Support circle for depression

monty'smom · Post by **monty'smom** » Fri Nov 21, 2008 1:36 pm

Yes secret I can relate to that feeling very well. It's not as frequent now as it once was but when it happens I do feel like I'm just not really there and don't even really hear what the person is saying to me. I just get zoned out and really never understood why. I thought it was my meds as they left me feeling absolutely nothing but it has happened since going off my Ad's about 5 months ago. Maybe someone else has found an answer as to why this happens. I have blamed my fibro fog for it but am not certain that is always the cause.

Try hard to live in the moment and not think about too many issues right now. Just work at getting some peace of mind and the skills to deal with the anxiety and I'm sure everything else will all fall into place for you.

Good Luck!!!

mr mom · Post by **mr mom** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 3:58 pm

Thanks for the sleep suggestionsk, Sleeper. Will try some of them.

Montysmom I would like your dosages on the sleep remedy too. Thanks.

Kidsisme, that is so awesome that you shared with your family. I hope they are very supportive of your recovery.

Secret, welcome. I have experienced the paralysis you describe. I'm in sales and freeze up when I'm trying to make a cold call on the phone or in person. I just sit there trying to will myself to do it. I also zone out and feel like i'm in a parallel universe watching whats going on around me, hearing but not listening, feeling like I'm not really there. It's scary, and I wonder if I'm loosing my mind. Now I know that others have been there and got beyond this by working this program.

As for me, I'm still in the guest bedroom sleeping on a futon. My wife is still planning on divorce after the holidays. She knows I'm working this program and quit drinking (again) but doesn't believe that I can change. It all really hurts and I'm trying hard not to let the fear and pain drag me back down into the depths of dispair. I've been sober for almost a week, that feels good. I'm starting session 2 tomorrow.

sharonchgo · Post by **sharonchgo** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 5:01 pm

Lexa hello you sound like me depression started affecting my job performance about 10m years ago. and just keeps getting worse. I'm job hunting now too. it is so hard to interview, not get the job and keep up the self esteem. I'm also alone and just don't have the umph to socialize. Soooo let's hope the program helps us both.

kidsisme · Post by **kidsisme** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:10 am

Congratulations on a week Loyd! That is great! Are you involved in a recovery program? That might help your wife see that you're changing and that you are taking this seriously.

Pretty much at this point to get her to change her mind about you, you need to do everything she wants you to do. You need to earn her trust back and not be defensive about what she's asking of you. Sounds like maybe she's been hurt. Be humble and serve her. It'll go a long way towards helping your marriage. I also recommend that you make no advances towards her... ever (for now). If she makes a move then you know her heart is opening a bit. Let her control it for now. After trust is restored then you could ask her about how she'd feel about you making a move.

Have you ever heard of the book The 5 Love Languages. Everyone has a language and if you can figure out what hers is and speak it every day from now until the end of the year you may see some changes. I would hope you'd keep it up after that too. Another good book is The Love Dare Book. You can look it up on The Fireproof Movie website. If you haven't heard of the movie it's a good representation of what a marriage can be and what it can become. I will forewarn you it's a Christian movie. If that's not your bag then that cool too.

I also highly recommend the Dave Ramsey program. You can look him up on-line and find out more there. Once my husband and I set up a budget that we'd both agreed to things got easier.

I just wanted to share with you, and others some things that had I been willing to do might have saved my first marriage. Certainly there were things he'd have needed to work on too, but it really does only take one person to work on things and start to change the heart of the other. I've seen it many times over.

I truly think though that the Dave Ramsey program and the 5 Love Languages both can change a horrible marriage into a wonderful marriage. Just like this program though it's got to be something you want and are dedicated to working hard to achieve. Good luck to us all and especially to those of you in less than good marriages.

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:45 am

Hi All.
Monty'smom -- thanks for the information about how to change the moniker. I had no idea how one would go about doing that. It is a good idea, if a family member is going to join the community, to remain private.

Kidsisme, what a good kind person you are to offer advice to help save Loyd's marriage! How wonderfully generous of you to provide such detailed and useful information about alcoholism and saving a marriage (Loyd, I hope this helps you.) I shared a practice with an alcoholic surgeon for so many years, I do understand that trust is the first to get lost, and the last to get back.
This community is full of people whose hearts are as big as the earth, the sun, the moon.

debchance · Post by **debchance** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:04 am

Hi I am in session two and am feeling somewhat better but very often feel I am 'the one' who it won't work for. I am journaling and doing the assignments, but not posting everyday, have missed days exercising. Of course I feel I am sabotaging myself. I am almost 40 and although I have a B.A. I have never been able to hold a job more that about a year, mostly less. I have decided to follow my dream of becoming and interior designer and am starting a Bachelor's of Fine Arts program in January. I hope I am ready and can make it work. My depression and increasing anxiety have made it impossible to function normally and be a productive member of society. I hope this program helps. I am on a number of antidepressants for severe chronic depression and finally have reached a combination (within the last two weeks) what I have my head above water somewhat so I can seek help and maybe begin to heal? Maybe begin to function? Maybe, (scared to believe) be happy and live a normal life and be able to take care of myself for the very first time. I worry that when and if I complete my schooling no one will hire me because of my work history being so shoddy. I have a four year old daughter and want her to see her mama going after her dreams and living a healthy happy life. Is that too much to hope for?

monty'smom · Post by **monty'smom** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:16 am

Hi Lloyd.r,

I'm so sorry but I just now saw where you had asked for the dosages of the calcium combo pill I use.

I buy them at Wallmart, It's Jamieson make and each pill contains these amounts listed below. I take my first pill around lunch time and the last 2 pills after 8-9 pm with about 6 ounces of minute maid low acid orange juice.

Each Pill Contains = calcium = 333 mg's, magnesium = 167 mg's, zinc = 20 mg's

I also take 3000 IU's of vitamin D with my morning pill. It supposedly helps our body absorb the calcium.

I really hope you have as much good luck as others have.

Take care!

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:26 am

Hi debchance. That you notice you are already seeing progress in Session Two is the key. You are going to enjoy a remarkable transformation of yourself. Stick with us, stay on program, follow your guidebook. It will happen because you are making it work.

The program DOES work. Don't give up.

debchance · Post by **debchance** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:00 am

Hi Pecos, thank you so much for your supportive words. I will stay with you guys. I need to hear it works and I need the support from people like you, thank you. I start on Session 3 tomorrow! Not sure if I am ready but only one way to find out....

debchance · Post by **debchance** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:03 am

Originally posted by monty'smom:
Hi Lloyd.r,

I'm so sorry but I just now saw where you had asked for the dosages of the calcium combo pill I use.

I buy them at Wallmart, It's Jamieson make and each pill contains these amounts listed below. I take my first pill around lunch time and the last 2 pills after 8-9 pm with about 6 ounces of minute maid low acid orange juice.

Each Pill Contains = calcium = 333 mg's, magnesium = 167 mg's, zinc = 20 mg's

I also take 3000 IU's of vitamin D with my morning pill. It supposedly helps our body absorb the calcium.

I really hope you have as much good luck as others have.

Take care!

I take about 2500mgs of Vitamin D a day as well. I heard from several sources that it helps with depression especially for those succeptible to SAD, like me. The Puget Sound area is beautiful but it does get dreary and it gets to me.