Sexuality
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ontheverge
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:25 am
I was married for 16 years. My wife divorced me 7 years ago. She found someone else. My divorce was agonizing, It went on for over three years. I have always been attracted to same sex (male). I have experimented over the years. I have decided I am bi-sexual. I don't want to be it's just what it is. It has taken me years to accept it and try to be comfortable. Problem is I live in a small town, I do not have anyone to confide in. I don't have anyone to relate to. Also, the last thing I want to do is hurt my children. I am lonely and just don't know what to do? I have been on internet sites to no avail. I can't help my feelings, I am depressed to the point that I am miserable unless I drink. I am not in a position to move. I hope someone may have some ideas. Without an outlet I really don't know how this will end without my family and friends getting hurt or ashamed.
Hi ontheverge, you are in a very awful postion and I wouldn't want to have to be there. You could be right when you say this info may hurt your children, but trust me they will learn to deal with it! It's hard to see our loved ones go through any changes, it makes us uneasy maybe because the relationship we've had with them for so many years might change and that makes most people nervous. It's usually based on their own insecurities. I don't know if that made any sense, but what I'm trying to say is it will not be easy at first, but you can't deny how you feel, you didn't ask to feel that way and if you try and keep it a secret, eventually you will self destruct! I come from a family of alcoholics and trust me, that will hurt your family way more than being gay or bi! I'm not saying it will be easy, I have many friends that are gay and my heart goes out to how judged they sometimes feel. But the worse stories are of when they were in the closet and never could be themselves. You didn't ask to have these feelings and people that love and respect you will support you. And the ones that don't have there own issues to work on, and that is learning to respect others. I am not gay or bi, but my heart goes out to someone who is so afraid of losing their friends and family just for being themselves. And until I experience and struggle with those same feelings I can not judge someone who does. People should be more accepting, but unfortunately there are alot of people that still are not, so it must have taken alot of courage just to admit these things to yourself! And remember, even though there are alot of people that are judgmental about an alternative lifestyle, there are just as many people that have respect for a decision to live that lifestyle. Good luck!
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ontheverge
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:25 am
Thank you, your words are very encouraging. I have read your post many times. I wish everyone could be so understanding. I think I am going to get a room in the nearest large city here and just check out a couple of places. I donno? I put my picture on a gay date site. I can't believe I actually did it. It's only a matter of time before someone here sees it. I will just deal with it when it happens? Very scary!!
Hi ontheverge, I'm glad I was helpful. It surprises me as well, that there's still such a prejudice about such things, but there is. I guess that's part of everyone being different and everyone has a right to their own opinion. Just don't let that shape you. I learned a long time ago, what might be right for me, may not always be right for someone else and vica-versa. Good luck!