Hi,
I'm just wondering if anyone here has been in an abusive relationship and are having trouble coping or having PSTD symptoms. I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist who says i have PSTD as a result of the abuse. I have uncontrollable anxiety and cannot even get out of my house. IT really hit me months after i was out of the relationship and now its affecting my new relationship and i find it hard to make it through another day. I'm extremely depressed, i have anxiety 24/7, can barely eat or sleep...i have fear or hurting myself or other people...Can PSTD do that? id just like to share stories and to have opinions of people who have been in the same situation.
THank you
anyone suffering from PSTD from an abusive relationship?
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Guest
Hi. Yes, I am suffering from PSTD also and yes, it is because of an abusive relationship. It does happen. It happens because the abuse becomes on-going for such a long time, and at the time you don't realize how insidious it becomes. It becomes a way of life until it is too late and the damage on the inside of "you" has been realized.......that is when you end it. However the "living" after the fact needs support. A support group for this would be a good place to start for you. To be with people who suffer with the after effects. It is like surviving a horrible car crash. You were strong enough to survive it but living with the change it brings and the memories is and can be another mountain to climb........but it can be done and looking on the bright side, it is the last "bend" in the road to recovery. That is where the support group comes in......check in abuse help lines, women's recovery shelters. There ARE support groups for people like us. It is hard. I know it, but we have been through harder stuff.......if you can recall back. It wasn't easy then...It took courage to change and we did that.......We can handle this, too. Go and check the groups out so you don't feel so alone. Medication should help your inability to leave the house and maybe a friend can go with you. Keep me posted. Hang in there.
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Guest
Thanks for bringing this up, Maudejolie, as I wonder about this too.
I left an abusive marriage nearly 8 years ago. I managed to hold myself together for a few years until some additional stresses -- a toxic boss, and my father getting very sick and passing away -- led to me falling apart completely.
At that point, it was thought that I was just in grief over my father, but I could barely get out of bed. I felt utterly powerless about my life -- I withdrew from contact with my family and friends, and would go days without even taking a shower. Because of my children, I eventually managed to pull myself together enough to look for help, but it was ages before anyone even asked about my marriage. I still hadn't recognized it as abuse -- I knew that he was bad-tempered and unhappy, but deep down I actually believed that he was better than me, and that every cruel word he threw at me had truth in it.
A couple of years later, I was doing much better when something happened which made me realize that he'd been abusing my daughters as well. I'd thought that he adored them and would never treat them badly, and I'd thought that it was important for the girls to have a relationship with their father -- they adore him. I'd thought that I'd been able to insulate them enough that they could have a relationship with him and not be hurt, and when I found out that I hadn't done that, I fell right back into the utter powerlessness. This time it was just for a few months because I had a therapist to help me through it, but PTSD is what it struck me as.
So my questions: does it make any difference what we call it? Is the treatment for PTSD any different to any other treatment for anxiety and/or depression? (Thanks, not, for your helpful post.) For the abuse -- is there any specific treatment/therapy for dealing with the after-effects of emotional abuse that is different from that for anxiety and/or depression?
I know that there is no timeframe for healing, but it's been 10 years since I first went to a doctor about feeling unable to cope, and 4 years since I fell apart completely and I'm still not back on my feet. I'm only barely coping -- is this because I haven't found the right therapist or because I haven't found the right therapy?
I left an abusive marriage nearly 8 years ago. I managed to hold myself together for a few years until some additional stresses -- a toxic boss, and my father getting very sick and passing away -- led to me falling apart completely.
At that point, it was thought that I was just in grief over my father, but I could barely get out of bed. I felt utterly powerless about my life -- I withdrew from contact with my family and friends, and would go days without even taking a shower. Because of my children, I eventually managed to pull myself together enough to look for help, but it was ages before anyone even asked about my marriage. I still hadn't recognized it as abuse -- I knew that he was bad-tempered and unhappy, but deep down I actually believed that he was better than me, and that every cruel word he threw at me had truth in it.
A couple of years later, I was doing much better when something happened which made me realize that he'd been abusing my daughters as well. I'd thought that he adored them and would never treat them badly, and I'd thought that it was important for the girls to have a relationship with their father -- they adore him. I'd thought that I'd been able to insulate them enough that they could have a relationship with him and not be hurt, and when I found out that I hadn't done that, I fell right back into the utter powerlessness. This time it was just for a few months because I had a therapist to help me through it, but PTSD is what it struck me as.
