Friend Issues Again:)

[luvpiggy]

Hi everyone:)!
Over a month ago I posted on here about how my best friend didn't want to be friends with me anymore since I had gotten better with my anxiety, and she suddenly had moved away to another state and compared herself to a Katrina victim. I have a son with severe autism and couldn't be there for her the way she wanted me to be. After that happened, I started to research co-dependency, and it really looks like we had a classic co-dependent relationship. I just didn't understand it all at the time we were friends, and I really couldn't see it until I got better. I had no idea that she wouldn't want to be my friend if I got better or that she resented the help she gave me and expected me to repay her in return.
Since that happened, I have gotten even better:). My husband commented that I was afraid that if she wasn't in my life I was going to get worse, but instead I've done better than I have in years:). It's been wonderful:). I don't have a best friend, but I have made connections with others, and I do have a friend who has a son with autism that I am talking to on a regular basis. I've also realized that I need to be careful with the co-dependency because my son will probably have autism for the rest of his life, and that does put us in a needy position so I need be very mindful of boundaries.
Well, I'm not going to say that I didn't have a feeling that this could happen because I did have a hunch or feeling the week before it happened about what would happen if she contacted me again. She sent me a simple e-mail saying that she was sorry we weren't talking, that she missed me, that she is hoping that I want to work things out with her, and that I am special to her.
My overwhelming feeling is not to be friends with her again, even though I do miss having a best friend. I really do see the co-dependency she had with me and many others in her life, and I'm not sure being friends with me would even help her. I've seen her act like a best friend to her boss that mistreated her just because the boss's dad was sick. I do think she could have helped her boss if it was work related, but she started going over to her boss's home, and talking to her during off hours on the phone and other things. This was the first time it really hit me that something was really wrong with that picture, and I couldn't put my finger on the fact that it was co-dependency. When I confronted her about it, she was very defensive and just didn't get it. Well, so that is my overwhelming feeling, but I also did go to therapy and talk about the issue, and my therapist said that I should let her back into my life on a very limited basis. She said it's always good to have a wide support circle. She said that I could be throwing away a friendship by waiting around for the perfect friend to come along. I don't have a lot of friends, and I know that I struggle in this area. I told her it was a co-dependent relationship, and she said all relationships have some unhealthiness to them. I'm so confused. I'm praying about it, and everything, but the thing is that I doubt very highly she is cured of co-dependency in a month or even realizes what a big deal it is, although I told her about it in a non-blaming way in a final e-mail response after she ended the friendship. I don't really know how to have a limited relationship with her because it just doesn't seem worth it if I don't trust her. The therapist said I don't tell her personal information. How do I have a relationship like that? I'm trying to figure out what we had apart from the co-dependency, and I just can't see what we had without seeing it through that lens.
Any comments, thoughts, advice, suggestions? I really want to do the right thing here. Thank you all for listening:)

[Guest]

I may not be the best to give anyone advice, but i think you should listen to your gut instincts. they are usually right. maybe sometime down the road you can have some contact with her.
I understand about not having a lot of friends. It sounds like you are making connections with people that will be able to support you with your son.
God will lead you, just listen to Him.