Karen -
Great job on dealing with your anxiety by "calling it's bluff". That is so true. So many times we let our anticipation of anxiety get so out of control. I've had a few times where I was able to just let go and tell myself that whatever happens will be okay. And what happened? The anxiety peaked and then quickly subsided. They were very positive experiences and I wish I could replicate them more often.
Changing gears (pun intended), no I haven't had any more flat tires. But that's likely because I haven't taken my bike out in a week, LOL! I did to go running today. The weather has been awesome for October. Maybe I'll get my bike out tomorrow.
Jamie
The Challenge...Lesson 7
THH -
I wanted to specifically address something you mentioned.
First, there is a huge difference between intelligence and knowledge. You can be very intelligent but lack knowledge about certain things. Knowing more does not make you smarter. Likewise, there a many people who know about a lot of things but aren't particularly intelligent (I think we all have people like this in our lives). So don't assume that just because you don't have the education you might want that it makes you less intelligent or worthy of having an opinion.
Furthermore, you can learn things just by living that can never be taught in a classroom. I know that you have knowledge and experience about things I understand nothing about. Plus, if you want to be more informed on something that interests you, all you need is a little research. While the internet contains a lot of garbage, there's a lot of good information as well.
Jamie
I wanted to specifically address something you mentioned.
Poor self esteem. I always felt like a uneducated person,(only a high school education) like I had no right to talk about things.
First, there is a huge difference between intelligence and knowledge. You can be very intelligent but lack knowledge about certain things. Knowing more does not make you smarter. Likewise, there a many people who know about a lot of things but aren't particularly intelligent (I think we all have people like this in our lives). So don't assume that just because you don't have the education you might want that it makes you less intelligent or worthy of having an opinion.
Furthermore, you can learn things just by living that can never be taught in a classroom. I know that you have knowledge and experience about things I understand nothing about. Plus, if you want to be more informed on something that interests you, all you need is a little research. While the internet contains a lot of garbage, there's a lot of good information as well.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Hope -
So glad to hear you had a good day. The self-talk you used was very intuitive and sounds like it worked well. Also, the more you do things like drive to the print shop, the easier it will become. You are training yourself to not be anxious about driving there. Give it some time and you'll get to the point where you won't even think about it anymore.
Jamie
So glad to hear you had a good day. The self-talk you used was very intuitive and sounds like it worked well. Also, the more you do things like drive to the print shop, the easier it will become. You are training yourself to not be anxious about driving there. Give it some time and you'll get to the point where you won't even think about it anymore.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Lindalee -
I'm sorry that you're husband reacted that way when you wanted to talk. It's hardest when the ones we're closest to don't want to open up to us. Perhaps he will calm down and you'll be able to gently approach the subject again. Clearly it's something that's important to you so you need to get it resolved one way or the other.
Jamie
I'm sorry that you're husband reacted that way when you wanted to talk. It's hardest when the ones we're closest to don't want to open up to us. Perhaps he will calm down and you'll be able to gently approach the subject again. Clearly it's something that's important to you so you need to get it resolved one way or the other.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
mcshope;
You're getting there. How many times have you faced that driving anxiety? and how many times have you gotten through it?
Yeah that sugar trip was just plain aweful. I can't believe how it could make me feel exactly how I was before I even started the program, that was a very important experience for me.
Lindalee;
Ah so I'm definately not the only person like this here then with the passiveness. I have gone through this program for 6 years on and off but I did not realize that I was being passive with the shiatsu. I'm also recognizing a few other things I am passive with. When did you quit the clubs? I guess this is a people pleasing thing when we are passive. I'm basing this on what you just shared with me, what THH shared and my own experience. I guess we just have to be more selfish or what Ken says, "Healthy selfish".
Yeah that makes sense that you would feel worried about talking to him if he just yells at you saying you are stupid, that is just not cool. I am going to post something in the next few days that may help you to talk to him so keep posted.
