Hi Joy, Don is so very correct about stress and sleep and digestive trouble. Lucinda talked a lot about irritable bowel syndrome. I have never had IBS, but I know it can be almost disabling to people. I looked up a website so you can see if that is similar to your digestive problems. Website: <A HREF="http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/ibs_ez/" TARGET=_blank>http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddisease ... ibs_ez/</A>
As for the nightmares and bad dreams, I can relate to those. Even when I am not stressed, if I consume chocolate and too much caffeine too near bedtime, I really have some troubling dreams that leave me exhausted in the morning. I find my diet in addition to stress causes me nightmares. I've been trying to stay with our new eating patterns from Session Four, and I do sleep better. Take care.
Support circle for depression
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Mary Wargo
- Posts: 274
- Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:37 pm
Hello Joy - I'm in a similar situation also. I retired early from State service (they made me an offer I couldn't refuse). I also live alone and am finding out how many hours there really are in a day to fill. I work one day a week now but really miss the day to day contact I had with my previous co workers. I sometimes find it hard to get myself up and out of the house in the mornings too. I was keeping myself on a schedule and jotting down certain goals for the day (from the program workbook) which was motivating but I sometimes fall into a rut and lose some of that motivation. I never realized what a huge adjustment retirement would be! I used to get stressed because I had no free time and now I sometimes think I have too much. I haven't taken anything for anxiety though since I started the program and am trying to forge ahead with this new phase of my life. Hope to hear more from you on our forum here.
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joy jenkins
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:27 pm
Hi Mary, yes I think we have quite a lot in common. Today I stayed in bed until about 3 p.m. Got up and had my usual cup of tea, it takes an hour or two before I start to feel better. I am tired today because the past three days I have made the effort and been out to different things, malls, etc. and I do get worn out. So today I am just trying to relax. I have mood swings like crazy, very depressed, irritable, anxious, etc. etc. I never know from day to day how I am going to feel. When I do go out and especially when I am with people I behave very differently usually, talk a lot, laugh, etc. I'm sure no-one would think I'm depressed! I believe it was work that kept me going all my life, I was good at it, good at interviews and enjoyed the day to day routine and contact with the same people each day, so being retired has really knocked me over! My relationship with family members is not good, they just don't understand what it's like to suffer with depression, etc. I do have two very good friends, thank God, I know some people are totally alone. I have just started the program and am going to try very hard to continue to work with it. Also, aging is proving very difficult for me, I just turned 69 and I really feel it! So that is tough too. I will write again soon. Hope to hear from you too.
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joy jenkins
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:27 pm
Hi again, I do hope I am doing this correctly because I am still finding my way around the computer! and I haven't heard from anyone for a day or two so I wonder if I'm getting through - a couple of days seems a lot for me, guess because I'm lonely and perhaps "needy"? I had a strange thing happen this morning, I am having dreams/nightmares every night and I was in one this morning, it wasn't too scarey just very weird. Anyway I woke up and it was about 7a.m. and I felt as though I was on a "high", all the depression seemed to have lifted, I felt confident, amazing. I thought oh my goodness I'm better already! Unfortunately, I didn't want to stay up then, it was too early for me, so went back to bed and back into a similar nightmare but this time it was difficult and stressful and when I woke up again I felt the same depressed feelings as usual. I am now out of bed but it takes a while to feel somewhat o.k. and back to reality. It was a disappointment because I had a taste of what life can feel like but just for a very short time. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Would someone reply just to let me know I am doing the right thing posting messages and they are getting through! Thanks so much.
Hi Joy!
You have a wonderful name! I too have recurring nightmares/disturbing dreams. I dream 2 to 3 times a week about my daughter, probably because we have issues and I dream 2 to 3 times a week about where I used to work. I dream I get lost and can't find my way through the huge building where I worked. I usually end up on a stairway with no railing and it gets narrower and narrower until I am crawling and clutching so I won't fall several floors down. My therapist says I probably dream about my daughter because I miss her and it's a way I can be with her. As for the job related dreams I don't know.
