Just need some advice
I have tried starting the program twice and everytime I always fall apart on Session 3. I try to not let the negative thoughts bring me down but somehow they always do. It is hard to be positive or to change things around when so much in your life is going so awful. Right now I have been trying to get a teaching job and I have worked so hard to get a certifcate and sen out resume but not a single place I applied at even wanted to call me in for an interview. Not even the place I worked at for two years as a substitute wanted to even give me a chance. The last of my friends have moved on in life. One got married and the other moved to Florida and the only time I really ever hear from them is when is when thigns are going wrong or to hear how great things are and I feel awful because I hate hearing the great times. I come home every night to an empty house, without a single person who called just to see how I am. I feel horrible inside. When I live at home things aren't much better, my family for the most part is extremely negative. It is often like living in a divorced home but the parents live together. I can't escape it thought. I can't afford to so I just deal wiht it but it doesn't help my mind frame. It the sessions they say you have to make yourself a safe place and not any places or people but how do you do that when you urself are the worst of it all? Most days I get bombared by horrible thoughts? When I have a bad spell it is so hard to get out of it and can last for weeks, months sometimes. I am just tired of fighting it all bymyself. If anyone has any advice, that would be really great, I am so depserate right now.
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Guest
I can really relate to your situation. I almost got bogged down in session 3, which I hear happens to a lot of people. In my case, it took me over 51 years to get here so it will take more than a week or two to learn to be more positive. So, I decided to work on it as I can and move on. I started session 7 Sunday.
I read many of these threads everyday and get a lot of hope and encouragement from them and from the chatroom. Also, good music helps a lot.
I was so far down in April, I ordered this program almost as a last resort. I am feeling better if only because I know I am fighting my depression better than I ever have before and I have a resolve to never give up, never surrender. Hang tough and fight. There are a lot of us out here fighting the same battles and we are here for you too.
I read many of these threads everyday and get a lot of hope and encouragement from them and from the chatroom. Also, good music helps a lot.
I was so far down in April, I ordered this program almost as a last resort. I am feeling better if only because I know I am fighting my depression better than I ever have before and I have a resolve to never give up, never surrender. Hang tough and fight. There are a lot of us out here fighting the same battles and we are here for you too.
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Guest
Hi Melli 
I was just looking through the posts this morning and I came across yours. I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time. I just wanted you to know that I understand what you are feeling. Lesson 3 in the program was a hard one for me to get also. We've been telling ourselves for so long that we aren't good enough. And that horrible negative thought just takes over. I found for me the journaling was so helpful. I know that things are bad but how about writing down some of the good things?....like your accomplishments as a teacher. You studied hard to get your certificate and you will find a job. Be patient and kind to yourself.
You are so deserving of everything that life has to offer. Keep the positive switch on and move forward with your life. WE all have bad days, weeks, and even years. YOU ARE NOT AlONE. You have friends here who understand what you are feeling. Stick with the program and reach out for help when you need it.
Your friend.
Marcie K
I was just looking through the posts this morning and I came across yours. I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time. I just wanted you to know that I understand what you are feeling. Lesson 3 in the program was a hard one for me to get also. We've been telling ourselves for so long that we aren't good enough. And that horrible negative thought just takes over. I found for me the journaling was so helpful. I know that things are bad but how about writing down some of the good things?....like your accomplishments as a teacher. You studied hard to get your certificate and you will find a job. Be patient and kind to yourself.You are so deserving of everything that life has to offer. Keep the positive switch on and move forward with your life. WE all have bad days, weeks, and even years. YOU ARE NOT AlONE. You have friends here who understand what you are feeling. Stick with the program and reach out for help when you need it.
Your friend.
Marcie K
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Guest
I've seen this written here before and I really believe it helps... fake it til you make it.
For session 3 I think that means to really write down the negative thoughts and change it to something more positive, even if you don't believe it... do it! In time, you will start to believe the positive thoughts.