Ah so you felt the same thing I did when I ate that huge pumpkin pie to myself. It put me at a level 8 or 9 and it was such a huge struggle to get through the day. I did push myself to go to the gym and do some cardio and that definately helped to reduce the anxiety even when I was still on that sugar rush. I kinda went with the idea that doing cardio would clear out that extra sugar through sweating and breathing. Sounds like it was enough pain to get you back on your goal. Good realization for you?
Mike
You're getting there. How many times have you faced that driving anxiety? and how many times have you gotten through it?
Yeah that sugar trip was just plain aweful. I can't believe how it could make me feel exactly how I was before I even started the program, that was a very important experience for me.
Lindalee;
Ah so I'm definately not the only person like this here then with the passiveness. I have gone through this program for 6 years on and off but I did not realize that I was being passive with the shiatsu. I'm also recognizing a few other things I am passive with. When did you quit the clubs? I guess this is a people pleasing thing when we are passive. I'm basing this on what you just shared with me, what THH shared and my own experience. I guess we just have to be more selfish or what Ken says, "Healthy selfish".
Yeah that makes sense that you would feel worried about talking to him if he just yells at you saying you are stupid, that is just not cool. I am going to post something in the next few days that may help you to talk to him so keep posted.
Ah so you felt the same thing I did when I ate that huge pumpkin pie to myself. It put me at a level 8 or 9 and it was such a huge struggle to get through the day. I did push myself to go to the gym and do some cardio and that definately helped to reduce the anxiety even when I was still on that sugar rush. I kinda went with the idea that doing cardio would clear out that extra sugar through sweating and breathing. Sounds like it was enough pain to get you back on your goal. Good realization for you?
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Searunner;
Still struggling alot eh, thats really crappy. If I could beat up your anxiety and depression I would
, I'd be like give Jamie back his life you jerks!
Now what things happened last week? Anxiety is a sign that you are overwhelmed so what had happened that overwhelmed you?
Was it someone you were dealing with that was expecting alot from you?
Were you trying to fix someone and got really frustrated when they didn't listen?
Were you making your goals to big or trying to live life like everybody else?
Were you anticipating negative things before sleep? or was there some dietary things involved?
I have not heard of neurotherapy before but sounds intresting, let us know how it goes. Yeah we probabbly use the more analytical side of the brain more than the creative side.
Thank you for the supportive words. I was mostly just looking at the run vs walk thing as a gauge to create more pain associated with white sugar so I avoid it more. You're right there are low and high days, it just happens that way. This is actually one reason why i'm not constantly comparing how much I can lift one week as opposed to another. Changing the order of things of the workout or even when I do the workout can change alot.
By the way I am again focused on sleep again. It has been a huge pain and that first time just before I got into affirmations I was starting to get it but I accepted too much about those days where i'd stay up late and didn't take so much action and I also realized my goal was too high. So i'm back to accepting that I may have days that I stay up later but I still have to put my best foot forward because of all the good things I'll get from sleep. My goal was to get to sleep at 11pm and I got too overwhelmed so now my goal is to get into bed at 11pm. I'm going to download some stuff onto my ipod that I can listen to in bed if I need to. Maybe some Holosync or some really calming music.
Mike
Still struggling alot eh, thats really crappy. If I could beat up your anxiety and depression I would
, I'd be like give Jamie back his life you jerks!Now what things happened last week? Anxiety is a sign that you are overwhelmed so what had happened that overwhelmed you?
Was it someone you were dealing with that was expecting alot from you?
Were you trying to fix someone and got really frustrated when they didn't listen?
Were you making your goals to big or trying to live life like everybody else?
Were you anticipating negative things before sleep? or was there some dietary things involved?
I have not heard of neurotherapy before but sounds intresting, let us know how it goes. Yeah we probabbly use the more analytical side of the brain more than the creative side.
Thank you for the supportive words. I was mostly just looking at the run vs walk thing as a gauge to create more pain associated with white sugar so I avoid it more. You're right there are low and high days, it just happens that way. This is actually one reason why i'm not constantly comparing how much I can lift one week as opposed to another. Changing the order of things of the workout or even when I do the workout can change alot.