I have awakened many times at 5 or 6 am thinking wow I will get up and do this and that, and I am full of energy. I know now that this is just a passing phase because when I do get up I still procrastinate, and seem to lack enthusiasm.
Our feelings come and go for some reason, and it is difficult to count on them. I have my good days and hours and I have my bad days and hours.
Why I don't know, maybe someone else has insight into our fluctuating moods.
Trust me, there are people here, although I'm sure some are at work, there are others monitoring.
Sorry you are having nightmares. My psychologist says dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you something. Think about your dreams, and if you can, write them out and keep track of them. They are full of valuable information! I keep a dream book and write in it before I even get out of bed. That way I won't forget the dream or nightmare. If you have a therapist talk to them about your dreams.
Blessings,
Jackie
You have a wonderful name! I too have recurring nightmares/disturbing dreams. I dream 2 to 3 times a week about my daughter, probably because we have issues and I dream 2 to 3 times a week about where I used to work. I dream I get lost and can't find my way through the huge building where I worked. I usually end up on a stairway with no railing and it gets narrower and narrower until I am crawling and clutching so I won't fall several floors down. My therapist says I probably dream about my daughter because I miss her and it's a way I can be with her. As for the job related dreams I don't know.
I have awakened many times at 5 or 6 am thinking wow I will get up and do this and that, and I am full of energy. I know now that this is just a passing phase because when I do get up I still procrastinate, and seem to lack enthusiasm.
Our feelings come and go for some reason, and it is difficult to count on them. I have my good days and hours and I have my bad days and hours.
Why I don't know, maybe someone else has insight into our fluctuating moods.
Trust me, there are people here, although I'm sure some are at work, there are others monitoring.
Sorry you are having nightmares. My psychologist says dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you something. Think about your dreams, and if you can, write them out and keep track of them. They are full of valuable information! I keep a dream book and write in it before I even get out of bed. That way I won't forget the dream or nightmare. If you have a therapist talk to them about your dreams.
Blessings,
Jackie
Hi Mary, Joy and Jackie. Joy, I apologize that you were waiting for someone to respond. I usually check the depression site first and last every time I check in to my peer group. You may not have seen my post in our June peer group section, but Saturday I had a traumatic episode and lost my favorite pet. The way he died, and my absolute helplessness to save him were big setbacks for me. We had a huge storm here in the Rockies last night, and my electricity was out until about an hour ago. So, to cut this long story short, I hope you don't feel like your pain was ignored. You can always PM individual people, too, especially when they are extra supportive to you. I certainly do that, and it helps me feel like I'm not totally alone.
I do want to add about the dreams. My parents both worked, seemed like they worked all the time. But they always set Sunday morning aside for a big breakfast. My brother, who was about eight years older than me, and my parents, would all take turns telling as many of their dreams from the week as they could remember. Often, parts of their dreams would come true. For instance, once my father dreamed about being sat on by a huge bear. That week he was nearly run over by his own tractor, and he was injured. He later said it felt like the bear sitting on him in his dream. Both my parents and my brother are now deceased, but I always think of the Sunday breakfast dream telling time. It is one of my most treasured memories. I think dreams come from many places, for many reasons. I don't often have bad dreams (unless I eat poorly before bedtime) but I do have a lot of insightful dreams. It probably won't help you at all, but try making a note of what you are eating and drinking the nights when you have bad dreams. And, writing them down, like Jackie suggests, is always good. I had an artist friend who used to draw her dreams. Once she drew a cactus over her face. I thought that dream would have been a shrink's delight.
I do want to add about the dreams. My parents both worked, seemed like they worked all the time. But they always set Sunday morning aside for a big breakfast. My brother, who was about eight years older than me, and my parents, would all take turns telling as many of their dreams from the week as they could remember. Often, parts of their dreams would come true. For instance, once my father dreamed about being sat on by a huge bear. That week he was nearly run over by his own tractor, and he was injured. He later said it felt like the bear sitting on him in his dream. Both my parents and my brother are now deceased, but I always think of the Sunday breakfast dream telling time. It is one of my most treasured memories. I think dreams come from many places, for many reasons. I don't often have bad dreams (unless I eat poorly before bedtime) but I do have a lot of insightful dreams. It probably won't help you at all, but try making a note of what you are eating and drinking the nights when you have bad dreams. And, writing them down, like Jackie suggests, is always good. I had an artist friend who used to draw her dreams. Once she drew a cactus over her face. I thought that dream would have been a shrink's delight.
