keeps repeating. gets to a point, stops, then repeats. so...i dont even have session three to comfort me this morning i live with constant depression. i have had so much medically that has caused me to have mri's, be into the doctor because my shoulders..both of them.. do not work and are in major pain so i have been going to physical therapy and have a tens machine i am to use 2x a day. the bills from the medical and not being able to work outside my home is all building up. i worry about being alone so much of the day. i can not get my own drinks or food when my husband and daughter are at work and so they set me up with lunchables so i can have those at my bedside. but, no one to talk to or be with for several hours a day. i get scared something will happen and no one will be here. a couple years ago, i got real sick. my husband came home on lunch hours to check on me. doctors had no idea what was going on until i finally went into a coma for 4 days and had to go to hospital by ambulance the week of Christmas. turned out, i was ketoacidosis and the diagnosis of diabetic 2 with sugar of almost 500. my family all lives over 3 hours away so i have no one but my husband and daughter. his hours were cut after 9/11 to 32 hours a week and we worry that he will lose his job with the way things are here in elkhart. its a huge struggle surviving on 32 hour a week paychecks so i have cut most of my medications because we can not afford them. i get suicidal because i feel he and my daughter would be better off without me. i feel like a huge burden.well.i am sure that there probably is little hope for me. i mean, i get the program for help and can not even do that right because my cd's don't work. an omen that i am a hopeless case? i just feel everything i try to do ends up a mess and i doubt there is much anyone can do but lucinda says check in daily..so, here i am.