setbacks and moving forward

Anyone suffering from depression may post their history, experience, comments and/or suggestions. Please refrain from indepth discussions about medicines or other therapies.
Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by Iwillbebetter » Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:59 pm

Mosaic - I have been dealing a lot with the up and downs also. Don't let it get to you to much. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out "why" and I think that actually got me more "down". After Listening to session 8, I think she should have said it sooner, maybe you should just listen to the first part of that session even though you are not on it yet, you are close enough, I think you might be in the same spot I am as far as that goes. But basically it is because of where we are at in the program. All the things we are going threw. The attempts at facing things we have almost always ran from etc. I am thinking I may not be being compasionate enough with myself either. I am not recoginizing enough of what I DO. I am not recognizing enough of the "ups" because I am so busy trying to figure out the "downs". I think that is part of "the old us" wanting to keep us who we were and not let us learn who we really are. :) We can make it threw this. We can have more good days than bad :) and learn to laugh at the bad ones when they do make it around! :) We can find the rainbow and the end of the storm!! :)

Jcany-
Once upon a time my syptoms were daily. Sometimes to include all day. I often described it as feeling as though I was living in a dream. Like although I was there I wasn't really awake. I would have to agree with Nel, just know that it will pass and you will be ok. The program can help I am on session 8 and although I do have those feelings still at times, I know what they are so they don't scare me, and I can continue on and it does pass, it does go away.

Nel - nice to see you again :) Yes others do have their own ways, and that can make it harder at times, but the more we practice the better we will get :)

Lynda - good for you :) I had a similar experience over the weekend. There was womens confrence for church on Saturday. I had been trying not to, but I had it on my mind all week. The morning came and I almost talked myself out of going for many different reasons. But I went. On the way I even wanted to turn around, glad I keep my sessions in the car, popped in session 8, was at a great spot where she says, lets try a new spin on the "what if's" - what if I go to the party, and have a great time, make a new friend, feel good about myself afterwards. Or what if I do really good at the interview and get the job. etc. So I thought well yea what if I go and have a good time, what if I go and learn something new, what if I go and make a new friend etc... By the time I was there I was feeling pretty darn good, I found a woman I knew right away, then a few others came to sit with us, I had a great time, did end up making a couple new friends. I had seen the women at church before, actually thought maybe they didn't like me, of course silly me and my thoughts, they both knew my name, where very friendly approached me and started conversation. One of the women even came and sat by me Sunday at church :)
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

mosaic1989
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:39 pm
Location: Nebraska

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by mosaic1989 » Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:28 am

What incredible people you all are with such great insights. :D I really had a great week this week found a very positive diversion in doing some research on family history, really got me going. I found I got so tired (in a good way) that I didn't even notice some of the minor irritations. I know I will come back down to earth, but sometimes doing that thing that motivates your passions or curiosities, can really propel you into a wonderful place. I find I'm dealing with anger better too, finally able to catch myself before it gets full blown, I really needed that lesson this week it helped a lot. Progress is so back and forth but eventually we will move farther down the road to recovery. Changes are happening more than we even realize. Sometimes I get frustrated at the setbacks but it does provide an opportunity for growth and learning. We just gotta hang on and keep going. Life will never be perfect but we will be more functional in this weird, wonderful and wild world of ours. Take care and have a great weekend everyone. :D :D

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by Iwillbebetter » Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:03 am

I agree there are some amazing people that come here!! :) Glad you had a good week :) Yes finding something you are so pationate about can definately take to a different place!! :) I need to work on finding my passions again, I've spend so much time making everyone else happy or at least trying lol... I don't know what makes me happy anymore!! But I can learn!!

I can certianly agree with the back and forth. It's a 2 step forwards 1 step back. But I think you are right, we need the steps back, to help us to move forward. We are learning new things and we won't have them down right away, we need the trial and error to help get us where we are going!! Like a kid learning to walk, how many times do they fall down before learning to walk. They don't get discouraged the first time they fall and say forget it I can't do it, they simply get back up and do it again!!! They don't focus on what make them fall either (which I was doing for a couple weeks) they just get up and do it again until they are walking!! :) (Thanks for helping me with that "light bulb" moment :))
mosaic1989 wrote:Life will never be perfect but we will be more functional in this weird, wonderful and wild world of ours.
I love it :) :):)
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

mosaic1989
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:39 pm
Location: Nebraska

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by mosaic1989 » Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:22 am

After a frustrating weekend with my husband who has been picking at me, probably frustrated that I'm doing things different and out of routine. I swear he has OCD but would never admit it in a thousand years, oh we had a tornado warning and he thought I was crazy for going to the basement with the kids. He is so annoying sometimes. He is not going to get to me this time. I just appreciate having friends who support me and I know I'm not alone. Thanks so much. I'm going to be strong and I will overcome. Sometimes having a strong will is to our advantage. Thanks again. :D

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by Iwillbebetter » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:10 pm

mosaic1989 wrote: probably frustrated that I'm doing things different and out of routine.
I wouldn't doubt if you are dead on that one!!