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joy jenkins
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:27 pm
Hi Jackie, It was interesting to hear about your dreams/nightmares, they are so similar to mine. I often dream I am in a huge place, mall, any large building really, and I just can't find my way out of the place. I am totally lost and keep walking and walking and just don't know which way to go to get out! I usually wake up sweating (even the sheets are wet) and that is the only way I get out of wherever I was! I have had these types of dreams often, but some others are even more bizarre. Please keep in touch. I love to receive messages! It eases the loneliness I guess and so nice to hear from such supportive people.
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joy jenkins
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:27 pm
Hi Mary Jane,
How are you doing? You are in a similar situation to me I think. A bit older and living alone. I have just turned 69 and really feel it! I didn't think I would. I have been staying at home for the past few days and it is time I got out again. I felt terribly depressed this morning but it slowly got better and a friend came over so that was nice to have the company. Tomorrow I have organized a hair appointment so I know I must make that. I think you asked if I have any children, no I don't, I was married for a short time but it didn't work for me, I was more of a career girl and enjoyed working outside the home. I have lost 3 sisters and 1 brother so I am the only one left and I didn't really want that to happen. I do have some nieces and a nephew here in Canada but they live two hours away from me and I haven't seen them for ages. We don't seem to have much in common and they don't understand this anxiety/depression illness at all or they don't appear to. I was devoted to my sister (their mother) but now she is no longer there I just don't have the same motivation to visit them. They never come here to visit me, never call me and very rarely e-mail me. So there we are. I also have nieces and nephews in England and that is nice to have but they are so far away and are busy with their own lives. Fortunately, I have two wonderful friends here in Toronto so consider myself very fortunate to have them. I am not totally alone. I am only on session 2 of the program so have a way to go yet but find I am learning a lot by listening to the CD's and reading the books. Would love to hear how you are doing now.
How are you doing? You are in a similar situation to me I think. A bit older and living alone. I have just turned 69 and really feel it! I didn't think I would. I have been staying at home for the past few days and it is time I got out again. I felt terribly depressed this morning but it slowly got better and a friend came over so that was nice to have the company. Tomorrow I have organized a hair appointment so I know I must make that. I think you asked if I have any children, no I don't, I was married for a short time but it didn't work for me, I was more of a career girl and enjoyed working outside the home. I have lost 3 sisters and 1 brother so I am the only one left and I didn't really want that to happen. I do have some nieces and a nephew here in Canada but they live two hours away from me and I haven't seen them for ages. We don't seem to have much in common and they don't understand this anxiety/depression illness at all or they don't appear to. I was devoted to my sister (their mother) but now she is no longer there I just don't have the same motivation to visit them. They never come here to visit me, never call me and very rarely e-mail me. So there we are. I also have nieces and nephews in England and that is nice to have but they are so far away and are busy with their own lives. Fortunately, I have two wonderful friends here in Toronto so consider myself very fortunate to have them. I am not totally alone. I am only on session 2 of the program so have a way to go yet but find I am learning a lot by listening to the CD's and reading the books. Would love to hear how you are doing now.
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Guest
Hello Joy:
I think at first I just didn't understand. I hadn't realized that you were totally alone. I am so sorry!
And I'm very sorry that you feel so bad.
I never had a career. I worked but I had social anxiety so badly that I usually dreaded every day of it. But had no idea what was wrong. I didn't know about social anxiety. I just thought that I was flawed some way.
To tell you the truth, I STILL back away from social contacts.
And now I guess I'm used to being alone. But I don't need to judge others who are dif. from me.
I am sure its me that has a problem.
Where I live in an apartment, management takes the seniors who live here out to dinner at Red Lobster once a month. I've been here almost 2 years and I've never gone. And I've never met the other seniors. I choose to stay to myself.
