setbacks and moving forward

[Iwillbebetter]

Mosaic - I can totally relate - it's amazing as we become more positive, how we can start to see all the negative we have "surrounded ourselves with". I know I have recently been starting to see that and also am starting to see how I have let people "walk all over me". It can be very hard to find that balance as I realize I shouldn't get mad at them for treating me the way I have allowed them to. But just as we are learning to deal with things differently - they to will have to learn how to deal with us differently. The transition can be hard and a bit depressing. I recently had a lightbulb moment, when realizing that was part of my feeling down, was realizing how I have been letting people treat me!! And knowing that I can't keep allowing it!!
There is always another day!!!

[LyndaLu]

mosaic: Was today a better day

L

[LyndaLu]

Today my day was up and down. It sure started out "ok" and I felt that I could adjust
to anything that may come my way. Later on in the day my left shoulder started to hurt
because I have joint disease in that shoulder. That ONE thing totaly turned my day
from "ok" to " I want to go home" I used the negative to postive self talk EARLIER in
the day, but as my pain worsened in my shoulder that negative to postive self
talk just went "out the window", so to speak.

I am going to try to take baby steps
this week in working on the negative to postive self talk and I am going to start
to list my accomplishments each and every day. Part of the program says to
do something nice for someone else, and so today I drove my mom to her doctor's
appointment and I visited with her at her house and we played a card game together.
She is almost a shut-in, so she likes to have visitors. I also called my sister on the
telephone at her job.....just to say HI ! Hey, I think I am feeling better already

[Nel01073]

I can relate mosaic and Iwbb. I sometimes get angry when I look back and see how ive let people treat me but now Im changing and thats all that matters. Theyve also had to deal with me and all of this. Also I remind myself when a family member is being negative around me that they dont have these skills and how hard it was for me when I was so negative. It kind of helps me to look at it in a different way.
Lynda I think its great that you helped your mom. Just remember it takes time for you to get good at the positive dialogue. I still struggle with it but I remember one day I just felt so good and I realized I was getting better at it but its still hard at times.

[Iwillbebetter]

Nel - that is a good thing to remember. They had to put up with me, how I was. And it took a lot of work to be where I am. They have not had that opportunity. Putting yourself in others shoes can help you symathise with them instead of resenting them.... or being annoyed with them.

Lynda - glad you helped your mom and called your sister. Amazing how such simple things really can help you to feel better.

[mosaic1989]

Time to check in here. Been having a lot of up and down days. I think that I'm just in a real rut with fatigue. I get more energy at night but it has been hard to get much done. I have tried to do some positive things but it seems I'm dragging. I think when it comes to physical issues's sometimes it's hard to fight it, at least I do. Sometimes I think we just have to start again, maybe next week will be better. Sometimes the days are not going to be want them to be, but just got to to keep going. This week my kids had spring break, while I was glad for them that they got a break, it sort of breaks up the routine. This week started kind of bad when I got upset over stuff that I'm not even sure what triggered it. But I guess there are going to be those times. I just found out Lexapro is going generic so that is good news maybe I at least I can relax about to having to go off that. SO not such a good week but that's ok we always have another chance. I think we do learn things about ourselves and what we need in dark moments. I find myself using more positve self-talk than I realize. Lots to do but we will all get there. Hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully next time I post I will have more positive things to say but, will get better.

[jcany]

this is my first time on here and i was wondering if the symptoms are daily or just sometimes. my are daily I have that feeling of not real reality off balance and seems like thins are altered this has gone on for about 1 year. i did start having problems with panic attacks where I am fearful of driving on the freeway or driving on long trips. some days are better than others. I use to drink quite a bit and I thought i felt better but not for long only till i sobered up. let me know if anyone has any ideas on how to make it better. thanks

[Nel01073]

Hows everyone doing?
Iwbb yes I find that if I put myself in others shoes I can see Im much more considerate of others. Weve been fortunate to have these skills but others have their own way of dealing with problems.
Mosaic, I know what you mean. Sometimes I jyst dont have the energy to even get out of bed. Its hard but taking small steps and working your way up little by little is easier than expecting so much from ourselves and trying to absorb the whole progeam at once.
Jcany, after my first panick attack I had that spacy feeling 24/7. It scared me so much but the only thing you can do is accept it, know that it wont hurt you and let time pass. Dont let it frighten you.

[LyndaLu]

mosaic: I can certainly understand about the fatigue. I have had fatigue and tiredness for some time now.
I think a lot of physical things can cause fatigue that we may not even think about, like our thryoid, iron
deficiency, B12 deficiency, hormones.

I can totaly understand what you are going through, I was happy
today that I even got dressed and then drove across town to attend a 2 hour class at a local women's center.
You would be amazed at how much energy it took just to do that one simple task! I was fighting with
myself the whole way ! But I did it and once I was there
at the center and participating in the class I was glad that I decided to go to the class and not stay home.
The class was informative and I got to interact with the teacher and the other participants. I even took
myself out for a bagel and cream cheese before the class.

Just wanted you to know that I know how you
feel but that there will also be better days ahead. Keep In Touch. Lynda Lu.

[LyndaLu]

jcany: I know how you feel, I used to have all of the same feelings as you do.
Here is some information from a book I am reading, it may be helpful to you.

A six part approach to self-control..................

Recognize that you are feeling anxious. Accept your body feelings as a symptom of your
anxiety and a sign that something is bothering you. Don't let these feelings scare you.

Try to figure out what really is bothering you. Is it some type of conflict you don't want to deal
with? Is it a scary thought? Is it a ridiculous expectation that you have on yourself? How about the
television program you watched last night? Did you drink caffeine or eat chocolate? What is getting
to you?

Give yourself permission to feel anxious about whatever is bothering you. "Of course I feel anxious
because I haven't flown in a while, or I don't like confronting someone. It's okay and normal to have
anxiety".

Use compassionate self-talk to move yourself through the anxious time. It will pass. Examples might
be, "It's just anxiety. It will go away. I will not lose control. I can still go about my business feeling
spaced out. It won't hurt me". This will help your system to calm down more quickly and help you get
through the anxious moment more comfortably.

Get busy. Do something to release some of this self-induced stimulation. Your body is like a car in
high gear with the brakes on. Don't just sit there. Walk. Run. Clean closets. Do something
productive with the energy. This will also get your mind out of the anxiety.

Try to see a little humor in the way you feel. You may feel wierd, but you don't look wierd.
No one else is noticing. Don't overreact to your symptoms. Make light of them. Laugh at yourself
a little. No big deal.

Lynda Lu