Big set- back, not coping at all well

joy jenkins · Post by **joy jenkins** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 4:49 pm

Hi everyone, I'm afraid this is going to be a depressing message. I haven't even been on the computer for a while, just too "down" and totally unmotivated. I am stuck on session 9 of the program and seem to have sunk into a bad depression. I stay in bed way too much, just don't want to face the day and more importantly how I feel that day. So I have been isolating for a while now. I feel no-one wants to know when you are feeling "low" so I am inclined to just keep to myself instead of reaching out. I am alone in a small apt., retired, so it's not a good situation. I really wonder why I am still in this world, I feel like a "nothing" and guess my self esteem is down to my toes. I saw my dr. the other day and he just said, "the depression is back". He gave me a new anti-depressant (I haven't taken an anti-depressant for a while), and also suggested the "light" thing I think they prescribe for S.A.D. I haven't got this yet. He told me it will probably be another 10 years before they have figured out which anti-depressant will work for different people. Right now it really is trial and error. I know I have to push and push but the fatigue is terrible. Getting into the shower is a huge effort. I feel I need more help because really I am not functioning right now. Not sure where to turn to. Recently my brother's ashes were inserted into my mum and dad's grave in England and that affected me very emotionally for reasons I wont go into now. I have lost 3 sisters and my brother in the past few years, so think loneliness is a big problem with me and yet I AM NOT REACHING OUT! Why????

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:35 pm

Well first I would like to say CONGADUALTIONS! YOU JUST REACHED OUT TO SOMEONE! ME! I i know what you are going through i have been there too. If you don't want to feel this way anymore and start feeling better the natural key to your recovery out of this is EXERCISE. I KNOW you don't want to do this but it is CRUCIAL to getting back on track. I would also like to tell you about i site i found to help you right now so e mail me to get the link at sweetbabie269@yahoo.com hang in there this will pass and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You ARE needed in this world wether you know it or not.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:13 pm

Thanx for your honesty. I lost my little brother in August. It knocked me flat. I am just now getting past the shock and resulting emotions following his suicide. I started this program 3 weeks ago and have already noticed an improvement in how I feel about me. Life has been really big lately. You remind me I am not alone. I saw a bumper sticker that had a profound impact on my outlook on life. It said,"Don't believe everything you think." Please hang in there. You are needed and wanted.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:07 am

hello

i just lost my father. he had ben sick and was 89 years old. the pain over losing him was unbearable.

i, too went to my doctor.

the last 6 months of my dads life was so very stressful, his death pushed me over the edge.

the doctor told me not to confuse grief with depression. she did up my anti depressant. and she told me to let myself feel sad. don't be afraid of the dpression. plus i ordered the program.

today has been to months. i'm better.

you are not alone. and it's ok to be depressed, don't be afraid.

i hope you're feeling better

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:54 am

Hi Joy. I am so sorry to have not seen this post sooner. I am reading it for the first time today. Are you happy with your doctor? Have you considered finding one who is more understanding of your situation? I am also very concerned about your needing help with activities of daily living (ADL). I don't know what programs there are in Canada for you. There are many programs here in the US which help people with these things. I signed both my parents up for some of these programs. Can you tell your doctor and ask him to supply you with the agencies which will help you with your daily tasks?
Please keep us posted. So many people here care deeply about you. We just don't know much about Canada's social service network. Joy, ask your doctor when you need help. Surely he knows the system well enough to make sure you have all the help you need. Kind regards, Pecos

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 8:52 pm

Hey there, I don't know if what I say will help, But I know how you feel with the unmotivated feelings, the nothing feeling. I've slipped into depression through ocd and it's not fun at all. It feels as though I've just lost who I am, I think about how happy and different things used to be and it's like I don't even get happy or hopeful when thinking about and it throws me off, it makes me feel like I must be a bad person or something. I can't even really cry that often anymore, it's just very discouraging, I feel empty and lost. All I can suggest, is to give yourself small realistic goals for everyday. For instance, tell yourself, ok tomorrow I am going to bake a small batch of cookies, and I'm going to listen to some happy music while doing it. Do NOT let yourself get convinced into not doing it because "oh it won't help" Do it anyways, and even if you're still not feeling better while doing, continue on. The next day (read this technique out of the Anxiety Workbook) Get into a warm bath, bring some bath toys in with you, and treat your inner child. If you wake up and you look in the mirror and you feel you look tired, useless, you're unhappy with almost everything you see, Ask yourself, in this situation, if I was a child what would I want to do right now to make myself feel better? (bathing with toys, having a tea party with stuffed animals, anything you did as a kid when you felt down) This is going to be hard, It really is, we've trained ourselves to get into these funks, getting out of them will be tricky, but we will, be patient, pace yourself, and set small realistic goals everyday, then turn those goals into bigger goals over time. Please don't ever feel like you can't post here, We all come here for the same reasons, and we all need support. I'm struggling myself, even after typing all of this, I'm going to return to my life struggling, but I have to be patient and try to achieve happiness again. If you ever want to send me a PM, or if you would even like to chat on the phone sometime, please don't hesitate. I've found some great support here, and even made friends. Just remember if you feel like you have no one, You have complete strangers on here reaching out and offering their strength to you.