By the way I am again focused on sleep again. It has been a huge pain and that first time just before I got into affirmations I was starting to get it but I accepted too much about those days where i'd stay up late and didn't take so much action and I also realized my goal was too high. So i'm back to accepting that I may have days that I stay up later but I still have to put my best foot forward because of all the good things I'll get from sleep. My goal was to get to sleep at 11pm and I got too overwhelmed so now my goal is to get into bed at 11pm. I'm going to download some stuff onto my ipod that I can listen to in bed if I need to. Maybe some Holosync or some really calming music.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Ok so last lesson I talked about figuring out what cognitive distortion your irrational/negative thought fits into in order to help you figure out how to replace it and now I'm going to add the next piece to that.
This next part is coming from david D Burns's book "Ten days to self-esteem". These are the diffrent ways to take when figuring out a rational/positive thought replacement for a negative one. Most of this is directly word for word from the book.
1)Identify the distortion
You go through the list of cognitive distortions and categorize what distortions your thought fits into and it is a good first step when you can see that your negative thoughts are unrealistic.
2)Examine the evidence
Ask yourself, "What is the evidence that this thought is true? What is the evidence that it's not true?
3)Double-standard method
"We are often much harder on ourselves than others. After you write down your nevative thoughts, you can ask yourself, "Would I say this to a friend with a similar problem? Why not? What would I say to him or her?" You will often discover that you operate on a double standard--you have a realistic, fair, compassionate set of standards that you apply to other people whom you care about. You encourage them when they fail or when they are suffering. In constrast, you may have a stern, harsh, unrealistic set of standards that you appyl to yourself. You beat yourself up relentlessly, as if this would somehow help you achieve perfection or become a better person. One secret of self-esteem is simply to make the decision to talk to a beloved friend who was upset.
4)Experimental technique
You can often perform an experiment to test the accuracy of your negative thought. Ask yourself, "What experiment could I do to find out if this thought is really true?"
5)Shades of gray
This is particularly helpful in combating all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of looking at things in black and white categories, evaluate them in shades of gray. For example, instead of thinking of yourself as a total failure when you're having trouble in your marriage or career, you could ask yourself, "What are my specific strengths and weaknesses? What are my positive qualities? What deficiencies could I work on?
6)Survey method
Do a survey to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal, ask several friends if they ever felt that way.
7)Define terms
Ask yourself, "What do I really mean by this?" For example, if you call yourself a "total loser," what is the definition of a total loser? Does this definition really make sense? Is there any such thing as a total loser? You will discover that foolish behaviors exist, but fools do not. We all lose at times, but there's really no such thing as a "loser." Would you think of yourself as a "breather" simply because you breath?
8)Semantic
Use words that are more objective and less emotionally charged. This is especially effective for "should" statements and for labeling. For example, when you are upset you may beat yourself up by thinking, "I'm such a jerk. I shouldn't have made that mistake. How could I possibly be so stupid?" Instead, you could tell yourself, "It would be preferable if I hadn't made that mistake. However, the world won't come to an end, so let's see what I can learn from this."
9)Re-attribution
Instead of blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of suing all your energy in blaming yourself and feeling guilty. Ask yourself, "What caused this problem? What did I contribute and what did other people (or fate) contribute? What can I learn from the situation?"
10)Cost-benefit
This is the same as pros and cons. In this you will write about how it will help you or how it will hurt you to think the irrational thought.
11)Direct approach
Which is when you think of a more positive and realistic thought
12)Acceptance paradox
Many of the techniques are based on the idea of self-defense--you assume that the negative thought is illogical and you talk back to it. You refute it and defend yourself and build up your self-esteem. This approach is based on Western philosophy and on the scientific method. The idea is that "the truth shall make you free." The acceptance paradox is quite diffrent. It is based on Eastern philosophy and on Buddhism. Instead of defending against your own self-criticism, you find some truth in it and accept it. You ask yourself, "is there some truth in the criticism? Can I learn from it? Can I accept the fact that my performance was not up to par? I have many deficiencies. I am a human being and I am quite flawed." It's important to note that the acecptance paradox should never be used as a cop-out or a way to avoid your shortcomings. Often personal change through hard work is needed. Paradoxically, self-acceptance is frequently the crucial first step to personal change.
