Simply being assertive

[Jerry McLeod]

I was reared by a very religious dear mother that taught mainly the bible, almost leaving out completely any emphasis on formal schooling (old and new testament), and, a dad, when he was around, that instilled a dreaded fear! My assertiveness, in my opinion, never materalized. Somewhere between 31 any 43 yrs of age, I became an alcoholic; had treatment, did not drink (beer) for 13 yrs, began again for some six yrs, discontinued for apx 2 yrs, began at some point in the recent past drinking again until this past July the 11th. For the first time I had the DT's. I shook badly'. To eat I had to use both hands. My nerves are quit together now. Not shakeing. In this short time, I feel fantastic. It was the shakeing that frightened me and told me that to continue would bring an end to me. I am able to say without any equivacation, the shakeing frightened me to my core. Haveing,, I feel, reasonably completed session one, I see much difference in my attitude and feelings. A retired cross-country truck driver for 33 yrs, turned realtor for the past 3.5 yrs, all of my closings of real estate transactions have been met with some level of panic, mainly some tightening of the chest and some kind of weakness in the stomach area. Very much a 'what if' feeling as well, coupled with, 'what will they think'. It was never that I was unable to attend however. Today, I had a closing and nothing. I had to ask a time or two where I should sign on some given form, and it was alright. I have made progress. For the drinking, alcoholicly, I know it's a constant vigil and I know the rules from treatment. I believe I've made so much progress in the past ten days. I will never be cured of this alcoholisim. I will always be in a recovery mode. The shakeing was a frightening and telling thing. Jerry

[SCDon]

Great Jerry. You were able to wake up and smell the coffee before you hit rock bottom. That is a huge step as you know and it takes a lot of strength and courage to face those fears.
Congrats.