Past

boombie71 · Post by **boombie71** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:20 am

Does anyone obsess over questionable choices they made in the past. I never really concerned myself with this issue until my anxiety disorder began to become obsessive. Now all i think about are three specific events that happened over a decade ago. They didn't bother me then because i did what i had to do so why do i obsess over my choices now. I think about it all day long. probably 1,000 times. I do practice exposure with a therapist but I feel like I'm stuck and I'm starting to become very depressed.

cevans · Post by **cevans** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:12 am

I've been obsessive for many years with choices from the past. The key for me is to disconnect the choice of the person then and the person now. Shoulda, coulda, woulda will kill you just as fast as what if will. If you cannot make peace with those decisions, you will not be able to move forward. I've found that positive self-talk is the way to combat the lasting effects. Hope this helps a little.

boombie71 · Post by **boombie71** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:35 am

I wish it was so simple as should of? would of? I'm beating myself that I am a terrible person. I know i was young and stupid and I also know that many people have done the same things. The thing that bothers me is that I was fine for years. I went on with life married, have a beautiful child, great job.. Then suddenly panic attacks, to anxiety to pure o. I was looking for a reason for my anxiety and pure O. I mean why would I think I would hurt my precious child? After a few months of suffering I decided that my past must be the reason why I have these problems. Like I'm being punished for my misdeeds.
I'm very scared that I will never stop obsessing. My anxiety is not so bad but the obsessions they rule my mind. It's like the loser that follows me around daily.What i would give to go to sleep with peace of mind.

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:23 am

We all have a voice in us that wants to take us into the past and it also wants to predict the future. It does not want you to be present because keeping yourself present (in the present moment) would be "its" demise. Try to see this. You don't have to go into the past just because the past comes up for you all the time. The reason it does this is because you fight it. You resist it. If you just allowed it to come and go without your resistance to it and without your attachment to it in anyway, you wouldn't hear from it very often anymore and when you did it would be easy to just dismiss it.

Practice just allowing your thoughts to come and go as they please. If you need to you can just say, "Oh there you are again." And, just continue to let it babble until one day you notice it's not babbling so much anymore. Or just say to it: "Whatever." And then get on with your day.

Make it oK for your thoughts to come and go. You won't be haunted by them so much if you do that.

boombie71 · Post by **boombie71** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:19 am

I have been trying exactly what you said. I have been going on with my life trying to be as “normal” as possible. Yet it continues to come up. For the last two months I have tried so hard to continue being myself yet I feel no relief not even for a half hour. I am considering taking medication because I’m not sure how long I can last like this! I really want to believe it will end but when?

problemattic · Post by **problemattic** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:35 am

Hey, Boombie. I hate my meds, but they have helped me to focus on the program and get the most out of it. I've heard people say that once you start taking anxiety/depression medication, you're stuck with it forever. Not true. I have been able to ease off of some of mine with success. I don't consider my medication as a crutch, but a tool. That tool has been useful to me, and has given me a break from constant anxiety in the past, so I can concentrate on learning. It didn't solve my problems...it helped me to begin solving them. I needed it. Maybe you don't and won't, but I think it's always worth looking into. I am only expressing my personal opinion here. I trust you will do what you feel is best in your situation, and that your decision will be a sound one. Best of luck. I hope you will post updates! - Donna

boombie71 · Post by **boombie71** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:59 am

It's not the anxiety that upsets me. It is pretty much under control. It's my obsessing that doesn't stop! That is what I would go on meds for.

bna · Post by **bna** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:02 am

Hi I just had to respond when I saw your post. I have had anxiety for many years . I have completed the program but have recently restarted to work on a few things I didn;t get the first time around.

I can definietly relate to this. I notice when my anxiety increase for what ever reason so does my obessive thinking especially about the past. I have wasted precious time worrying and obessing over things that can neverbe changed. I keep playing the past over and over analysing and studying it hoping it will change somehow.

I caught myself obessing over stupid mistakes I had made in the past at work, what must people thought of me, how crazy I must have seemed etc. etc..

I must have been thinking this way for a little bit before I realzied I was starting to have a panic attack. I imeediately started to focus on my breathing and started with the + self talk and got busy whcih did help.

Obessive thinking about the past is difficult to break but I believe you can do it beacuse I was able to. Yes it is depressing but you can do this. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Somewhere on this web site I think under obessive thinking forum there are some reallly great suggestions/affirmations you can repeat to yourself when you begin to notice your obessing. Also just keeping working at your skills. Soon you will begin to feel so much better.

Take care and God Bless.

bna · Post by **bna** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:20 am

I can so relate to obessing about the past and mistakes I had made. Before I started the program I remembered wasting comsiderable time doing just this. Obessing and ruminating for hours trying to analyse and change the past.

With the help of this program and the valuable skills I have learned I am so much better. If you give it a chance so will you. I belive you can over come it. Yes, obessive thinking is depressing and it stinks.

Just this morning I caught myslef obessing over the past, (16 years ago), about mistakes I made at work, what people must have thought of me, how crazed I must have been, how people must have disliked working with me etc,etc.

I didn't realize I was obessing until I statred to have some panicky feelings. I immediately started to focus on breathing, started with +self talk, got busy and guess what it passed.

If you get a chnace visit the obessive thinking forum there are some great tips/suggestions/affirmations that will help you when you are having a difficult time. You can overcome this. Please keep us updated on your proress. Take care and God Bless.

Admin_1 · Post by **Admin_1** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:34 am

bna, I removed 1 of your double posts for you and not to worry it happens to all of us at some point. Have a good day. Admin