Since it can be tough, we need diffrent types of tools to get the job done properly. There's an old saying, diffrent strokes for diffrent folks. In my line of work, nothing could be more true. I never know ahead of time just what method will work for any particular person. So when one of my patients has a negative thought, we attack that thought over and over and over until we find a way to put the lie to it. Each technique represent a diffrent way to attack the thought.
Thats another thing if it makes it easier for you. The goal when doing thought replacement is not to make you feel better. The goal is to find a way to put the lie to the irrational thought and that in turn makes you feel better. Diffrent techniques work for diffrent thoughts and you just gatta keep trying until you get it and when you do get it, you will feel it at a gut level!
The book already mentioned Semantic method is better for shoulds and thinking in shades of gray is good for all-or-nothing thinking. You may find that they work for other cognitive distortions as well though. Also in my opinion Reattribution is good for the Personalization cognitive distortion and if you're blaming someone.
also if you are having a hard time figuring out the negative thoughts you're having. IN the book it suggests to draw a stick figure with a sad face and a giant thought bubble and just write down what you think the stick figure is thinking. You'll find that those are actually your thoughts and you are projecting them to the stick figure.
I really hope this helps and I will be working with this method more myself and share my experience with people so you know how it works.
Mike
This next part is coming from david D Burns's book "Ten days to self-esteem". These are the diffrent ways to take when figuring out a rational/positive thought replacement for a negative one. Most of this is directly word for word from the book.
1)Identify the distortion
You go through the list of cognitive distortions and categorize what distortions your thought fits into and it is a good first step when you can see that your negative thoughts are unrealistic.
2)Examine the evidence
Ask yourself, "What is the evidence that this thought is true? What is the evidence that it's not true?
3)Double-standard method
"We are often much harder on ourselves than others. After you write down your nevative thoughts, you can ask yourself, "Would I say this to a friend with a similar problem? Why not? What would I say to him or her?" You will often discover that you operate on a double standard--you have a realistic, fair, compassionate set of standards that you apply to other people whom you care about. You encourage them when they fail or when they are suffering. In constrast, you may have a stern, harsh, unrealistic set of standards that you appyl to yourself. You beat yourself up relentlessly, as if this would somehow help you achieve perfection or become a better person. One secret of self-esteem is simply to make the decision to talk to a beloved friend who was upset.
4)Experimental technique
You can often perform an experiment to test the accuracy of your negative thought. Ask yourself, "What experiment could I do to find out if this thought is really true?"
5)Shades of gray
This is particularly helpful in combating all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of looking at things in black and white categories, evaluate them in shades of gray. For example, instead of thinking of yourself as a total failure when you're having trouble in your marriage or career, you could ask yourself, "What are my specific strengths and weaknesses? What are my positive qualities? What deficiencies could I work on?
6)Survey method
Do a survey to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal, ask several friends if they ever felt that way.
7)Define terms
Ask yourself, "What do I really mean by this?" For example, if you call yourself a "total loser," what is the definition of a total loser? Does this definition really make sense? Is there any such thing as a total loser? You will discover that foolish behaviors exist, but fools do not. We all lose at times, but there's really no such thing as a "loser." Would you think of yourself as a "breather" simply because you breath?
8)Semantic
Use words that are more objective and less emotionally charged. This is especially effective for "should" statements and for labeling. For example, when you are upset you may beat yourself up by thinking, "I'm such a jerk. I shouldn't have made that mistake. How could I possibly be so stupid?" Instead, you could tell yourself, "It would be preferable if I hadn't made that mistake. However, the world won't come to an end, so let's see what I can learn from this."
9)Re-attribution
Instead of blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of suing all your energy in blaming yourself and feeling guilty. Ask yourself, "What caused this problem? What did I contribute and what did other people (or fate) contribute? What can I learn from the situation?"
10)Cost-benefit
This is the same as pros and cons. In this you will write about how it will help you or how it will hurt you to think the irrational thought.
