I've been feeling very sick. Very fatigued, body pains, dizzy, goofy digestion. Kinda like the flu, only no fever, no glands, no respiratory issues. I've been sleeping poorly for awhile,and thought my tiredness was from insomnia. (I *am* 49 after all and going through perimenopause) My superiors at work have been nicely asking me if I"m ok, that people are worried about me. I wondered what on earth they were talking about. Finally, I confessed that I felt just awful and was barely making it through work. I got weepy from being so tired. Don't I think I should see my doctor? Well, yeah. The first thing out of my doctors mouth was to check my thyroid. Makes sense. the next thing was depression. Excuse me???
What I really worried about was that in my medical history I went through some years of severe CFS, bedridden, the whole deal. I am BLESSED with coming through that. and I spent a weekend freaking myself out about a recurrence while I awaiting my lab work. My husband swore he'd know if it was coming back and he said "this isn't it, in my opinion".
Today my follow up with the doctor. On paper I am as healthy as can be: great thyroid, good sugar, good everything. He is 80% sure (he said) that I have serious depression. (the other 20% being reserved for my scary history and the fact that he might be wrong. I like my doctor, lol!) I said "are you serious??? Depression can make my body feel like this???" I had to be convinced. I left with my rx for Celexa.
Really????? How did I not realize I was so depressed??? Can depression really really really cause such fatigue???? such pain? such cotton head???? really ????? (Yep,I'm asking any of you who can shed some light on this!)
My husband said: "I am comfortable with what your doctor said" and proceeded to explain how I've been. I confessed to those who work closely with me each day after at first thinking I"d lie about sleeping disorders or something. One said "when I went through a rough time I felt physically bad. Your doctor (we have the some one) might really be on to something. You have not been yourself for quite a while". the other said "I actually had it cross my mind that you were depressed quite a bit".
How did I miss this????? and again: honestly, it can physically knock you silly??? I'm trying to wrap my brain around this. I honestly never saw it coming. My anxiety: there was NO mistaking that one! Panic attacks are pretty darn obvious. But this?? Wow.
Thank you for listening!
