feelings came from I don't know, but they eventually went away.

We had tried to have a baby for 3 years and finally out of the blue we got pregnant. I am so scared because I don't feel that connection with my unborn baby and I am starting to question myself of Is this really what I want? Am I going to be a good mother? Etc.

The part that scares me the most is that when I first got pregnant I was feeling the feelings that I would die for my baby and I don't feel those feelings anymore. I am so scared about this.. Please help....

Jessica1787 · Post by **Jessica1787** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:09 am

not being a lady i can not relate but i will keep you and your husband and your unborn child that GOD will help you too feel a conection wit hyour baby..they are so precious and i love to watch them grow..being a grand dad and grand mom is one of the best things that could ever happen to a person..i wish you the best of luck..keep a positive attitude and i know that you will be just fine..
you are your husband get together and sit and talk and lt him know that you are scared. he is probaby as scared as you are..i remember that when my son was born i was overseas and i had morning sickness lol.

.i did not know what it was until i went to the dr lol..oh well it went away after my daughter was born...she is now 37 and i love her so much...you will as well..GOD BLESS...keep in touch and let me know how you are doing if its ok...talk to you later.
don

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:29 am

I kind of had some of those feelings at first then right after I had my daughter and held her for the first time it was such an amazing feeling. I went through the I don't know if I can do this to oh my goodness will I be able to make it through the delivery, to what if I dont connect with her. I had all of these what if feelings and let me tell you when I first felt my daughter kick and I realized that it was an actual child that God have me it helped me to connect. Trust me when your baby is born then all the things that you are feeling will all go away. When you see the ultrasound and see your baby you will feel differently. I love my daughter more than anything and she tells me all the time that I am a wonderful mom. So I guess most everyone with their first child feels this way and after 3 years I can see how it is a surprise to you. God gives us a baby when he wants us to have it, I know that all to well. Don't worry God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle and if you wanted this then you will want it now. Don't allow satan to conrol your anxiety because that is all it is. God bless you and don't worry others have felt the same as you do and they love their children with all their hearts and they have been wonderful parents! God bless you and that new baby!

Jennifier

Terag · Post by **Terag** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:30 am

Keep faith. It is a scary thing mother hood I have no children yet with my husband, but I can offer some advice from a nursing point of view. These feelings are not abnormal you wanted something for so long, and then you get it, and its a shock to you. You have all these hormones running through you now, you need to slow down focus on taking care of yourself listen to the tapes you will feel that connection . As for the husband thing I can realte todays my 2nd anniversery, and just 6 mths ago I was ready to call it quits, because he was different and so was I. I had asked to go to marriage counseling several times before with him, but he said no. Then when I yelled out I want a divorce he asked to do marriage counseling, so we are going and we are learning to love each other agian and learning how to communicate with each other. I reccomend counseling, if you don't want o then you need to get a book called the five love languages by Gary Chapman read it then have ur husband read it it is an awsome book. you will learn your love languages as well as his. I don't know if this helped any but if you need to talk just keep in touch
Nervousmervous

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 4:47 pm

Don't worry this is something that even Mom's without OCD and Panic disorders worry about. It's hard to imagine how much you can love your own child and we all worry that we may fall short. I have found that my children have been a tremendous motivation for me to get mentally healthy. It may make you feel better to talk to your Doctor about how you feel. I know it's hard to be honest about your thoughts but he can help.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 5:13 pm

Are you taking any medication? when I was on paxil and welbrutin I had the same feeling. I think some meds might take away our ability to feel!!!!!

luv cats · Post by **luv cats** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 12:48 am

Hey Canadian:

I just went through a similar issue with my boyfriend. And, like you with your husband, I eventually got over it. What Lucinda says in first two sessions is very true. Our thoughts create our feelings, even if we're not conscious of them.

I suspect that you're afraid that you won't love your new baby. This is then setting you up to analyze every way you feel and, if you're not brimming with love every second, you get obsessed with it.

I'm sure you're a great mom and will love your new baby as much as anyone can.

Hugs,

living_4_the-future · Post by **living_4_the-future** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:57 am

Christian73,
You hit the nail on the head. I am so scared because I kinda feel that love deep down inside, but it does not feel as strong anymore. I thought that it would be ok when I seen the sonogram, but I was not emotional at all. I thought that I would cry, but I did not. I did the same thing at my wedding, and it bothered me to no end. I am having a very very very hard time learning how to accept the thoughts, and not let the feelings bother me. I don't know if I am doing the coping skills right or not. I am on the 2nd cd now and I listen to it every day.