11)Direct approach
Which is when you think of a more positive and realistic thought
12)Acceptance paradox
Many of the techniques are based on the idea of self-defense--you assume that the negative thought is illogical and you talk back to it. You refute it and defend yourself and build up your self-esteem. This approach is based on Western philosophy and on the scientific method. The idea is that "the truth shall make you free." The acceptance paradox is quite diffrent. It is based on Eastern philosophy and on Buddhism. Instead of defending against your own self-criticism, you find some truth in it and accept it. You ask yourself, "is there some truth in the criticism? Can I learn from it? Can I accept the fact that my performance was not up to par? I have many deficiencies. I am a human being and I am quite flawed." It's important to note that the acecptance paradox should never be used as a cop-out or a way to avoid your shortcomings. Often personal change through hard work is needed. Paradoxically, self-acceptance is frequently the crucial first step to personal change.
Since it can be tough, we need diffrent types of tools to get the job done properly. There's an old saying, diffrent strokes for diffrent folks. In my line of work, nothing could be more true. I never know ahead of time just what method will work for any particular person. So when one of my patients has a negative thought, we attack that thought over and over and over until we find a way to put the lie to it. Each technique represent a diffrent way to attack the thought.
Thats another thing if it makes it easier for you. The goal when doing thought replacement is not to make you feel better. The goal is to find a way to put the lie to the irrational thought and that in turn makes you feel better. Diffrent techniques work for diffrent thoughts and you just gatta keep trying until you get it and when you do get it, you will feel it at a gut level!
The book already mentioned Semantic method is better for shoulds and thinking in shades of gray is good for all-or-nothing thinking. You may find that they work for other cognitive distortions as well though. Also in my opinion Reattribution is good for the Personalization cognitive distortion and if you're blaming someone.
also if you are having a hard time figuring out the negative thoughts you're having. IN the book it suggests to draw a stick figure with a sad face and a giant thought bubble and just write down what you think the stick figure is thinking. You'll find that those are actually your thoughts and you are projecting them to the stick figure.
I really hope this helps and I will be working with this method more myself and share my experience with people so you know how it works.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
My ideas, opinions, feelings and needs matter. I deserve respect and I deserve to stand up for myself. When I'm assertive it doesn't matter how the other person responds because I am doing it for myself and not for them. No matter what response I get, I will continue to stick to my guns
Wednesday;
Well I can't remember all of my dream but in it I had said no to my grandfather for something and I was assertive with my sister and it felt good but beyond that I don't remember.
I ended up getting to bed at a reasonable time but I ended up sleeping until 11-11:30am. I wanted to go to workout class and so I got ready and left. I felt a little rushed and I unfortunately took some sennacot pills in order to get my digestive system working properly and so I got to the gym about 5 minutes late I got all my gym clothes on and then had to run to the can a few times. I think It was 20 after when I was ok and that was just too late. So I went on the comp and did some posting and such and then went and did some cardio instead. I was somewhat worried that the teacher would get upset and I should have been there but this is one of those people pleasing things. I am however not always going to go or not always going to want to go and thats fine. I guess people are just used to routine and then tend to expect it.
Again while working out I didn't push myself too much. I did alot and I started to get overwhelmed but did not push myself any further, I immediately went and stretched then used the relaxation cd.
I went and bought some groceries after randomly meeting a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and then walked home. It was alot of groceries and was heavy and I forced myself to walk all the way home with it. I could have easily picked up these groceries closer to my house but instead I walked an extra 20 minutes away from my gym (opposite from my house) and then walked home (1h 20-30m instead of 1hour). I felt so exhausted, got many obsessive thoughts and resented myself because I wasn't feeling good.
I was so tired I got myself into bed at 10:30 instead of 11 and I lied there waiting to fall sleep and I think it took awhile but I did get to bed.
Thought replacement
1)I'm not going to make it and then the instructor will hate me.
[Mind reading, magnification]
->Its definately a possibility of not making it on time but she has already said she doesn't mind people being late and there were several times I was late and many times I didn't show up at all. I go there because I want to and not beacuse I want to please another person.
