Support circle for depression
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noname_2520
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 11:05 pm
Hi, i'm restarting the program again. I keep getting stuck and i feel trapped on session 3 positive self-talk. I started session 3 today again and hopefully i can get past this and onto the next session. I tend to give up when i get to session 3. I also have a very bad horific past that the memories keep creeping in and when i write in my journal i'm constantly crying and when i do positive self-talk outloud i'm always crying. I guess maybe it's because i have all these memories buried yet and i tend to ignore it and push back in my mind so i can focus on the positive self-talk. Isn't this the way to do it? I've been told so many times to forget the past and to stay in reality and focus on the now-today. And beside in the Word of God it says to in Phillippians 3:12-14. Right? I've also tried suicide enough times and the last was last time was last year and I basically told the Lord I wouldn't do it anymore-I promised. I really want to change and I understand that positive thoughts produces positve feelings. It's just hard-sooo hard to keep doing it every minute and every day. The feelings don't come-just numbness. This cloud doesn't seem to lift. It's also very hard to be a good mother and wife. I feel like I failed so horibaly and all because of the past-the way i look at it because of all they've done to me I now can't handle the ups,downs,the bad, the good, and the ugly in life=all that life brings. I can't keep up. I'm also alone-my mom and dad,etc abandoned me and the only support is my husband who had enough of my junk and my kids who are young and i hope their not digesting my junk. How can I heal? I keep pleading with God and yet no reply. So I think I was born to be so badly abused and hurt the way i was so viciously by so many people whom He put in charge of me to love, take care of me, support me, etc....I was born to live this life it seems. I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to change-It's like I keep hitting a brick wall constantly. I'm 41 years old-it's about time to get past this. I don't know what else to do, but to master my positive self-talk. Thanks for hearing.
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Mary Wargo
- Posts: 274
- Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:37 pm
Dervish - Yes it's possible to complete the program and have your thoughts turn to a more positive theme. I would suggest writing down your questions you mentioned in your post and answering them. "What do I need?, What do I want?, What steps can I take to help myself?, What action can I take to alleviate these unwanted negative thoughts?" etc. Taking a proactive approach will build self confidence and show you that yes- you do have some control over all this. Re focus your thoughts from the negative self defeating ones to a more action oriented theme that will have answers to your questions and you will see what a difference it will make. Asking yourself "why am I like this?" will have you going in circles, and sometimes with no answers. Asking yourself "What steps can I take every day to change this?" will make you feel a whole lot more empowered. None of this is a quick miracle for change but persistence, diligence, and repetition will win out in the end. It did for me. Good luck to you.
Hi Mary! You were another one of my "Angels" on this program. So happy to see your post. You always took time to offer guidance, offer assistance, and I needed both often. Thank you!
Hi 0 (Jupiter 7). I am saddened by the intensity of your situation. I worked Session 3 three times before I could get a good handle on self talk. I read your post twice, and kept wondering if you are stuck in your own history. History is the past, and as much as all of us would like to re-do much of it, we cannot. We cannot live in tomorrow, either, as it is truly not here until tomorrow. This program is excellent, yet I wonder if you might gain the full benefits more if you could learn to bring your focus to the moment you are in. None of us can just ignore our history. And so much of what has made us suffer is also the catalyst that brings us to want to change, to be capable of taking the actions necessary to change. You are here because you want change. Please don't give up. I know you have suffered, but you are seeking a more peaceful mind, a more satisfying life, and you can do this. One minute at a time. I wish you the best.
P.S. Please read Mary Wargo's reply to Dervish. Write down those questions and answer them in your journal. Remember that what we practice, we get very good at. Practice training your mind to view your life differently. If you practice this enough, you will get very good, not only with comforting self talk, but with a comfortable, peaceful attitude.
