Taking a trip for the first time in a VERY long time...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Apr 13, 2010 5:03 pm

My turn tomorrow - driving 53 miles each way, to take my daughter to visit a university. Not on interstates... just state highways (generally hilly winding 2-lane things through woods, around here).

And I almost didn't post that, for fear that I'll fail and come home in defeat and not want anyone to know.

So I'm posting anyway and I'll make it there tomorrow.

Wish me luck...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Apr 13, 2010 7:58 pm

Hey, if I can do it, anyone can! U can do it! A tip from someone who just went thru it, don't let yourself get negative. Take ur relaxation audio, it really helped me. Also, don't get discouraged if u feel like pulling off for a break. It's a long drive, and everyone gets stiff and uneasy at times. Just remember, u can do it! There's nothing better than feeling the panic and knowing u can keep going! Good luck! U got this! Can't wait to hear how it went!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 14, 2010 5:47 am

We didn't go. It really is still too much for me, and my daughter hadn't done her homework on the schools.

Well, at least we decided not to go, instead of my going partway and failing...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:53 pm

you coulda just taken a cab

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 16, 2010 3:12 am

Hi Gisette, don't you get down on yourself. You will make it to the place where you can make the drive. Pressuring yourself will only add more stress. Remember to take baby steps, tiny baby steps if necessary. I believe in you and I know you will do it eventually. We all still have struggles that we deal with and have to overcome. Don't forget you are on a journey and there may be times you feel like you've taken one step forward and two steps back but that is part of the journey. Victorious days are ahead for you - I just know it! Hang in there girl.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:42 am

Thank you, Ms. Hopeful. You're right, I'll be able to do it by and by, so long as I stay positive and don't fall into the self-hatred trap.

We could have taken a Greyhound bus. But the trip isn't that time-sensitive. It can wait.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:09 pm

Do not beat urself up over not going! I didn't mention in my first thread that I was taking this trip because I hadn't been able to go the last 3 times I was supposed to. I know what it's like to feel like ur not going to be able to do it, but u will. In time, u will. I had all this terrible anxiety before the trip, for days even, during the trip, and right as we were in the town of destination. But like I said, when we got there, and I realized I hadn't lost my mind, and the world hadn't come crashing down around me, I kinda laughed at myself. And u will too. We all will eventually. I'm planning on going down there again in a few weeks, for a much better reason that I am REALLY looking forward to but am anxious about as well.

I just had a thought. Could some of ur anxiety actually be about taking ur daughter to college? Are u having some worries about her going and being away from home and growing up? I could be way out there, but it seems reasonable. The program talks about ur anxiety stemming from something u don't want to think about.

I know u'll make the trip when u want to. So much of doing these things is the motivation behind it. Unfortunately, if u have the depression side of it, like me, finding the motivation can prove harder than finding the courage. I wish us all luck and great things in the near future. I hope to start tomorrow. I always hope, but like I said, depression makes it difficult when the time comes. Have a great night everyone and thanks for all the support and kind words!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:28 am

Thanks, Dana.

No question - the idea of her leaving me all alone when she goes to college in 1.5 years, is pretty unhappy. Plus I get into judging whether I've been a good mother, etc... Perfectionism and motherhood really don't go well together.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:18 am

I can only imagine what that must be like, but I know u will be able to overcome ur anxiety about this. We must deal with the real problems in our lives instead of focusing them internally. I am definitely the pot calling the kettle black here. I am only learning to do this, and trying, but have yet to master it. I wish u the best in ur adventure tho. I'm sure ur daughter is nervous about going away to school as well. When I decided to leave home, for weeks leading up to it, I would think about what it would be like to be away from home, and more importantly, my mother. The night before I moved, I laid in bed thinking, this is the last time I will sleep in this bed living here. Crazy huh? Maybe u should talk to ur daughter about her feelings about it, and u may both find out ur nervous together, and u can help each other get through it. I'm sure ur motherly instincts will kick in when u hear ur daughters feelings and that will make u feel alittle better. Nonetheless, take care of urself and do ur best.