2)I have to workout my abs but I don't want to.
[Should]
->I'd like to be consistent with my abs but today I'm just too overwhelmed and taking care of myself is more important. I can do it another day, no problem.
3)I need to rush or I won't get everything done.
[Magnification, Should]
->Thats ok if I don't get everything accomplished. I can feel good for every accomplishment, I don't have to wait till i'm completely done everything to feel good.
4)I need to post everything important for that day before everybody else posts because I need that recognition.
[Should]
->I would like recognition for everything I put in my posts but I'm not going to get it for everything, that is not realistic. I do get some recognition from others and I get recognition from myself and I'm good with that. If I need some input on something then I can ask for it, I'm allowed to ask for what I need.
5)I need to work on my abs, I need to have a good body to feel good about myself.
[Should]
->I'd like really nice abs because they look really hot but there are already so many things I feel good about myself for despite the fact that I don't already have that amazing body.
6)I should feel relaxed after using the relaxation cd but I don't.
[Should]
->I do feel more relaxed after using it. I may not feel as relaxed as I would like to feel right now but I still am somewhat relaxed.
7)I shouldn't feel exhausted after using the relaxation cd.
[should]
->I was exhausted before listening to it and the relaxation cd does not magically make all feelings of exhaustion go away. Whats going to help me get through it is my daily efforts of keeping a good sleep schedual, doing cardio, eatting well, working my abs out, resting and underloading my day.
Mike
Wednesday;
Well I can't remember all of my dream but in it I had said no to my grandfather for something and I was assertive with my sister and it felt good but beyond that I don't remember.
I ended up getting to bed at a reasonable time but I ended up sleeping until 11-11:30am. I wanted to go to workout class and so I got ready and left. I felt a little rushed and I unfortunately took some sennacot pills in order to get my digestive system working properly and so I got to the gym about 5 minutes late I got all my gym clothes on and then had to run to the can a few times. I think It was 20 after when I was ok and that was just too late. So I went on the comp and did some posting and such and then went and did some cardio instead. I was somewhat worried that the teacher would get upset and I should have been there but this is one of those people pleasing things. I am however not always going to go or not always going to want to go and thats fine. I guess people are just used to routine and then tend to expect it.
Again while working out I didn't push myself too much. I did alot and I started to get overwhelmed but did not push myself any further, I immediately went and stretched then used the relaxation cd.
I went and bought some groceries after randomly meeting a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and then walked home. It was alot of groceries and was heavy and I forced myself to walk all the way home with it. I could have easily picked up these groceries closer to my house but instead I walked an extra 20 minutes away from my gym (opposite from my house) and then walked home (1h 20-30m instead of 1hour). I felt so exhausted, got many obsessive thoughts and resented myself because I wasn't feeling good.
I was so tired I got myself into bed at 10:30 instead of 11 and I lied there waiting to fall sleep and I think it took awhile but I did get to bed.
Thought replacement
1)I'm not going to make it and then the instructor will hate me.
[Mind reading, magnification]
->Its definately a possibility of not making it on time but she has already said she doesn't mind people being late and there were several times I was late and many times I didn't show up at all. I go there because I want to and not beacuse I want to please another person.
2)I have to workout my abs but I don't want to.
[Should]
->I'd like to be consistent with my abs but today I'm just too overwhelmed and taking care of myself is more important. I can do it another day, no problem.
3)I need to rush or I won't get everything done.
[Magnification, Should]
->Thats ok if I don't get everything accomplished. I can feel good for every accomplishment, I don't have to wait till i'm completely done everything to feel good.
4)I need to post everything important for that day before everybody else posts because I need that recognition.
[Should]
->I would like recognition for everything I put in my posts but I'm not going to get it for everything, that is not realistic. I do get some recognition from others and I get recognition from myself and I'm good with that. If I need some input on something then I can ask for it, I'm allowed to ask for what I need.
5)I need to work on my abs, I need to have a good body to feel good about myself.
[Should]
->I'd like really nice abs because they look really hot but there are already so many things I feel good about myself for despite the fact that I don't already have that amazing body.