So my questions: does it make any difference what we call it? Is the treatment for PTSD any different to any other treatment for anxiety and/or depression? (Thanks, not, for your helpful post.) For the abuse -- is there any specific treatment/therapy for dealing with the after-effects of emotional abuse that is different from that for anxiety and/or depression?
I know that there is no timeframe for healing, but it's been 10 years since I first went to a doctor about feeling unable to cope, and 4 years since I fell apart completely and I'm still not back on my feet. I'm only barely coping -- is this because I haven't found the right therapist or because I haven't found the right therapy?
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Guest
Hello Maudejolie,
I wanted to respond to your post. I would like to wholeheartedly say in advance that I am sorry about the abuse you have suffered. Life is cetainly to short to live in an abusive relationship and you are very strong for having the courage to leave.
Also before I start the post, I want you to know that I am in no way discounting, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I do know and understand that it is very real.
Having said that I would also like to ask you to possibly consider this:
From your description of your symptoms it does not sound like PTSD is possibly an accurate diagnosis which is the good news). I am certainly no doctor and am not trying nor would I ever try to diagnose you or anyone else on this forum it's just that the symptoms (and also interestingly enough the treatment) of PTSD are the same as Acute Stress Disorder or ASD and or Chronic Anxiety Disorder. With PTSD having again some specific characteristics all it's own.
And most importantly is it possible for you to go through the Combatting Stress and Depression Program course and then see how you feel, while you can continue to see your doctor you will have completed the program which in my opinion may give you a much better insight as to what may really be going on here?
Here is an article on PTSD that you may find interesting. Is it possible for you to go through this checklist and mark off each symptom you have and then look at the symptoms of chronic anxiety, and then compare the two and take a close look at the similarities before you accept a diagnosis as PTSD?
It just sounds like you have enough going on without having a diagnosis of PTSD thrown your way which in my own personal opinion is being overly used as a catchall diagnosis (which is the bad news).
And keep in mind that I am not saying here that you do not have PTSD, it's just that there are other parallels going on as well and they need to be addressed also.
Even though I know you have suffered in an abusive relationship is it possible that what you are experiencing is ASD or Acute Stress Disorder or Chronic Anxiety Disorder and not PTSD.
I ask this because many of the symptoms are the same with a few definite differences. And interestingly so, the treatments are the same as well.
I do not usually post on here about myself to much, it is not because I am ashamed or embarrassed in anyway it is more so that I enjoy helping others and that is where my healing comes from most of the time. (Well that and certainly my husband who is also my best friend).
So having said that, I to have had chronic anxiety and panic attacks (about 11-12 years worth of it, constantly nonstop day in day out with overwhelming panic about every two to three minutes. I was a walking panic attack). Along with major depression, fear, avoidance, feelings of wanting to harm others, basically you name it and I had it. I also many times thought I must have PTSD which worried me even more, as if I did not have enough to worry about.
Although I now know that I did not have PTSD, and was even more convinced after fully completeing this program. I had also been in some extremely stressful situations to say the least. I had these symptoms as an overwhelming response to stress, and the way I have reacted to it.
Here is the article:
Diagnosing PTSD: In diagnosing Post traumatic Stress Disorder it is important to remember that PTSD carries unique symptoms that differ from acute anxiety disorder, chronic stress, or Acute Stress Disorder ASD.
Symptoms of PTSD:
If your stress and anxiety do not lift at all, but are still just as painful about four weeks after the traumatic event (or 6 months after a community-wide disaster).
If you find that your feelings or reactions interfere with your functioning at work (or your ability to look for work), your interactions with friends (or your ability to maintain relationships with friends or community members), or your family life at home.
If you feel that you must have professional help to cope.
If you have trouble taking care of yourself.
If you need to talk to a counselor about your grief.
If your grief is still just as painful and hard to cope with about a year after the event occurred.
If you need alcohol or drugs to get through the days or nights.
Treatment options for PTSD:
Medical Approaches:
Medications that raise serotonin levels are typically used to treat the symptoms of PTSD.
