advice please

dfield · Post by **dfield** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:58 am

Hi, I have been in the program for 3 weeks now and i am stating to feel alot better. I have found that one of my problems with this is. I have just graduated from nursing school. where we live there is not much advancement so i need to move to a bigger city my husband and daughter really like it down here. But for me i need to move. I feel like i am just thinking of myself. does anyone have any advice what i should do.

Steve2120 · Post by **Steve2120** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:45 am

Tough questions!!! Maybe the 4-way test might be of some help. It was developed by Herbert J. Taylor, President of Club Aluminum Company, in 1932.

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

Example:
1. Is it true you "need" to move? Is it true that you can't progress as fast and as far as you want where you live right now? Maybe it is just harder than it might be elsewhere.
2. Is moving fair to YOU, your spouse, your daughter, and anyone else involved?
3. Will moving build better relations between you and your family members and others involved?
4. Will moving benefit all involved? Will your husband be able to get a BETTER job? Will your daughter go to better schools? Will they have better friends?

If you can answer yes to all four questions, then moving is a good idea.

Good luck!

Steve

Dodger · Post by **Dodger** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:02 am

Steve that was so great I wrote that down.

great advice....cant top that.

dodger

dfield · Post by **dfield** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:53 am

Thank you for your post and now that i think about that way yes i can answer yes to all the question. thanks again

Steve2120 · Post by **Steve2120** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:17 am

I guess I would add one thing: It is important that your husband and daughter also answer the questions in the affirmative. If they don't, then the answer to #3 is probably no.

Steve

dfield · Post by **dfield** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:18 am

My husband doesn't really want to move but my daughter is happy about it now. because my other children who are out of the house now and live down here are also moving up there so they can go to school. The school up in the bigger city will much better from my younger daughter. My older children went to school up there and we only moved here 3 years ago. So i guess i am thinking of just my self. but my husband can find a job up there. The job he has now he likes but it is not as good as what i can do with my career. So what do you think now

Steve2120 · Post by **Steve2120** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:14 am

I can't make the decision for you. I could not possibly know all the factors involved, even if you tried to describe them all to me. That is why I shared the 4-way test with you--to give you good criteria for making the decision yourself.

It sounds like you have a lot of good reasons for making the move. It sounds like your husband's reluctance is the only barrier to moving. However, there could be other negatives.

Another good tool for helping in a big decision is to make a list of advantages and disadvantages. You should do this with your husband in a calm and open discussion. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Label the first column "Advantages of Moving" and the second "Advantages of Staying". Then, together, fill in both sides with every advantage to that choice.

Hopefully, this exercise will open your eyes to why he wants to stay and will open his eyes to why you want to move. Then, with better understanding on both sides, you may be able to come to an agreement on what to do.

Good luck!!

Steve

dfield · Post by **dfield** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:00 am

Thank you very much. i will do that