Anyone on session 6

[Nel01073]

Hi Im currently on session 6. I decided to spend another week on it. I think Im spending a little extra time on each session especially those I know I need more help with. I think Im starting to realize I struggle with anger. Either I become sort of a pushover or I get angry at people pushing me around and I finally explode. Sometimes when someone tries to make me feel bad I ignore it and pretend it doesnt bother me just so I wont show weakness or that im insecure about that ceratain issue. If im really insecure about something I prefer to act as if doesnt bother me. Like my sister ive tried to tell her certain things shes doing are hurting me and then some time goes by and does it again. Anyway just wondering whos working on this session and how youre dealing.

[Iwillbebetter]

Hi Nel, I just started this session, as I to am spending extra time where it is needed and so far that's been all of them I find I do the same thing a lot, I hold it in, hold it in until I finally explode. Never physical, but never nice. That is actually part of what got me to give the program a 2nd shot. (I didn't finish my 1st try)
I think I also do as Lucinda says and "bring people home with me" I never realized it before, but I think those many times I "Bite my tongue" with others, my family are the ones to then "pay".
That can be hard when you bring something to someone and they change it, but only temporarily. I have had some trouble with that also. I think I experience that more with my boyfriend. After listening to the CD and knowing the assertive one is coming, I"m starting to think maybe part of the reason they "go back" is the way I went about it. Maybe not expressing myself "correctly" makes it not as real or serious to them? I don't know. Just a thought.
I read this book not long ago.. it's called don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.... (I LOVED IT) there were quite a few things I think that help with this type of thing. I had originally gotten it from the library, loved it so much I went and bought it. (My mom bought it also )

[LyndaLu]

Wow, no one here since January !
Well, I am starting Session Six today.
I listened to the CD once today but I was just not "getting" it.
I will listen to it again tomorrow and try to concentrate
more on what they are talking about.
I guess I have always considered my anger to be "irritation" ( instead of the word "anger".)
"Anger" seems so agressive, and I don't feel like I am an agressive person at all.
Maybe I will have to read the workbook and listen to the CD tomorrow !
Lynda

[Iwillbebetter]

Maybe when you listen again when they say Anger, hear irritation in your head... don't know if that will help any!!

[LyndaLu]

The past week has been so depressing for me, I haven't been doing anything or going anywhere.
I am unemployed and trying to look for a job. I job search on the computer and I just end up staying
inside my apartment and not going outside if I don't have to. This past week I HAVE gotten some things
done, but they are just the normal grocery shopping and haircut and laundry stuff. I check my mailbox
every day and I take out my trash every day. It is getting hot here in Arizona and it has already been
93 degrees outside and who wants to go outside in that heat, ugh! So, I am sort of getting no where this
past week with the program and the relaxation CD and my journaling. I am spending too much time on
this computer and it drives my eyesight crazy and makes my muscles ache more. This weekend has
been an interesting weekend with April 6th being the 5 year anniversary of my nervous breakdown and
April 8th being the 3 year anniversary of my layoff from my job. I think I have decided that "anniversaries"
are not a good idea and from now on I am just going to let them fly by and I am not going to
"recognize" them anymore - I am just going to move forward and not keep thinking about the past.
God Bless.
Lynda Lu

[LyndaLu]

Session Six: Stop Being Angry and Control Your Mood Swings

I think this is one of the shortest sessions in the workbook?
Anynow, a lot of words are used in the workbook and I had to look them up just so that I could understand their meaning.
For example: What is the difference between irritation and anger.

Annoy: to disturb or irritate esp. by repeated acts. to harass esp. by quick brief attacks. to cause annoyance.
synonyms: annoy, vex, irk bother.

Irritate: to provoke impatience, anger, or displeasure in: annoy. to induce irritability in or of. to cause or
induce displeasure or irritation. synonyms: irritate, exasperate, nettle, provoke, rile, peeve.

Anger:a strong feeling of displeasure and usu. of antagonism. synonyms; anger, ire, rage, fury, indignation, wrath.

