Difficulty coping with death and dying

BMcK · Post by **BMcK** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:06 pm

The past three years have been difficult. My step son committed suicide and my husband is now dying from a multitude of diseases slowly but surely. Being the care taker has been difficult and trying to cope with the past also has been a challenge, especially since I was so close to my step-son. I am trying to be strong but I find that I am depressed most of the time.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:22 pm

Dear BMcK,
Here is a site which may be of help to you.... Coping with the Death of Loved Ones

BMcK · Post by **BMcK** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:19 pm

Thanks so much for the information. I have checked out the site and see alot of information that I intend to read. I appreciate your support.

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:22 pm

You are soooo welcome...God Bless!!

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:51 pm

I am so sad to hear about your many losses. This has been such a struggle for many, and was the reason I ended up using this program. We cannot replace those we lose. We can learn to let go and continue our lives. They would not want otherwise. Using this program, I recovered from a devastating depression after the deaths of both my parents. While working the program I lost a favorite pet and had to learn the hard way, losing a pet can be devastating, too. Since completing the program, I've lost two more beloved pets. Both had terminal illnesses and could not be saved, although I tried desperately. A few days ago I lost a cousin. My family is completely gone now, with the exception of some cousins and one elderly aunt. Life is hard. But it really is what we decide to make it. Every person and pet I've lost contributed so many rich and wonderful memories to my life. I am deeply sad they are gone and I cannot see them. But they do still live in my heart. Your loved ones left you rich with wonderful memories, too. When you remember them, try to see them in your mind smiling. Smile back at them, and embrace all the good they brought your life. It's certainly sad, and you have a right to feel sad. Grief is one of the ways we say goodbye. Ms. T Bones' recommendation, Coping with the Death of Loved Ones, is so kind. There are a bundle of kind people on this site. When you cannot cope, return here and post, or just visit. If I could improve upon this program in one way, I'd have Lucinda and Carolyn add a session devoted just to this subject: life skills for those of us who are left behind when loved ones die.
Again, I wish you courage and strength. When you feel lost and alone with your grief, remember the smiles, recall the happy memories. And take a walk with those memories. You will get through. Best wishes.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:55 pm

Pecos...You are soooo strong and courageous!!!
I have lost a host of loved ones, also. That is because I have a very large family on both my mother's and father's side. Most of them have gone home to be with the Lord..

I have also lost a lot of loved ones on my hubby's side of the family. Seems like all of these losses happened since the year 2000.

I can remember one year we practically lived at the funeral home. It was really tough!!!

I am sooo grateful that my mother and father are still alive, as well as, all my brothers and sisters. With the exception of a brother who died a year before I was born, and was only a few hours old.

I am sooo grateful that my hubby, and my 2 children are still alive!!!

I do have one fear that I still need to work on, and that is the fear of loss. I love my parents sooo much and my dad is in a nursing home about 3 hours away..He is 81 years old. I think about him every night. I have a picture of mom and dad on my refrigerator, and I give them both a good night kiss...I love them sooo dearly....

I often wander how I would handle the loss of my hubby, my children, my mom, dad, and/or brothers and sisters, as well as, my nephew and my nieces.

Our family is sooo close. When one hurts...We all hurt...It is sooo hard to explain...

I just take one day at a time, and pray that God gives me strength if they leave here before I do!!!

I just place all my faith and trust in God on this one!!!

ERB · Post by **ERB** » Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:20 pm

When I was a teenager my best friend committed suicide, I still miss them greatly. My father recently passed away and the loss has been very hard as well. the program has been great helping me to regain my life. For so long I have lived with anxiety and depression. I am taking my life back, and day by day I'm stronger then before. Success is in the doing, I found it helpful to write a page a day of positive affirmations about myself, this keeps me positive and happy. Remember possitive thoughts and affirmations, it works, stop the negative self talk, I did, and it works...God Bless All...