6)I should feel relaxed after using the relaxation cd but I don't.
[Should]
->I do feel more relaxed after using it. I may not feel as relaxed as I would like to feel right now but I still am somewhat relaxed.
7)I shouldn't feel exhausted after using the relaxation cd.
[should]
->I was exhausted before listening to it and the relaxation cd does not magically make all feelings of exhaustion go away. Whats going to help me get through it is my daily efforts of keeping a good sleep schedual, doing cardio, eatting well, working my abs out, resting and underloading my day.
Mike
Last edited by NinjaFrodo on Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
by the way I get the feeling that maybe my posts may be overwhelmingly long for some of you guys. I'd like to know what you guys think and I am willing to listen without judgement.
Oh and here is another video. I see this as the person I'd like to be for myself. My own inner safe person;
Time after Time
Mike
Oh and here is another video. I see this as the person I'd like to be for myself. My own inner safe person;
Time after Time
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
Searunner,
It's good to hear from you. I wondered how things were going for you. I'm sorry you have been having a difficult time. I'm seeing a pattern in our postings and in my own experience that it seems we make a good stride forward and then our anxiety/depression seems to have a comeback. Instead of a steady progress, I think it can happen in jumps, forward and back and then forward again. We just can't quit, we must keep trying.
Mike,
I quit the other clubs just this early summer. I still belong to one, which I want to continue to be in. I have met several people in this club that I have become true friends with, one a fairly close friend. But I was volunteering or saying yes to the work to be liked, and I will now only do the work if I want to for my own wish, that healty selfishness.
I definately need better communication with my husband and look forward to your input.
About the sugar and anxiety I experienced, I think you misunderstood my experience. My experience was the opposite of yours. When I cut out the sugar and exercised regularly, that's when I experienced the generalized anxiety. I went back to sugar and stopped exercising to get my life "back to normal" because the generalized anxiety was soooo uncomfortable! But a somewhat mild depression is a constant generalized feeling for me. I'm used to it. It feels "normal" if not good. But now I have decided to continue truely working this program to overcome my anxiety AND my depression, and if this means I will feel some increase in anxiety as I overcome my depression, then I will just accept that, knowing that my anxiety will lesson again eventually. AS I type this I know it is soooo much easier said than done.But I don't want to stay stuck in my depression, just because I'm afaid of the generalized anxiety. It would be like staying in a corner in a burning building because I was afraid to walk through the flames to get out. Knowing that this group of understanding and supportive friends is here is a help!
Thank you everyone.
It's good to hear from you. I wondered how things were going for you. I'm sorry you have been having a difficult time. I'm seeing a pattern in our postings and in my own experience that it seems we make a good stride forward and then our anxiety/depression seems to have a comeback. Instead of a steady progress, I think it can happen in jumps, forward and back and then forward again. We just can't quit, we must keep trying.
Mike,
I quit the other clubs just this early summer. I still belong to one, which I want to continue to be in. I have met several people in this club that I have become true friends with, one a fairly close friend. But I was volunteering or saying yes to the work to be liked, and I will now only do the work if I want to for my own wish, that healty selfishness.
I definately need better communication with my husband and look forward to your input.
About the sugar and anxiety I experienced, I think you misunderstood my experience. My experience was the opposite of yours. When I cut out the sugar and exercised regularly, that's when I experienced the generalized anxiety. I went back to sugar and stopped exercising to get my life "back to normal" because the generalized anxiety was soooo uncomfortable! But a somewhat mild depression is a constant generalized feeling for me. I'm used to it. It feels "normal" if not good. But now I have decided to continue truely working this program to overcome my anxiety AND my depression, and if this means I will feel some increase in anxiety as I overcome my depression, then I will just accept that, knowing that my anxiety will lesson again eventually. AS I type this I know it is soooo much easier said than done.But I don't want to stay stuck in my depression, just because I'm afaid of the generalized anxiety. It would be like staying in a corner in a burning building because I was afraid to walk through the flames to get out. Knowing that this group of understanding and supportive friends is here is a help!
Thank you everyone.