Lynda Lu

[hopeful12]

Hi Lyndalu,

I am sorry you had a rough week. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself praise for everything you do. If you feel like you are on the computer too much, try painting or making a new recipe or something. I think the computer and the TV can increase our anxiety if we use it too much. I used to have agoraphobia and I still struggle with riding in the car with someone else driving. Every time, you walk outside or go to the store or go to the mailbox,give yourself lots of praise. Sometimes I would think -- oh I feel like a child talking like this to myself and it felt like that Polly anna garbage that Carolyn talked about on tape 3. But, that was just a false negative thought. We need to do this, because maybe we didn't get it as children. If it is 5 times harder for us to accomplish something, then we need to give ourselves that much more credit. This is treatable but it takes time to change our automatic behavior and thoughts. There is a book that helped me called Peace of Body, Peace of Mindy by Rose VanSicle. She had panic and then was agoraphobic at one time. I used it along with the program and go back to it when needed. What I like about Rose's book is that it gives you the phrases to say to yourself when you are experiencing symptoms and they help push you through. Like symptoms are distressing but not dangerous and feelings are not facts. You might want to try it. I really think God wants us to be gentle with ourselves. Try it. Scolding ourselves does not help so why do we do it? God Bless!

[LyndaLu]

dear hopeful:
Your post is just what I needed today, thank you so much for responding !
I love all of your wise advice and I appreciate the book recommendation, as I have been getting back into reading
since starting on the program. I HAVE been very hard on myself the past 3-4 weeks and was wiped out emotionally
by a crying "jag" that I had this afternoon. Writing a couple of long e-mails to my sister may have helped me out
this evening, just to get everything out of my system.
Looking forward to better days ahead.
Lynda

[hopeful12]

Hi Lyndalu,

How are you doing today? I hope you are feeling better and you are being gentle with yourself. My 17 year old daughter was just having a really hard time last night falling asleep -- she is all worried about her exams and the prom and everything. It is funny how we don't worry about one thing at a time, but heap it all on so it becomes overwhelming. I talked to her about having a worry time just like in the tapes and also asked her to focus on one moment or one hour at a time. The book I referred you to, talks about doing things in "part acts" when we are anxious and this is how we can manage our day. So I asked my daughter what her job at the moment was last night. Answer was falling asleep so she could do her best today. I suggested she put aside her worry until a specific time tomorrow and just do her job for the present moment. Let God take care of the rest because he can. He gave us 24 hours for a reason. This morning, her day is broken down into getting up, having breakfast, taking a shower, doing her hair, getting her coat on, walking to school, participating in first period class. Whenever, she thinks about or worries about a future task i.e. her test tomorrow, etc.; then she can gently bring her mind back to just her job at the moment. I have to do this for myself all the time and it truly truly helps. I am also setting my worry time for 9 p.m. -- my problem solving time!

I also told my daughter to visualize a peaceful flowing stream. The leaves from the trees above float gently down and land in the water. She can see the leaves floating down the stream. I asked her to visually write her worries or negative thoughts -- one on each leaf and watch the leaf carry the worry away. It works for me!

Have a great day!

[LyndaLu]

Dear Hopeful:
Well, I guess this has nothing to do with "Anyone on session six" , but,
I am waiting for a month long depression to break.
I know that I am the only one that can end this month long depression, that is is all up to ME
and that no one can do it for me. That is really hard to face up to and makes me even more
tired thinking about it. I have really been thinking about the cause of this depressive
time and I believe it is being caused partially by my painful joint disease in both of my shoulders.
I have been having more pain. I already have sleeping issues, but now the shoulder pain makes sleeping worse.
I don't have health insurance any longer, so doctors are out of the question as far as treatment for the shoulders.
I am sort of in a hole here, but I will figure it out . . . . I have survived this long, I can survive a little
longer. The problem is that I just don't want to survive or exist, I want to LIVE.
Once again, it is all up to me. I have some skills, I just obviously don't have the drive or desire to use them.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Lynda