Serotonin is a chemical naturally produced by the body and brain that takes part in many physical functions, including nerve transmission. Not everyone may receive the same medications for PTSD. This is because medications for PTSD are tailored to the individual's symptoms and co-existing disorders if present.
Psychological Therapy:
Therapists can offer a range of psychosocial techniques for women with PTSD. Supportive psychotherapy allows women to talk about the trauma and its effects. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) teaches women how to identify and put aside negative thoughts that trigger anxiety, and how to change their behavioral responses to reminders of the traumatic event. Exposure therapy helps women with PTSD gradually confront a situation or object that causes anxiety.
Lifestyle Approaches:
The following steps may help you relieve and begin to overcome the symptoms of PTSD:
Eliminate substances that may affect your mood, such as nicotine or caffeine.
Exercise regularly, take care of yourself, with healthy meals and adequate sleep.
Restore your normal household and daily routine as much as possible. Choose a routine that is positive, constructive and gives you a sense of personal control. Know that painful feelings happen even to people who are resilient enough to recover from trauma.
Use optimism and believe in yourself. Have faith in your ability to cope, and view the future with hope. Maintain or build good relationships with supportive family members or friends. Accepting help graciously and providing help to others through your church or community groups are two good ways.
Most importantly remember that:
Intense feelings of anxiety, anger, fear and grief soon after a life-altering traumatic event typically a matter of weeks not months before the PTSD hits. Are all normal reactions to a very abnormal situation. The way you are feeling is natural, unless it doesn't get better after one to six months (keep in mind that an anxiety disorder is very similar to PTSD but the symptoms may differ). If you have problems with anxiety or PTSD, reaching out to the help you have available is positive and healthy. You can use help from others and your own courage to restore your sense of well-being and start your life again.
Questions to Ask Your Health Care Professional about PTSD:
Do I have PTSD?
How do you know?
Can you explain to me why you may think that I have PTSD and not an anxiety or panic disorder?
What are the main differences between the two?
Do you see a connection between how I feel and PTSD? What is that connection and how is it different than an anxiety disorder.
Is PTSD treatable?
Can I recover from it, and can I expect a full recovery?
What are the lasting effects if any, once I have fully recovered from PTSD?
What are the lasting effects if any, of an anxiety disorder once I have fully recovered.
What treatment do you recommend for me and why?
When medication is involved:
What are the expected effects and side effects?
How long should I expect to be taking it?
If you are recommending psychotherapy, what type of therapy and why?
Until my treatment starts working, how can I manage my anxiety and stress to help prevent it from becoming overwhelming?
I wanted to respond to your post. I would like to wholeheartedly say in advance that I am sorry about the abuse you have suffered. Life is cetainly to short to live in an abusive relationship and you are very strong for having the courage to leave.
Also before I start the post, I want you to know that I am in no way discounting, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I do know and understand that it is very real.
Having said that I would also like to ask you to possibly consider this:
From your description of your symptoms it does not sound like PTSD is possibly an accurate diagnosis which is the good news). I am certainly no doctor and am not trying nor would I ever try to diagnose you or anyone else on this forum it's just that the symptoms (and also interestingly enough the treatment) of PTSD are the same as Acute Stress Disorder or ASD and or Chronic Anxiety Disorder. With PTSD having again some specific characteristics all it's own.
And most importantly is it possible for you to go through the Combatting Stress and Depression Program course and then see how you feel, while you can continue to see your doctor you will have completed the program which in my opinion may give you a much better insight as to what may really be going on here?
Here is an article on PTSD that you may find interesting. Is it possible for you to go through this checklist and mark off each symptom you have and then look at the symptoms of chronic anxiety, and then compare the two and take a close look at the similarities before you accept a diagnosis as PTSD?
It just sounds like you have enough going on without having a diagnosis of PTSD thrown your way which in my own personal opinion is being overly used as a catchall diagnosis (which is the bad news).
And keep in mind that I am not saying here that you do not have PTSD, it's just that there are other parallels going on as well and they need to be addressed also.
Even though I know you have suffered in an abusive relationship is it possible that what you are experiencing is ASD or Acute Stress Disorder or Chronic Anxiety Disorder and not PTSD.
I ask this because many of the symptoms are the same with a few definite differences. And interestingly so, the treatments are the same as well.
I do not usually post on here about myself to much, it is not because I am ashamed or embarrassed in anyway it is more so that I enjoy helping others and that is where my healing comes from most of the time. (Well that and certainly my husband who is also my best friend).
So having said that, I to have had chronic anxiety and panic attacks (about 11-12 years worth of it, constantly nonstop day in day out with overwhelming panic about every two to three minutes. I was a walking panic attack). Along with major depression, fear, avoidance, feelings of wanting to harm others, basically you name it and I had it. I also many times thought I must have PTSD which worried me even more, as if I did not have enough to worry about.
Although I now know that I did not have PTSD, and was even more convinced after fully completeing this program. I had also been in some extremely stressful situations to say the least. I had these symptoms as an overwhelming response to stress, and the way I have reacted to it.
Here is the article:
Diagnosing PTSD: In diagnosing Post traumatic Stress Disorder it is important to remember that PTSD carries unique symptoms that differ from acute anxiety disorder, chronic stress, or Acute Stress Disorder ASD.
Symptoms of PTSD:
If your stress and anxiety do not lift at all, but are still just as painful about four weeks after the traumatic event (or 6 months after a community-wide disaster).
If you find that your feelings or reactions interfere with your functioning at work (or your ability to look for work), your interactions with friends (or your ability to maintain relationships with friends or community members), or your family life at home.
If you feel that you must have professional help to cope.
If you have trouble taking care of yourself.
If you need to talk to a counselor about your grief.
If your grief is still just as painful and hard to cope with about a year after the event occurred.
If you need alcohol or drugs to get through the days or nights.
Treatment options for PTSD:
Medical Approaches:
Medications that raise serotonin levels are typically used to treat the symptoms of PTSD.
Serotonin is a chemical naturally produced by the body and brain that takes part in many physical functions, including nerve transmission. Not everyone may receive the same medications for PTSD. This is because medications for PTSD are tailored to the individual's symptoms and co-existing disorders if present.
Psychological Therapy:
Therapists can offer a range of psychosocial techniques for women with PTSD. Supportive psychotherapy allows women to talk about the trauma and its effects. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) teaches women how to identify and put aside negative thoughts that trigger anxiety, and how to change their behavioral responses to reminders of the traumatic event. Exposure therapy helps women with PTSD gradually confront a situation or object that causes anxiety.
Lifestyle Approaches:
The following steps may help you relieve and begin to overcome the symptoms of PTSD:
Eliminate substances that may affect your mood, such as nicotine or caffeine.
Exercise regularly, take care of yourself, with healthy meals and adequate sleep.
Restore your normal household and daily routine as much as possible. Choose a routine that is positive, constructive and gives you a sense of personal control. Know that painful feelings happen even to people who are resilient enough to recover from trauma.
Use optimism and believe in yourself. Have faith in your ability to cope, and view the future with hope. Maintain or build good relationships with supportive family members or friends. Accepting help graciously and providing help to others through your church or community groups are two good ways.
Most importantly remember that:
Intense feelings of anxiety, anger, fear and grief soon after a life-altering traumatic event typically a matter of weeks not months before the PTSD hits. Are all normal reactions to a very abnormal situation. The way you are feeling is natural, unless it doesn't get better after one to six months (keep in mind that an anxiety disorder is very similar to PTSD but the symptoms may differ). If you have problems with anxiety or PTSD, reaching out to the help you have available is positive and healthy. You can use help from others and your own courage to restore your sense of well-being and start your life again.
Questions to Ask Your Health Care Professional about PTSD:
Do I have PTSD?
How do you know?
Can you explain to me why you may think that I have PTSD and not an anxiety or panic disorder?
What are the main differences between the two?
Do you see a connection between how I feel and PTSD? What is that connection and how is it different than an anxiety disorder.
Is PTSD treatable?
Can I recover from it, and can I expect a full recovery?
What are the lasting effects if any, once I have fully recovered from PTSD?
What are the lasting effects if any, of an anxiety disorder once I have fully recovered.
What treatment do you recommend for me and why?
When medication is involved:
What are the expected effects and side effects?
How long should I expect to be taking it?
If you are recommending psychotherapy, what type of therapy and why?
Until my treatment starts working, how can I manage my anxiety and stress to help prevent it from becoming overwhelming?