And good for you, don't let it get to you!! There is nothing wrong with going to the basement when there is a tornado warning!! You love your family and yourself and intend to keep them safe when presented with danger or the possibility of it!!
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

mosaic1989
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:39 pm
Location: Nebraska

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by mosaic1989 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:17 pm

Thanks! :D

mosaic1989
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:39 pm
Location: Nebraska

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by mosaic1989 » Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:03 pm

Haven't been here in a little, bit but doing pretty good this week. It's been busy, have helped with three funeral dinners at our church. It was a good opportunity to be around people I'm not completely familiar with and I felt good about being able to participating in it. Forced me to get myself going a bit more. Got a new hobby working on the family genealogy of our family, I really get into that and sometimes don't know when to quit. I'm working on my lessons better, last week I had some kind of bug and didn't get anything done. I decided to get off the herbs I was taking and I feel more steady than I had been, not sure if they had any effect, but I don't think they helped that much. Life is full on ups and downs, but really I'm up for just cruising for a while. Life is good, love the spring weather. Hope everyone is well. :D

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by LyndaLu » Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:50 pm

Last week I had relatives visiting for a couple of days and I was busy with that. I tried to use my newly learned

skills while they were here ( I am currently on Session Five ) but I don't think I did too well. :?


I had a big problem driving my mom's car because I hate driving her car and so I complained about that a lot.

Sort of a stupid complaint and I am an adult but I just was not comfortable driving that big car. :shock:

I had to drive that car for two days and also to and from the airport.


I worried for two weeks before my relatives arrived in town about driving that stupid car to and from

the airport. I cannot believe that I did that, worried about something for two weeks before it was even

going to happen and expecting the worst scenario ! I was originally supposed to pick up my relatives at the

airport at midnight, yes midnight. I sure did not want to drive that big car at night to a strange airport

terminal at midnight. I worried myself to death just thinking about it.


Well, guess what happened......

my relatives plane was delayed and they did not arrive in town until the following morning. I worried

all of that time about driving the big car at night to the airport and in the end I did not even have to

drive the big car at night. I DID have to drive the big car, but I did not have to drive at night. I drove

the big car to the airport in the morning, daylight, which was a good thing because I had a hard time

finding the airport terminal. All in all, everything turned out okay and I worried for two weeks about

nothing. Talk about anticipatory anxiety and catastrophizing :!:


I had a nice visit with my relatives and the two days they were in town were enjoyable ones.

My niece and two great-nieces ( the "relatives" ) are so easy going that they made the

whole visit even easier for myself and my mom. All was okay for the two days and my mom

and myself worried ourselves over nothing :o .


Lynda

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by LyndaLu » Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:59 pm

I have been depressed and lonely the past 11 days or so. My relatives
left town to go back home and Easter weekend was not much to
talk about. I am trying to get interested in Session Six
and have listened to the Session CD twice but haven't touched the
workbook. I am not journaling EVERY day, but I AM still journaling.
I just started to read the Sam Obitz book everyone talks about.
I am hoping that this week I will have a "moving forward" moment
that will propel me ahead on the program as well as improving
the "mood" I am in. I have been looking for a job for a long while
now and I think the past two weeks have been pretty dull and
uneventful. Next week I DO have three short computer classes to
attend and that is giving me something to look forward to, but that
is a week from now. Guess I will have to hold on until then.
Lynda

mosaic1989
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:39 pm
Location: Nebraska

Re: setbacks and moving forward

Post by mosaic1989 » Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:05 pm

Lynda,

I don't know what happens but I think sometimes it's hard to keep with it, not having the enthusiasm I had in the beginning but I think we are incorporating more of these things into our lives than we realize. Sometimes I think we have to do things in a little different way. One source of support can be is the email devotions to help motivate and talk about issues we are struggling with.
http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/03/15/ ... /#more-421

http://zerotolerancetonegativethinking.com/ lots of good articles

Something my coach sent me by email
THE DAILY MOTIVATOR


Get through it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other side of the challenge is value. Get through it,
and get the value.

Though the effort makes you weary, it also makes you strong.
Get through it, and enjoy the full benefit of that strength.


You've already made it this far, and you've already
established some good momentum. To get through it, just keep
going.

Keep going, though the urge to quit may be strong. Keep
going, get through it and get the rewards you've earned.

Get through it, not by fighting but by accepting and
persisting in each moment. Get through it, not with
resentment for what you must do but with gratitude for what
you can accomplish.

You have what it takes, because what it takes is simply
making one step, and then the next, and then the next. Step
forward, get through it, and bring your own unique value
more fully to life.

Ralph Marston

............................................................................
This is the Daily Motivator email edition.
Copyright (C) 2012 Ralph S. Marston, Jr. All rights reserved.
Visit The Daily Motivator web site at http://greatday.com for an archive
of more than 3,000 daily messages, inspirational photos and more.

Personally I've been struggling with not feeling well for about the last month but now feeling a lot better. One day I got really depressed and wondered if this way doing me any good at all and I realized that I have made progress and do look at things differently so I got back into the compassionate self talk and realized I can't stop what I've started. And what am I really trying to accomplish, a better self and outlook. So what if I'm not taking on huge challenges I'm making progress and small steps lead to bigger steps. Spring time for me has always been somewhat difficult, and have no idea why. I love all the green and color but something about it I notice April has always been challenging for me. I think sometimes it has to do with all the changes all at once, I guess I deal with change better if it happens slowly. I guess that way I can handle it better. But I know I'm doing better this year than I have in previous years due to the program. I was just always drifting. We just have to not give up on ourselves, and we can't lose. Take care and don't lose heart you will get the motivation you need to keep going. I think were all on a very interesting journey but sometimes we feel like we are not moving at all. Wishing you all well we will get there. :D

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