I have been back and fourth with my now ex for almost 2 years. I have always been on the fence. I have always felt so guilty, because he pours his heart out and tells me how much he loves me, and I just do not feel the same! I carry his pain as my guilt and it's been keeping me down for a long time. I keep saying that I just need time and I would say I do wanna be with him, just bcause I can't bear to here his reactions if I just say "I am not in love with you". I know what that feels like, it's been done to me, more then once. Its so beyond horrible, I was so depressed for a long time. He is younger then me and if I say "I know how you feel" thats just not right, I feel like. I am hot and cold all the time, I push and pull constantly, well I think I finally found my strength to say bye last night. I couldn't continue on this fence, he thinks we were going in a good direction and I knew we weren't
Now all of these text msgs are just killing me. He is so depressed and he says I am so terrible and I am selfish and I am a terrible person and he "had so much faith in me, I thought we were going to make it, I am crushed, I am having an anxiety attack, I am just better with you, all I've done for you" you get my drift. I can't keep carrying his pain, too. I have all of these emotional problems and I am just a mess.
I feel like there is so much more to this mess of a story. Just looking for some positive vibes right now from the StressCenter.com fam
