Do you ever think you're losing your sanity?
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brandonmississippi
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:39 pm
This is a serious question. My name is Brandon, and i'm 21 yrs. old. I have had emotional problems my whole life. To start off, I had brain surgury as a baby. That left me with a different looking face than everyone else. I was teased about it nearly everyday of my childhood life, all the way up til finishing high school. I also had terret's syndrome, and of course the ocd. Not to mention the most serious case of social anxiety. I suffered serious mental abuse, and was suicidal at age 13. By age 17 I found a way to escape, and that was with drugs. First drug I tried was gasoline. I loved the smell of it, and one day, not trying to get high off of it, I sniffed some and blacked out. I hallucinated off of it every day for a long time, until I almost died from it. Plus I got into alcohol. marijuana, cocaine, painkillers, and ecstasy. I'm lucky to be alive after some of the stuff i've done. I've been sober for 2 yrs. next week. I just wonder if anyone else can relate to my situation. I think i'm on the verge of losing my sanity. The deep obsessive thinking, and questioning of every single thing you can imagine is driving me crazy. Wondering what right and wrong really is, thinking of harming my animals, which I love, and random acts of evil just always pop into my head. It makes me sick. I feel so screwed up mentally.
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bloodbrotherdan
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 2:34 pm
Hi Brandon,
I agree with Mrs T Bones. I have not suffered from the same things you have experienced but do have many of my own battles dealing with evil or wrong thinking. When Jesus died on that cross, He died for ALL of your sins. God loves you and desires a relationship with you - the ONLY way to be able to do that is to come through His Son. He will meet you right now where you are. Just believe in Him, ask Him for forgiveness of your sins and receive the gift of salvation through His sacrifice on that cross. He wants to take away all of those things that hurt you and plague you - He can do it!
I agree with Mrs T Bones. I have not suffered from the same things you have experienced but do have many of my own battles dealing with evil or wrong thinking. When Jesus died on that cross, He died for ALL of your sins. God loves you and desires a relationship with you - the ONLY way to be able to do that is to come through His Son. He will meet you right now where you are. Just believe in Him, ask Him for forgiveness of your sins and receive the gift of salvation through His sacrifice on that cross. He wants to take away all of those things that hurt you and plague you - He can do it!
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brandonmississippi
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:39 pm
All good stuff posted, I would add, keep doing your program. I don't know what session you are in, but I am in 9. One of those deals with obsessive thoughts with great ways to help. Keep practicing to positive thoughts, live in the now, present. Block those bad thinking habits, its hard but it does get easier as you do little things more and more. Go to bed at night being thankful and say what your thankful for. Wake up and do the same. I know it has helped me. 
Prayer always works too!!! 
Prayer always works too!!! Brandon -
Prayer is a good thing and I use it too in my recovery. However, if you were looking for other options I have a few thoughts for you.
With anxiety conditions feeling like you're going crazy or losing your mind is very, very common. For panic attacks, it's often the second most common fear with fear of dying being the most common. So you're not alone in your fears but you can almost be guaranteed that it's just a fear and not a reality. In general, insane people don't recognize that they're insane. So the fact that you're worried is a good sign.
Remember that thoughts are not actions. Since you are not actually acting out the fears you are obsessing over, then they are only obsessive thoughts. Typically, you are only obsessing about them because they scare you. I suppose that's a good thing in a way because that shows you don't really want to follow through.
If you can get to a point where you recognize that they are only random thoughts and that they aren't going to come true just because they popped into your head then they become less frightening. Once you stop being afraid of them, then they tend to go away. It's a cycle of fear and thought and once you break the fear the cycle ends.
I'll repeat what we learned on the card for Session 10 because I think it's so valuable (although I'm editorializing the comment portions a bit):
1) NOTICE - Catch and recognize the scary, negative thoughts as quickly as you can.
2) ACCEPT - Thoughts are only that, not actions.
3) INTERRUPT - Break the thought cycle. This is the hardest but most important part. Try thinking "STOP - I'm not going to continue with this train of thought."
4) LET GO - Allow yourself to let go of the thought without judgment.
5) DISTRACT - Occupy your mind with more pleasant and positive ideas and images. Get busy with other things.
I hope this helps,
Jamie
Prayer is a good thing and I use it too in my recovery. However, if you were looking for other options I have a few thoughts for you.
With anxiety conditions feeling like you're going crazy or losing your mind is very, very common. For panic attacks, it's often the second most common fear with fear of dying being the most common. So you're not alone in your fears but you can almost be guaranteed that it's just a fear and not a reality. In general, insane people don't recognize that they're insane. So the fact that you're worried is a good sign.
Remember that thoughts are not actions. Since you are not actually acting out the fears you are obsessing over, then they are only obsessive thoughts. Typically, you are only obsessing about them because they scare you. I suppose that's a good thing in a way because that shows you don't really want to follow through.
If you can get to a point where you recognize that they are only random thoughts and that they aren't going to come true just because they popped into your head then they become less frightening. Once you stop being afraid of them, then they tend to go away. It's a cycle of fear and thought and once you break the fear the cycle ends.
I'll repeat what we learned on the card for Session 10 because I think it's so valuable (although I'm editorializing the comment portions a bit):
1) NOTICE - Catch and recognize the scary, negative thoughts as quickly as you can.
2) ACCEPT - Thoughts are only that, not actions.
3) INTERRUPT - Break the thought cycle. This is the hardest but most important part. Try thinking "STOP - I'm not going to continue with this train of thought."
4) LET GO - Allow yourself to let go of the thought without judgment.
5) DISTRACT - Occupy your mind with more pleasant and positive ideas and images. Get busy with other things.
I hope this helps,
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
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brandonmississippi
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:39 pm
Hey, thanks, you did help. I actually have not looked in to this program that you all keep mentioning. Guess I should. I'm just lazy and think everything should be given to me, I guess. I'm much more of an internet forum type of guy. I'd rather type than read. Terrible, I know. Laziness and motivation are actually some of my biggest problems right now. Wish I knew how to WANT to overcome these problems. It's like I wish I wasn't so lazy, but when I hear the word "work," it's like I get scared.
Glad I could help.
If you don't want to purchase the program, consider getting Lucinda Basset's book "From Panic to Power". It's an easy read and has much of the same information as what is included in the full Attacking and Anxiety and Depression program. Obviously the program is much more detailed but the book will get you started.
What you're calling laziness might fit under an avoidance behavior related to what the program refers to as secondary gains. Obviously we all want to get better. But there are some "advantages" to having anxiety conditions. For example, it can give some people an excuse not to do something they don't like doing such as going to a large gathering or party.
Another possibility is that you're just plain overwhelmed. You're going through a tremendous amount of emotional turmoil and its hard not to get bogged down. But when you start breaking things down into smaller pieces and tackling them one at a time then the work isn't nearly so daunting.
Jamie
If you don't want to purchase the program, consider getting Lucinda Basset's book "From Panic to Power". It's an easy read and has much of the same information as what is included in the full Attacking and Anxiety and Depression program. Obviously the program is much more detailed but the book will get you started.
What you're calling laziness might fit under an avoidance behavior related to what the program refers to as secondary gains. Obviously we all want to get better. But there are some "advantages" to having anxiety conditions. For example, it can give some people an excuse not to do something they don't like doing such as going to a large gathering or party.
Another possibility is that you're just plain overwhelmed. You're going through a tremendous amount of emotional turmoil and its hard not to get bogged down. But when you start breaking things down into smaller pieces and tackling them one at a time then the work isn't nearly so daunting.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters