I'd love to hear from anyone on this

[Deener]

Ok so after doing the program and grasping what I could from lesson 6 on anger, which is an emotion I have become very comfortable with throughout life, I have learned to let go of some of my "old" anger. I worked hard to do this and feel a heck of alot better having done it. Every now and then a sliver of it will flash in my mind and I may get wound up again, but not for long. The problem I am having now is anger from disappointments. I realize it all comes from my expectations, but when this sort of anger crops up, and it does so very quickly, I am caught off guard and it takes a long while for me to wind down from it. I do my best to just let it be and tell myself that it isn't worth dying for etc.. The thing is it just doesn't seem to subside until I have had a small explosion with words, that frankly makes me seem childish and immature. Now after having done this, the anger seems to melt away. I know this is not the right way to handle this. Can anyone PLEASE give me some advice or suggestions on how to just let instant anger go or to at least handle it without acting like a pre-schooler. Thanks!!

[Guest]

Deener; I too have a problem with instant anger. I also find that an outburst seems to help (sometimes even a mumble under my breath if someone is too close and I don't want to offend them). I have been trying to let go of this emmotion but haven't found the root cause. Until I find the reason for such flare ups I am looking for healthier responses. One such response is when I find myself starting to blow up I take a deep breath and then exhale slowly. During the exhale I imagine myself blowing the word anger into a baloon full of helium and tying it off. Then I imagine myself releasing this imaginary baloon and watch it float off. This is not adressing the root cause of the anger and sometimes I don't catch it before an outburst starts. But calming down sooner has relieved some of the tension I feel when a situtaion starts to become frustrating. This allows me to interup it sooner and eventually I wil get good enough to interupt the root cause and change the thinking habbits that create the need to fight/defend. (Which is usually why one blows up ie. make yourself seem bigger to what we see as a threat). Sometimes anger can stem from poor coping habbits we deveoped as children when we didn't have adult coping skills, yet. Keep developing adult coping skills and you will eventuially find your way. I would definitly be interested in hearing of yor successes in this endeavor and any new techniques you find that have positive results. I have problems letting go and trusting life. Thats why I started using the baloon visualization. I also have been repeating a list of affirmations each morning to my reflection in the mirror. The first and most important one is ("I love you and aprove of you just the way you are Bradley"!). I have a list that applies to the way I react to life and read it WITH FEELING each morning. The mirror work I find very helpful in learning to respect myself, not expect more of myself. It's a start and I will have future posts on the outcome of this in the future. Keep trying endlessly, you are worth it. You will keep improving if you keep trying. Hoping you happiness and peace in frustrating situations. GOD bless: Bradley

[Guest]

When I was married my wife and I would get into disagreements and sometimes shouting at each other. I have learned to walk away from and arguement or if I feel one coming on. She can argue by herself. Then I cool off by having a cup of coffee at a Waffle House and then thinking why she was upset and what a jerk I was. So I patch things up with a card and say I'm sorry I was wrong. (Even done this when I was right) But now I am a little older and wiser and think....why is it so important to be right? Weather right or wrong I'd rather live in a peacful environment where there is love and respect.

~~~~Big Louie