Lonely Heart Syndrome

monty'smom · Post by **monty'smom** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:50 am

Hi Everyone,
I held off replying to this post for a few days because I am currently part of a couple but having said that I do want to add something I lived.

I was married 15 years, had 2 wonderfull children, was a stay at home Mom for most of the 15 years, But I'll tell you that I was one of the lonely people in my marriage. I was not happy, my ex husband spent a great deal of his time off sleeping sitting up, we didn't communicate with each other, I remember crying a lot and saying out loud God please there has to be more to life than this. We can be with someone and yet feel more alone than being alone.

That's all I wanted to say.

Your lives will all fal into place, you will find the right partner when it's the right time, enjoy every day to the fullest and never stop believing in yourself.

God Bless

seawolf · Post by **seawolf** » Sat Sep 27, 2008 3:04 am

hi racheal81
i am just getting started with the program and don't know if you'd think i have to right to say anything to you.... but i do have alot of life experince and can offer a little bit to you..... you are where u r surpose to be... and YES being alone(single) is very very tuff... but just try to image being with someone you are NOT meant to be with and going through what you are going through.... not to mention but i will... your door would be closed and NOT open to the right person for you. I keep that in mind as i try to stuggle to do things by myself... and to keep myself busy... which stinks. But i have also been with the wrong company just to have company.... most days time just tick by.. hang in there maybe a good support group from in here will help you.. and you did take the 1st right step bu posting your true feelings (which is always very hard to do) hang in there even if but minute by minute

Lazzzycat · Post by **Lazzzycat** » Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:27 am

Hi Racheal and everyone else,

This has to be the most gut wrenching posts I have read. I never knew there were so many people out there who suffer with the same agonizing feelings of loneliness that I do.

You all are so smart to stay away from the wrong people just for the sake of having a relationship. Now that I look back upon my life I realize that has been a problem for me. I have gotten into many relationships because I wanted to be loved so much...even though I knew they were not right for me...and it would back fire everytime and send me into a downward spiral.

I do know that for me, the longer I am alone, without a man...and the more the passion for the one that I had lost fades...thing get better...I am able to regain my control over my emotions and I am happier. But the minute a potential mate steps into my life...BAMB! I freak out!!!! And by that I mean, I lose control because I can't trust and my thoughts tell me that I am not loveable and that this person is just using me, etc. etc. Well, you get the picture. Then things fall apart and that is when the panic attacks and depression hit me full throttle. That is what I am dealing with at this moment.

Anyway...to read about all of your suffering caused me to break down and cry. I know I need to get a hold of myself and accept the fact that I may never find love...but it is so hard. I am afraid of the thought of living the rest of my life alone. I really don't want to do that. But, we don't always get what we want...and sometimes that is a good thing!

I am just so sorry that there is so much suffering out there and I wish you all well. I hope that through this program we can all overcome our pain... and become strong and independent so that if our fate dictates that love just isn't going to happen we will be okay. Maybe it will be easier that way...who knows. All I know is that I want to have a good life and I want to be happy no matter what. Lazzzycat

Shalini · Post by **Shalini** » Tue Sep 30, 2008 6:03 am

OMG so now we have to come to terms that I may never find love again...I've only had the one chance and it was the wrong one. What have done in my life not to deserve true love. This is not fair..I going to have to settle then?

TheOptimisticPessimist · Post by **TheOptimisticPessimist** » Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:16 am

Shalini, I read what you wrote above and understand your frustration!

true love..one who puts your emotions before their own. I've never felt what that feels like.

For people like us it is sometimes hard to understand why/how someone we love can be so distant from our needs. After many years of coping and learning I realize that I may be looking/expecting someone who is absolutely perfect. Guess what she does not exist!! Nothing in this world is perfect...I took an approach to really look at relationships from the other person's perspective and you know it helped me realize areas that I could work on. I hope this response makes some sense...I am working on a couple things at the same time

Just love yourself so that you someday will love someone else.

justagirl · Post by **justagirl** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:25 am

Hey Rachel,

I also wanted to let you know, you are not alone. I'm 26 years old and single, and can relate to everything you are saying. I have men pursue me and I shut them out because I'm so freaked out about whatever is wrong w/ me. I'm struggling to get out of this depression and anxiety. I have a million thoughts flying through my head everyday, it's scary. Though I don't wish anxiety/depression on anyone, I have to say it is nice to see that I'm not alone in this struggle. It sure feels like it somedays, though I have so many wonderful friends and family, it's hard for me to let myself get too close anymore. I don't want everyone to know I'm having problems and I don't want to bring anyone down w/ me and the negativity, depression, and anxiety I'm fighting on a daily basis.
I like how you use the word monster for it, it fits perfectly. I'm fighting this monster daily, and look forward to a day of victory. I pray it will come soon for myself and everyone else!

Take care friends...