Hi 0 (Jupiter 7). I am saddened by the intensity of your situation. I worked Session 3 three times before I could get a good handle on self talk. I read your post twice, and kept wondering if you are stuck in your own history. History is the past, and as much as all of us would like to re-do much of it, we cannot. We cannot live in tomorrow, either, as it is truly not here until tomorrow. This program is excellent, yet I wonder if you might gain the full benefits more if you could learn to bring your focus to the moment you are in. None of us can just ignore our history. And so much of what has made us suffer is also the catalyst that brings us to want to change, to be capable of taking the actions necessary to change. You are here because you want change. Please don't give up. I know you have suffered, but you are seeking a more peaceful mind, a more satisfying life, and you can do this. One minute at a time. I wish you the best.
P.S. Please read Mary Wargo's reply to Dervish. Write down those questions and answer them in your journal. Remember that what we practice, we get very good at. Practice training your mind to view your life differently. If you practice this enough, you will get very good, not only with comforting self talk, but with a comfortable, peaceful attitude.
Hi, everyone.....I think that I have been depressed for most of my life. I am 65 years of age and became aware of my depression when I stopped drinking alcohol which has been about 20 years. I have been on a lot of different medications. Some have helped a little. Right now I am taking luvox and the good days herbal. I am pretty sure that my depression at first was caused by the negative messeges that I got as a kid. Then it got worse due to my behavior when drinking, and the remorse afterward. I'm not sure why the depression continues today. Maybe it's due to the pattern of my thinking. I have an appointment with a dr. tomorrow....hopefully he will prescribe something that works well for me. I do try to work the program....but I have a tendency to over analyze and I tell myself that it isn't working, etc. etc. Today I am motivated to come to these forums to vent my feelings. Thank you all.
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Guest
Welcome EJR:
I think you will benefit from the forum. I know I have. It is a kind of 'talk therapy'.
And there are many who share our history of depression. They will share tips with you
to help you overcome some of the negative
thoughts. The program offers many tools as well which with practive can help.
My experience is very simular to yours.
I'd say keep posting and keep trying with the program.
Best wishes.
MJ
I think you will benefit from the forum. I know I have. It is a kind of 'talk therapy'.
And there are many who share our history of depression. They will share tips with you
to help you overcome some of the negative
thoughts. The program offers many tools as well which with practive can help.
My experience is very simular to yours.
I'd say keep posting and keep trying with the program.
Best wishes.
MJ
Well I listened to the relaxation cd hoping it would help relax me enough to go to sleep. I guess I am still too stressed for it to work. I still have problems with my ex contacting me about other things that don't have to do with my boys. He gets them on weekends. I can't keep using talk to my lawyer when the divorce is final so I am at a loss for what to do.
I missed my appt (Monday)with my counselor so she called the sheriffs office and they came pounding on my door. My ex talked to my boys' counselor that he thinks I'm still suicidal and he suggested to call my counselor. Of course my counselor can't tell him anything but she listened to what he had to say. Hence the sheriffs officer pounding on my door.
I called my counselor and rescheduled my appt for Thursday and went to the appt. The same day(Monday)the sheriffs came I got a call from my therapist who scheduled an appt for the Wednesday. I went to the appt and told her what was going on with my divorce, bankruptcy, unemployment and my ex. I was really depressed that day so she decided I needed another medication. I feel like I am in a fog most of the time now. With 2 teenage boys that doesn't work well. It is a side effect she says will pass. I did sleep better for a few nights now I'm back to a couple of hours a night and then exhausted and having to take a nap during the afternoon. I just don't know if all this medication is making things worse or not. My therapist wanted to hospitalize me but I don't want to do that. I fear that when I apply for jobs they will find out and not hire me. Plus my ex is looking for any excuse to take my boys away from me. My therapist discussed where she thinks I'm at with my suicidal thoughts and asked how I would do it and whether I had the meds to. I told her overdose and yes I did.
I had the appt with my counselor the next day and she is going to put me on weekly dosing so I don't have a chance of doing anything.
It has been a rough week. Then I got my final divorce papers and my name is misspelled in almost all of it and things are not like they were explained to me. So now I have to deal with my lawyer again, who I think failed me. I guess I have some pretty big issues I have to face, that I don't want to. I feel very overwhelmed which causes me more depression which leads to suicidal thoughts.