I'm aware that this is not healthy. But I stay in my comfort zone.
I do have children. Two live in other states.
the other one is 2 hours away. But they send me email every day. And I have 2 sisters living and 2 brothers.
So please forgive me for my earlier, judgemental posting.
I understand better now.
And I realize that I'm far from totally healed of my anxiety. But I sure don't have it like I used to. And that may be because that I more or less avoid life. I don't know. Anyway, I don't venture out of my comfort zone too often.
I wish you the best and sure do hope that you are feeling better soon.
You will make lots of friends here on the forum.
People who genuinely care.
And I'm hoping that you get very comfortable with yourself.
To be physically ill adds to depression. I pray that you get to feeling better.
Love,
Mary Jane
I think at first I just didn't understand. I hadn't realized that you were totally alone. I am so sorry!
And I'm very sorry that you feel so bad.
I never had a career. I worked but I had social anxiety so badly that I usually dreaded every day of it. But had no idea what was wrong. I didn't know about social anxiety. I just thought that I was flawed some way.
To tell you the truth, I STILL back away from social contacts.
And now I guess I'm used to being alone. But I don't need to judge others who are dif. from me.
I am sure its me that has a problem.
Where I live in an apartment, management takes the seniors who live here out to dinner at Red Lobster once a month. I've been here almost 2 years and I've never gone. And I've never met the other seniors. I choose to stay to myself.
I'm aware that this is not healthy. But I stay in my comfort zone.
I do have children. Two live in other states.
the other one is 2 hours away. But they send me email every day. And I have 2 sisters living and 2 brothers.
So please forgive me for my earlier, judgemental posting.
I understand better now.
And I realize that I'm far from totally healed of my anxiety. But I sure don't have it like I used to. And that may be because that I more or less avoid life. I don't know. Anyway, I don't venture out of my comfort zone too often.
I wish you the best and sure do hope that you are feeling better soon.
You will make lots of friends here on the forum.
People who genuinely care.
And I'm hoping that you get very comfortable with yourself.
To be physically ill adds to depression. I pray that you get to feeling better.
Love,
Mary Jane
Hi Joy,
Have read your posts with interest....I have that problem, too, with the inconsistency of my mood....drives me more nuts than I already am!! I am working the program...slowly....and trying to put things into practice...but it is just hard for me....i have worked in the mental health field for 30 years and have told countless people the exact things in the is program...and am having a terrible time believing they apply to me or that I am worth the effort to change my mental health. I have had, as you have, those days when my mood seems to change almost minute by minute. Nights are the hardest for me because I catalogue all th negative things and I am convinced that I make myself wake up depressed. Today is such a day. I am responsible for encouraging several hundred middle schoolers every day that they can be successful, happy, etc....when I do not even feel that way myself. Today is just one of those days when I feel like I have beaten myself self into exhaustion. Just listened to session 4 (again) about expectations ant that has helped some....to be honest, I just need get through the day and see if I can regroup over the weekend somehow....it does help to know that there are other people who are struggling too. You hang in there.....thanks so much for listening....
JChick
Have read your posts with interest....I have that problem, too, with the inconsistency of my mood....drives me more nuts than I already am!! I am working the program...slowly....and trying to put things into practice...but it is just hard for me....i have worked in the mental health field for 30 years and have told countless people the exact things in the is program...and am having a terrible time believing they apply to me or that I am worth the effort to change my mental health. I have had, as you have, those days when my mood seems to change almost minute by minute. Nights are the hardest for me because I catalogue all th negative things and I am convinced that I make myself wake up depressed. Today is such a day. I am responsible for encouraging several hundred middle schoolers every day that they can be successful, happy, etc....when I do not even feel that way myself. Today is just one of those days when I feel like I have beaten myself self into exhaustion. Just listened to session 4 (again) about expectations ant that has helped some....to be honest, I just need get through the day and see if I can regroup over the weekend somehow....it does help to know that there are other people who are struggling too. You hang in there.....thanks so much for listening....
JChick