The better I get the worse I get!

Friend IC · Post by **Friend IC** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:34 am

I had been pretty comfortable tucking my fears and running from them, now that I am facing them and "taking the bull by the horns" I am experiencing anxiety daily. I have had a couple of assertiveness triumphs and applaud myself. Today, I have been very angry all day because I let a friend take advantage of me once again. (I have withdrawn from her over the past year, just not the type of friend I need). Today, she asked a favor (I didn't want to do it but I said I that I would). I called and recanted but ended up feeling obligated so agreed to do the favor. I have been so stressed because of it. Next time I know that I will say no in the beginning if I don't really want to do something. It seems the harder I am trying to go against the "old" personality the more stress I experience. I believe that that will subside in time. Any advice or similar experiences from anyone else.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:26 am

Anything you attain that is worth anything is hard work. Peace with yourself is definitely worth the work. Keep your chin up.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:44 pm

Remember resolve or dissolve. Dissolve the anger and move on. Not worth getting anxious over. Stop making yourself sick.

Debbie

ronda stephens · Post by **ronda stephens** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:59 pm

i am the same way. i guess u have to start saying no sometimes, in order to get better

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:02 pm

Breathe, listen to the relaxation tape, although I know when you are worked up it is hard to sit there and try to relax, but when the negative thoughts come, tell them to STOP. Try to think of something positive. When you are upset your thoughts will keep coming back over and over and over. Just keep breathing. Think of your peaceful thing. Listen to a tape again. Try the relaxation tape some more. It is with doing these new things over and over and over again that you will finally be free. We do the bad thinking over again, why not the good thinking. Baby steps. At least you are trying. Don't beat yourself up. You can do it. You will be free.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Some days will be very good and others not so good. Pick yourself up again and start over from the beginning if you have to. JUST NEVER GIVE UP. Good luck and GOD BLESS
STILL HOPEFUL

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:02 pm

i notice that too, the better i get the worse i get, in the sense that i take a few steps forward and a step back, but i know i am improving and that the episodes are becoming less and less frequent. i too am experiencing more anxiety because i am trying to do the things i've been avoiding. it's quite difficult and some days i am tired of putting so much effort in. but it'll all be worth it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:04 pm

Hi Friend. You can always say no. It doesn't have to be when you are first asked. It can also be when you've thought about the favor and changed your mind about it. Most people are not going to like it but there are some people that will respect you more for respecting yourself and doing what you feel is best for you. At first it will be difficult and you may feel guilty but the more you stand up for yourself the easier it gets and one day the guilt will be gone.

Always do what you feel is best, first. Take care of yourself.

DeeDee.