I need some more people I can talk to. My parents try to help but I scare them. They live in Arizona so it is not easy for them to get here. I talk to my best friend but she doesn't know what to say. I hope someone has some suggestions.
I called my counselor and rescheduled my appt for Thursday and went to the appt. The same day(Monday)the sheriffs came I got a call from my therapist who scheduled an appt for the Wednesday. I went to the appt and told her what was going on with my divorce, bankruptcy, unemployment and my ex. I was really depressed that day so she decided I needed another medication. I feel like I am in a fog most of the time now. With 2 teenage boys that doesn't work well. It is a side effect she says will pass. I did sleep better for a few nights now I'm back to a couple of hours a night and then exhausted and having to take a nap during the afternoon. I just don't know if all this medication is making things worse or not. My therapist wanted to hospitalize me but I don't want to do that. I fear that when I apply for jobs they will find out and not hire me. Plus my ex is looking for any excuse to take my boys away from me. My therapist discussed where she thinks I'm at with my suicidal thoughts and asked how I would do it and whether I had the meds to. I told her overdose and yes I did.
I had the appt with my counselor the next day and she is going to put me on weekly dosing so I don't have a chance of doing anything.
It has been a rough week. Then I got my final divorce papers and my name is misspelled in almost all of it and things are not like they were explained to me. So now I have to deal with my lawyer again, who I think failed me. I guess I have some pretty big issues I have to face, that I don't want to. I feel very overwhelmed which causes me more depression which leads to suicidal thoughts.
I need some more people I can talk to. My parents try to help but I scare them. They live in Arizona so it is not easy for them to get here. I talk to my best friend but she doesn't know what to say. I hope someone has some suggestions.
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Guest
Good morning, Suz:
Go back and read Pecos' reply to you on Janusry 12th.
You are facing a lot, Suz, but I know you can get through this.
You really can. You are much stronger than you think.
I know that you were married for 19 years and it seems like this is all too much now. But your thoughts are lying to you. You still have lots of life before you and your life will not center around all that pain you feel.
For right now get in touch with something solid in this present moment. Feel the floor under your feet. Hear the sounds around you right now. Feel what is touching you right now.
Sometimes more medication isn't the answer. I can't guide you on that. But remember that you are in control of what you take.
Make a gratitude list. You can be glad that your boys are now teenagers. This would all be much harder if they were very small and needed constant care. (I've been there too).
I have one more tip. Try prayer. It is far more powerful than you can imagine.
In meantime go back and read the posting by Pecos.
My best wishes for you.
MJ
Go back and read Pecos' reply to you on Janusry 12th.
You are facing a lot, Suz, but I know you can get through this.
You really can. You are much stronger than you think.
I know that you were married for 19 years and it seems like this is all too much now. But your thoughts are lying to you. You still have lots of life before you and your life will not center around all that pain you feel.
For right now get in touch with something solid in this present moment. Feel the floor under your feet. Hear the sounds around you right now. Feel what is touching you right now.
Sometimes more medication isn't the answer. I can't guide you on that. But remember that you are in control of what you take.
Make a gratitude list. You can be glad that your boys are now teenagers. This would all be much harder if they were very small and needed constant care. (I've been there too).
I have one more tip. Try prayer. It is far more powerful than you can imagine.
In meantime go back and read the posting by Pecos.
My best wishes for you.
MJ
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Guest
Suz65:
Here is a verse from the bible that helped me a lot. I'm hoping that it will encourage you.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.".
Jeremiah 29:11. (NKJV)
And verse 13 continues:
"and you will seek Me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart".
The Living Bible says it a little differently.
It says "I know the plans I have for you. says the Lord. For good and not for evil."
There is One who is looking after you, Suz. You don't have to be afraid. He is ready to give you the strength you need.
I really believe this.
Be at peace.
MJ
Here is a verse from the bible that helped me a lot. I'm hoping that it will encourage you.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.".
