Support circle for depression

lionguy · Post by **lionguy** » Fri Aug 27, 2010 8:44 am

I dont know if im in the right forum or not but heres my deal. I am a single male, just turned 40 on the 18th I have never been married, no kids, I lost my job 3 weeks ago, moved back in w/ mother.I have dealt with depression off n on for most of my life, so much that I think I just became accustom to the felling. I am basically emotional numb inside, but maintain a "happy" calm demeanor on the outside. now I have become an emotional roller coaster of anger, crying, lashing out, finding little things just setting me off. does listening to this actually help with long repressed, stuffed, unused emotions ? I'm not sure if I really know WHAT I'm feeling. I think I even forgotten how to bond/love/care on a close personal/friend level. can this program teach me how to HAVE emotions and not repress them ?

Bois d'Arc · Post by **Bois d'Arc** » Fri Aug 27, 2010 10:27 am

I'm not sure I understand this format. I am swirling the bowl of depression...doesn't anyone comment on the posts from the Stress Center?

noname_2520 · Post by **noname_2520** » Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:06 pm

Hi Uluvnic

I too have obsessive thoughts-and now-presently their not as bad as they use to be in the past. For me, I did what I didn't want to do which was go on meds-i'm now taking peroxateine(generic form of paxill) and abilify. I'm on a low dose for each right now. I didn't want to go this route but, I was encouraged by a person at my church-believeing God does heal through meds. My life is alot better now-i'm definitely more happier- I also along with the meds started reading my bible everyday for at least 15 minutes-if I had more time than I spend more time reading the bible which is spending time with Jesus. I also use bible scriptures (positive) with the negative thoughts which was really hard at first. Now it's beem alot of months and now I'm seeing the benefits of all the hard work i've been putting in replacing my negative thoughts with scripture (positive). I also was assured it does take time-I've been an obsessive thinker since a very little child due to abuse by my parents that really messed me up big time. Now at 42 years old i finally am seeing the beneftis of scripture (healing) in my life:my thinking patterns are now alot better; my attitude has changed for the better; my relationships with my kids and husband are alot better also, and the list goes on. I'm now teaching my kids to use scripture to change their negative thoughts and when they do that their attitude will change for the better, as well as their behavior,and the list goes on. So keep pressing on in-it will take time to get rid of those thoughts: it's a process and you will get there and I admit it sure was hard and not easy that's when i even started telling God what thoughts I was having and how i felt about it,etc... the more it-the thoughts bothered me the more I told Him all about it and eventually It went away. I also felt the same way-the hamster. I even started talking and hanging with positive people that were sympathetic toward me. I also started praising-thanking God when I had a negative obsessive thought even though i didn't want to yet i did and that helped alot or me. I will keep you in my prayers and I pray and hope this will help you. I'm also saying I'm not perfect-I still have obsessive negative thoughts-but i'm not obsessiving over it like i use to I just repeat these things that i mentioned over and over again and it sure makes a difference and my faith is alot stronger now. I even listen to (hymns)praise songs more often now than I did in the past which also helps alot puts my mind at ease. Also, I mentioned in the past if you wanted me to mail you -the bible study book that I got at church (of Romans) that helped me tremendously-I will give you my e-mail address and than you can send me your address and I'll mail it to you-that is if you want me to-'cause i'm more than gladly to for i know and believe it will help you like how it helped me in my mind and thoughts: rmlgarza@charter.net-take

care -Graciously: Jupiter7

Lindalee · Post by **Lindalee** » Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:23 pm

Lionguy,
It sounds like you're going through a really rough time. Many of us are. My husband lost his job 5 months ago, and can't find work, neither can I. Our house is up for sale but no one is even looking at it. But I am going to fight this depression, the one in my head and the economic one. I'm really trying this program. I did it half heartedly early spring and got some help but not that much. This time its all in. I'm doing it faithfully,that is the only way I will really know if this program can work, if I totally try it.

uluvnic · Post by **uluvnic** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 8:43 pm

I don't really understand your question because we're at the Stress Center now...these are posts on one of the forums in the Stress Center.

Originally posted by Bois d'Arc:
I'm not sure I understand this format. I am swirling the bowl of depression...doesn't anyone comment on the posts from the Stress Center?

uluvnic · Post by **uluvnic** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 9:01 pm

I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I cannot handle stress like I used to. I am weepy, sleepy, and on an emotional rollarcoaster. I feel like I'm falling in love with the guy I'm seeing but we keep going through little "tests" which is making it hard. I feel like I'm living in fear that he is going to change his mind...I just don't feel like I can have my heart broken yet again. I don't know what I'll do. Plus my best friend is in the hospital with scirrosis of the liver and she's so young. And I'm stressed out with school. I'm trying to get closer to God, or at least I say I do. I can't seem to finish anything I start. The only thing I've ever finished is school. I went to school for 8 years and came out with a BS. It took me DOUBLE time to get my degree. I know I'll finish school again. It's like school stresses me out, but it also keeps me from thinking about my depression. I keep saying I'm going to get help and I still haven't. I guess I'm waiting for a day off from school because I have to go to a certain place that does payments on a sliding scale.

Anyway, I just want to feel normal. I want to know what that feels like. I want to wake up and not even think about how I feel. I just want to feel mentally healthy. I guess I just need to make some calls. I've got to do something. I can't keep living this way.

Bois d'Arc · Post by **Bois d'Arc** » Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:37 am

I understand this is a forum of the Stress Center, but I am curious if it is just all of the searching souls communicating or if someone from the staff of StressCenter actually contributes. Seems odd that it is just people going through the program (which I am yet to receive after 10 days....)

uluvnic · Post by **uluvnic** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:57 pm

I don't think any staff comment. This is the only forum that I've kept up with on a somewhat regular basis because I get feedback from others doing the program. Since I haven't stuck with any other forum, I'm not sure if the staff normally comments or not...and unfortunately, I don't know who you should ask. lol I'm sorry!

Originally posted by Bois d'Arc:
I understand this is a forum of the Stress Center, but I am curious if it is just all of the searching souls communicating or if someone from the staff of StressCenter actually contributes. Seems odd that it is just people going through the program (which I am yet to receive after 10 days....)

noname_2520 · Post by **noname_2520** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 8:45 pm

Hi,yeah-i don't think the staff comments at all on this forum or any forums. In a way i wish they did so they could help out with the questions we all have. But, i know that once you get the program there is a 1-800# where you can call and talk to coaches who will help you with whatever it is you need help with. Jupiter7

noname_2520 · Post by **noname_2520** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:03 pm

uluvnic: hi-you sure got alot on your plate(heart and mind). What helped me alot and helped me kept my sanity when i was going throught the emotional rollercoaster is reading the bible every day and talking to God-letting Him know what i was feeling, what was happening in my life that i was not happy with, etc.. I read the Psalms alot which i was dealing with anger and I would read the Psalms (which most of them were written by King David)and i really read them outloud and in such anger that doing this everyday and at some times a couple of days helped me get the anger or whatever emotion i was dealing with at the time out. And also at the same time when we do this the Word of God is at the same time changing our heart and mind set -changing us forevermore. Even if it's a couple of paragraphs or to min,etc eventually you'll be reading more and more and thirsting for His Word that can and will change us if we spend time in Him. God loves you so much and wants to hear from you and to pour out His grace and mercy upon you and so wants to hear your troubles to happiness so he can go through it with you and uphold you as you go through it. Also, that is really great that you have a BS. Praise God. and remember to live by faith not by sight(includes feelings-our emotions)stand,trust,believe on the Word of God. God Bless you and all who are on your heart-Graciously, Jupiter