Another great thing to do is to find 5-10 things to be grateful for each day, whether it's the sun coming up, the fact that you still have a family to turn to - even if they are negative, and that you have a phone you can use to call friends just to find out how they are doing. Anything positive to be grateful for - think it, write it down - put it up on the bathroom mirror! Also, keep the positive self talk going - "I am a great problem solver. I am courageous." etc.
As far as the job goes, you'll get one in the right time. One thing you can work on is being sure to look at the positive things you've done in the past that make you a good teacher. The fact that you have substitute experience, your dedication to it and to the work it took to get your certification. Think about how great it is you did these things and BELIEVE how great it is you did these things. The belief in yourself and that you CAN do the job well is what will shine through so well. So, pump yourself up before each encounter with a potential employer and your great qualities will shine through.
Do this with a friend or former co-worker or even former classmate if you need to. That works wonders for the self esteem.
I know because I went through it recently and initially couldn't say ONE positive thing about my past experiences. By the end of our conversation, I turned it into a totally positive experience and felt a ton better about my qualifications!
Best wishes to you. Hang in there and when you've had a week of working on session 3, move on to session 4. Continue working on changing the negative thoughts to positive ones - ON PAPER - 4 a day - for the rest of the program!
For session 3 I think that means to really write down the negative thoughts and change it to something more positive, even if you don't believe it... do it! In time, you will start to believe the positive thoughts.
Another great thing to do is to find 5-10 things to be grateful for each day, whether it's the sun coming up, the fact that you still have a family to turn to - even if they are negative, and that you have a phone you can use to call friends just to find out how they are doing. Anything positive to be grateful for - think it, write it down - put it up on the bathroom mirror! Also, keep the positive self talk going - "I am a great problem solver. I am courageous." etc.
As far as the job goes, you'll get one in the right time. One thing you can work on is being sure to look at the positive things you've done in the past that make you a good teacher. The fact that you have substitute experience, your dedication to it and to the work it took to get your certification. Think about how great it is you did these things and BELIEVE how great it is you did these things. The belief in yourself and that you CAN do the job well is what will shine through so well. So, pump yourself up before each encounter with a potential employer and your great qualities will shine through.
Do this with a friend or former co-worker or even former classmate if you need to. That works wonders for the self esteem.
I know because I went through it recently and initially couldn't say ONE positive thing about my past experiences. By the end of our conversation, I turned it into a totally positive experience and felt a ton better about my qualifications!
Best wishes to you. Hang in there and when you've had a week of working on session 3, move on to session 4. Continue working on changing the negative thoughts to positive ones - ON PAPER - 4 a day - for the rest of the program!
I read your post and just wanted to mention a quick comment. I know someone who went through teachers collage and substitute taught for 2 years and never got a contract position.
This same person is substituting today and now realizes that perhaps that's what she was suppose to do. She doesn't have the stress of a fulltime teaching position and the headaches of the staff.
So, take a look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. You are doing great just by telling your story. I know things can look bleak, but a journey of a 1000 miles begins with one single step.
Zoe
This same person is substituting today and now realizes that perhaps that's what she was suppose to do. She doesn't have the stress of a fulltime teaching position and the headaches of the staff.
So, take a look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. You are doing great just by telling your story. I know things can look bleak, but a journey of a 1000 miles begins with one single step.
Zoe
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!
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Guest
The good news is you are back here. I did get stuck on Session Three, too. When I decided to get myself on to Session Four, I kept the CD for Three in my car. When I drive somewhere, I listen to it. I still journal negative things that hang me up. My journal is getting less full, and that is my progress. I spend most of my time alone, too. My friends all live in the city, which is well over an hour drive. I live out on a ranch, and it is more beautiful here than imaginable. But it is also isolated, and when things go wrong, or terribly wrong, I'm it. I am the chief of everything, including having to bury my best friend, a beloved pet, this past weekend. I can rail against it all (which I give myself permission to do occasionally) or I can do what has already been said here. I can make a note of all that is good in my life, and smile. If I don't feel like smiling, that is okay, but if I make myself smile (fake it) I begin to feel like truly smiling. And Session Three will hang you up. So journal those negatives until you get a handle on them. And please hang in here. I did, you can, too. Please do that.