Jeremiah 29:11. (NKJV)
And verse 13 continues:
"and you will seek Me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart".
The Living Bible says it a little differently.
It says "I know the plans I have for you. says the Lord. For good and not for evil."
There is One who is looking after you, Suz. You don't have to be afraid. He is ready to give you the strength you need.
I really believe this.
Be at peace.
MJ
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noname_2520
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 11:05 pm
Suz65: Here's what helped me! I know your in a tough place-I tell ya-I sure know how it is I've been there to and this is recently. Hang in there for the One who created you knows you for He knit you together in your mother's womb and what's more wonderful than that is He thought of you before He created Heaven and earth. He created Heaven and Earth for us. I know this will help you-take great care-Graciously: Jupiter7
Thursday, July 31, 2008
My Thoughts vs. God's Word
By Melissa Taylor
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10 (NKJV)
Do you ever question if you are good enough? I do – I have all my life. Do you dwell more on what's wrong with you than what's right with you? I do that a lot too.
However, one day I realized I was only surveying myself to get those answers. Well, myself with a little help from my enemy, Satan. For a long time I didn't even recognize him for who he was. My negative thoughts and deceitful suggestions just sounded like my own voice.
The Bible opens with the warning of a serpent slithering into the lives of Adam and Eve, filling their heads with lies that separated them from God. They chose to believe the lies. Jesus, too, was tempted by this liar. He was ready though. He knew the Word of God and that was the only weapon He needed to defeat the evil one.
I know I’m not Jesus, but I can strive to be like Him. I find great comfort in knowing He is with me every step of the way. I can also find great comfort knowing I have the same weapon that He had. I have God's Word available to me in the Bible.
When I compared my negative thoughts to God's Word, I was amazed at the differences:
My thoughts tell me to give up.
God's Word tells me to be committed. Matthew 5:33-37
My thoughts tell me “I need it now!”
God's Word tells me to exercise self-control. Galatians 5:23
My thoughts tell me I deserve to come first, be selfish.
God's Word tells me to have humility and put others first. Philippians 2:3-4
My thoughts tell me to get mad and hold a grudge.
God's Word says forgive as many times as it takes. Matthew 18:21-22
My thoughts tell me to seek revenge.
God's Word tells me to be a peacemaker. Romans 12:18-19
My thoughts tell me take all the credit.
God's Word tells me to glorify Jesus Christ. John 17:5
My thoughts tell me I need to look good on the outside and no one will notice the ugly inside. God's Word tells me to be pure on the inside and the outside won't even matter. Proverbs 31:30
My thoughts tell me I'm ugly.
God's Word tells me I'm wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
My thoughts tell me I'm all alone and no one understands me.
God's Word tells me He will never leave me and He knows the plans He has for me. Deuteronomy 31:6, Jeremiah 29:11
My thoughts tell me that I'm just not good enough.
God's Word tells me that I'm His gift to the world and that I was created in His image. Psalm 127:3, Genesis 1:26
I learned the lies must be replaced with Words that are true. That way, when Satan’s lies slither back into my head, I'm ready and I can defeat the enemy.
I admit this has been a challenge for me. I'm so thankful that: I have friends in place who know I struggle with this to remind me of my true identity; I was brave enough to seek counseling when I needed help; I learned that anxiety and depression were not always my fault and I was open to receive medical attention from a professional in this area; my family, especially my husband, who stood beside me even when I was miserable to be around; and, each time I felt like quitting or giving up, I never did.
I don't want to waste time that God has given me to live with negative thoughts about myself and lies that aren't true. That only keeps me from Him and keeps me from the work He has purposed me for. Evaluate your thoughts. Condemning thoughts are not from God. Renew your mind with the Word of God. Do not allow the enemy to separate you from the love of God and the life that was meant for you.
Dear Lord, Fill me with Your Word so that I can live in freedom. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?
