Procrastination or Depression: What came first?

jaj · Post by **jaj** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 4:35 am

Hi,
I'm starting to wonder, "What came first in my life: Procrastination or Depression?" My mood doesn't seem to be bad right now, but I seem to be constantly going back to frustration about how unproductive I am. I graduated with an associates degree in accounting a year ago and still haven't found a job in my field. I had a temporary job which lasted from March to August but haven't found another one since. Everyday I check the newspaper and online job searches for jobs, but I never apply for any of them. I have decided now, that I want to get some things done at home first, such as cleaning and working on paper work for my husband's business. The end of 2008 is coming quickly and I would like to be caught up on these things before getting a job. Then again, I only think about how I need to do these things but never actually do them. I also buy cards and never send them and am late with birthday gifts for my family. I checked out some anti-procrastination CDs at the library and I'm going to work on positive self talk concerning this. I hope that helps. I really need to conquer this problem in my life. Any ideas?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 5:00 am

Hi jaj. You sound a little like me. When I'm not beating myself up because of everything I hear or see I "translate" as negative about myself, I too procrastinate. Sometimes I think it is because of fear of doing something different. I haven't overcome that either. I like you like to be organized...at least I think that's what I read from your paragraph. Me, I like everything just so...I too purchase greeting cards ahead of time and put them in chronological order for sending...things like that which I've always done...but they are familiar things to do. I'm not sure what advice I have to offer about breaking out and trying something new...I often beat myself up about that to, but perhaps simple patience for the right time is the answer...I don't know I'm not sure. But I do know when I know I'm ready I get motivated.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 5:09 am

I have a belief about procrastination. I believe it is a decision we make, and then we go into agreement with it, and then we live with it, accepting this a part of our makeup. Sounds like you really do want to change this. The program will help you sort this one out and do something different. You asked for ideas, and here is my idea: Pick three things you want to stop putting off. Write them down. Be specific. For instance:

1. I want to organize the business records.
2. I want to mail these cards.
3. I want to get this gift to whoever, on time.

Now, make a decision to accomplish one of these things. Let us say, you will work on the first item. Get a journal. Write the date on each page through the next 25 days. Every day, first thing, write down what you are doing today to organize business records, and do that. At the end of the day, make a note that you actually did what you agreed to do.
At the end of the 25 day period, assess how well you kept your agreement WITH YOURSELF to do what you AGREED with yourself to do.
You can make a decision.
And you can then carry it through.

Best of luck to you.

PS: If I were procrastinating about too many things, it would bring me down. I'm sure I could talk myself into some fairly depressed states. You might also ask yourself at the end of the day: What are you talking yourself into that makes you feel bad?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 5:48 am

This is a good one- which came first, depression or procrastination? The chicken or the egg thing. I've gone round and round about this myself sometimes. I'm a great procrastinator, but found that any action I take will decrease depression. In David Burns' books he states that motivation comes from action. It can be such a circle. Negative self talk will decrease your motivation and cause procrastination and non action can increase depression. What seems to help me with this is to schedule things for myself and mark them on my calendar. Like making an appointment with myself that is non negotiable. 10:00 AM exercise 11-5-08 scheduled on calendar. 11:00AM re do resume 11-6-08 etc. For some reason when I see this scheduled on my calendar it creates a concrete appointment with myself that I want to keep, just like I would if I made plans with a friend or had a work responsibility. I found this from ideas on how to end procrastination, and it seems to work for me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 6:33 am

What Pecos mentioned about stating "I want to---." is a grand idea. I started doing that when I was on the session about 'should' statements. In stead of saying to myself "I should do this." I switched it to saying "I want to do this." Just this simple exchange of words helped a great deal in shifting how I felt about what I was planning or doing.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:12 am

The key is to procrastinate ... on procrastinating. Thank you for bringing up this topic. It is fairly clear that people that do better with this program write down their goals and objectives on a daily basis. It is amazing how much it helps and this is a skill, like anything else, that comes with practice on a daily basis.

SusantheChatterbox · Post by **SusantheChatterbox** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:39 am

Thank you for all who replied. Everyones ideas were helpful. Pecos, I am going to try your suggestion, and keeping track for 25 days. I think that will help tremendously, because maybe I'm trying to focus on too many things at once. I'm also going to set hours for working on the bookkeeping as if it were a job. I won't look at jobs until January. My focus will be:
<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Getting the business records up to date and organized.
<LI>Having a clean organized home.
<LI>Preparing for the holidays.</UL>

I'm not sure what to say to former coworkers that I may bump into about my not having a job yet or if it will be difficult to get a job given my limited work record. (For the most part I was a stay at home mom for over 20 years before going to college.) I have to believe that this is best and those things will work out once I don't have these things hanging over my head. Thanks again everyone!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:48 am

Oh, another thing, I realized that I have even already started, because I had been procrastinating exercise, sometimes for days. I joined a weight loss group and have to write down what I eat and how much I exercise. I have now exercised every week day the past two weeks and I am feeling more energetic again!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:12 am

When I got out of an Ivy league college with a BS I couldn't find a good job. What helped me the most was going to a career counselor who gave me a test (Briggs Meyers) to see what job I would be the most suited in doing. That meant what I would be happy doing and I had the right aptitude and natural ability for. The counselor was very supportive ( I was very depressed about it). The counselor really knew how to locate the right people at the jobs and write a resume. Then he coached me how to interview. It costs $$ which I didn't have then, but it was worth it. It eventually led me to a great career. Maybe your college offers that type of service. The other thing that helped me the most in business was taking the Dale Carnegie Course. That would help lift your confidence. You have to be careful that you don't engage in too many activities that aren't focused on your goal. As for your co workers get them to talk about their own lives. I am always worried what people think about me. They are usually thinking about themselves.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:56 am

Hi jaj, I am happy we were able to help you! As for what to say to old coworkers about your job ... kiddo, you DO have a job. It's no ones business whether or not it is a paying job. What you are doing certainly sounds like work to me, and you be proud of yourself. When you get up in the morning and have a schedule, that's work. When you organize your husband's business, that is work. Please keep us posted. And best of luck.