Becoming a Woman Who Listens to God by Sharon Jaynes
Hope in the Midst of Depression: How to Embrace Life Again by Mary Southerland
Visit Melissa’s blog: I Am Beautiful
Application Steps:
Read the verses in this devotion and write down what God's Word says.
Reflections:
Are your thoughts reflective of who you really are?
Do you look at yourself the way God looks at you?
Power Verses:
Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (NIV)
Romans 8:1, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (NIV)
posted on 5:30 AM
Thursday, July 31, 2008
My Thoughts vs. God's Word
By Melissa Taylor
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10 (NKJV)
Do you ever question if you are good enough? I do – I have all my life. Do you dwell more on what's wrong with you than what's right with you? I do that a lot too.
However, one day I realized I was only surveying myself to get those answers. Well, myself with a little help from my enemy, Satan. For a long time I didn't even recognize him for who he was. My negative thoughts and deceitful suggestions just sounded like my own voice.
The Bible opens with the warning of a serpent slithering into the lives of Adam and Eve, filling their heads with lies that separated them from God. They chose to believe the lies. Jesus, too, was tempted by this liar. He was ready though. He knew the Word of God and that was the only weapon He needed to defeat the evil one.
I know I’m not Jesus, but I can strive to be like Him. I find great comfort in knowing He is with me every step of the way. I can also find great comfort knowing I have the same weapon that He had. I have God's Word available to me in the Bible.
When I compared my negative thoughts to God's Word, I was amazed at the differences:
My thoughts tell me to give up.
God's Word tells me to be committed. Matthew 5:33-37
My thoughts tell me “I need it now!”
God's Word tells me to exercise self-control. Galatians 5:23
My thoughts tell me I deserve to come first, be selfish.
God's Word tells me to have humility and put others first. Philippians 2:3-4
My thoughts tell me to get mad and hold a grudge.
God's Word says forgive as many times as it takes. Matthew 18:21-22
My thoughts tell me to seek revenge.
God's Word tells me to be a peacemaker. Romans 12:18-19
My thoughts tell me take all the credit.
God's Word tells me to glorify Jesus Christ. John 17:5
My thoughts tell me I need to look good on the outside and no one will notice the ugly inside. God's Word tells me to be pure on the inside and the outside won't even matter. Proverbs 31:30
My thoughts tell me I'm ugly.
God's Word tells me I'm wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
My thoughts tell me I'm all alone and no one understands me.
God's Word tells me He will never leave me and He knows the plans He has for me. Deuteronomy 31:6, Jeremiah 29:11
My thoughts tell me that I'm just not good enough.
God's Word tells me that I'm His gift to the world and that I was created in His image. Psalm 127:3, Genesis 1:26
I learned the lies must be replaced with Words that are true. That way, when Satan’s lies slither back into my head, I'm ready and I can defeat the enemy.
I admit this has been a challenge for me. I'm so thankful that: I have friends in place who know I struggle with this to remind me of my true identity; I was brave enough to seek counseling when I needed help; I learned that anxiety and depression were not always my fault and I was open to receive medical attention from a professional in this area; my family, especially my husband, who stood beside me even when I was miserable to be around; and, each time I felt like quitting or giving up, I never did.
I don't want to waste time that God has given me to live with negative thoughts about myself and lies that aren't true. That only keeps me from Him and keeps me from the work He has purposed me for. Evaluate your thoughts. Condemning thoughts are not from God. Renew your mind with the Word of God. Do not allow the enemy to separate you from the love of God and the life that was meant for you.
Dear Lord, Fill me with Your Word so that I can live in freedom. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?
Becoming a Woman Who Listens to God by Sharon Jaynes
Hope in the Midst of Depression: How to Embrace Life Again by Mary Southerland
Visit Melissa’s blog: I Am Beautiful
Application Steps:
Read the verses in this devotion and write down what God's Word says.
Reflections:
Are your thoughts reflective of who you really are?
Do you look at yourself the way God looks at you?
Power Verses:
Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (NIV)
Romans 8:1, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (NIV)
posted on 5:30 AM