I have hit rock bottom, and I don't know what to do. I am a stay at home mom, so I have all day and most of the night to think of these negative thoughts. A few months ago, I was so sure I had lymphoma (a friend died of it 7 years ago), then a lump in my neck (which I had taken out, it was nothing) now, after two of my online friends (I don't know them personally) have been diagnosed with a brain tumor (one cancer, one is not), I am SO convinced that I have a tumor too. It's gotten so bad, I have every symptom that are on every google list of brain tumor symptoms - I have the "cancerous" symptoms, of course. I've had depression, anxiety and ocd most of my life, but after being diagnosed with PPD, it's sprung out of control, for fear of dying and leaving my children w/o a mother. It's gotten so out of control right now that my husband and I don't know what to do or how to handle this. I'm seeing a therapist and am on meds, but the thoughts are still there, I can't stay away from google searching for symptoms of everything I feel. I don't know if they're normal or abnormal. In the past week, I've been to the eye doctor and had a tooth extracted, and I'm still "feeling" pain that relate to a "brain tumor" that nobody says I have. I don't know how to live happy. I feel like I don't deserve to live happy. I want a happy life. I don't want to live like this anymore. I love my kids and husband more than anything in this world and I want them to have the old "me" back. HELP!
We are very short on money right now, which also contribute to my depression issues and we don't have the $60/mo for 8 monts to pay for Lucida's program. I don't know how to fix this myself. I don't feel like harming myself or others. I fear dying. So much, that I just can't seem to actually LIVE. I want to get out of this hole of freak-outs from disease, cancer and tumors. I want to live happy with my husband and children. I want to just be me. How can I get to this?
Thanks in advance for everything you can offer me!
help - I have now hit rock bottom
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Guest
hi,
i was where you are now in 2003.i ordered the program and you can try it for free for 30 days.you can keep off the google and do something like play card games or other things to keep busy.go for a walk or read a book. spend time with your husband.what i found out that helped me was going to church.having faith when you are going through that is so important. and for others to be there to help you through things.what you are going through is panic and anxiety.if you read my profile it will help you a little more.just becasue someone had this or that does not mean that you will have it.i had skin cancer in 2004.that does not men that others that see me or talk to me will get it.change your thoughts to positive instead of negative.if you are on meds it will help you as well.i am not doctor but i know that it helped me.it took me 2 years to get to where i am today.do not stress yourself out. you can overcome this and if i can do it so can you.take care and know that you and your family is in our thoughts and prayers.be blessed.please let me know how you are doing.if you know how to pvt message that is good as well or email.thanks for listening.
don
as long as you are looking up you can see daylight.
i was where you are now in 2003.i ordered the program and you can try it for free for 30 days.you can keep off the google and do something like play card games or other things to keep busy.go for a walk or read a book. spend time with your husband.what i found out that helped me was going to church.having faith when you are going through that is so important. and for others to be there to help you through things.what you are going through is panic and anxiety.if you read my profile it will help you a little more.just becasue someone had this or that does not mean that you will have it.i had skin cancer in 2004.that does not men that others that see me or talk to me will get it.change your thoughts to positive instead of negative.if you are on meds it will help you as well.i am not doctor but i know that it helped me.it took me 2 years to get to where i am today.do not stress yourself out. you can overcome this and if i can do it so can you.take care and know that you and your family is in our thoughts and prayers.be blessed.please let me know how you are doing.if you know how to pvt message that is good as well or email.thanks for listening.
don
as long as you are looking up you can see daylight.
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Guest
Hello IKnit and Welcome to the site,
Okay I am going to be very straight forward about some things so bare with me.
You MUST STOP searching medical sites FIRST OFF.
When we suffer from anxiety we blow everything out of proportion, over react to everything, think we are dying, going crazy, can't control our lives at all. Some things can be controlled and you MUST CONTROLL those things.
If you have been checked out for a brain tumor and nothing showed up then let it go...not easy but nothing is easy about this behaviour we have. It's very hard work..but there is a better life and YOU DO DESERVE THAT LIFE!!!!
We ALL DO!
You are in self destruct mode and need to tell yourself TO STOP, CALM YOURSELF DOWN, TAKE A WALK, LISTEN TO MUSIC, WATCH SOMETHING FUNNY ON TV, DO SOME DEEP BREATHING..THIS HELP A LOT..I DO IT OFTEN WHEN I'M FEELING ANXIOUS OR STRESSED.
LAY DOWN, GET COMFY, PUT ONE HAND ON YOUR CHEST, THE OTHER ON YOUR ABDOMEN JUST ABOVE THE NAVEL...TAKE 2 BREATHS IN BY NOSE COUNTING IN YOUR HEAD 1 1000 TWICE, NOW COUNTING 1 1000 4 TIMES EXHALE OUT YOUR MOUTH, KEEP DOING THIS, YOU ARE SLOWING DOWN YOUR BREATHING. NOW PICTURE SOME BEAUTIFULL SCENERY OR ANYTHING THAT YOU LIKE THAT IS HAPPY, IT DIFFERS FOR EVERYONE. KEEP GOING.
Now try to stop the negative thinking about death, dying, illness, and so on by replacing those thoughts again with nice, warm, comforting thoughts. Tell yourself you are worthy of being happy, healthy, feeling joy, because YOU ARE.
Do anything that keeps you busy and not in the thinking mode. It takes time to learn all these things. It took time for you to get where you are now. YOU CAN GET OUT, TELL YOURSELF ALL THAT IS GOOD, BE GREATFULL FOR LITTLE THINGS, THANK GOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN, FOR ALL OF NATURES BEAUTY, DON'T DWELL ON ANYTHING BUT GOOD THINGS.
The more you beat yourself up or the more anxious you let yourself become the more you will get. You are relesing way too many hormones by thinking all this stuff. The more hormones the more anxiety. It's a viscious circle and you must try to break it.
I know the program is costly and I had to make monthly payments to get mine. It's the best money I ever charged to a credit card. If there is any way you can order it then do. You won't regret it.
I know many others far more advanced than me will post to help you. I hope my reply helped even a little. I'm only half way through the program right now.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF A GREAT LIFE. TELL YOURSELF OVER & OVER AGAIN. Self talk is part of the program and it works.
We are what we eat and we are what we think we are. JUNK IN JUNK OUT, LIES IN LIES OUT
I'm praying for you and wishing you a better day tomorrow. Be kind to your mind.
Good Luck!!
Okay I am going to be very straight forward about some things so bare with me.
You MUST STOP searching medical sites FIRST OFF.
When we suffer from anxiety we blow everything out of proportion, over react to everything, think we are dying, going crazy, can't control our lives at all. Some things can be controlled and you MUST CONTROLL those things.
If you have been checked out for a brain tumor and nothing showed up then let it go...not easy but nothing is easy about this behaviour we have. It's very hard work..but there is a better life and YOU DO DESERVE THAT LIFE!!!!
We ALL DO!
You are in self destruct mode and need to tell yourself TO STOP, CALM YOURSELF DOWN, TAKE A WALK, LISTEN TO MUSIC, WATCH SOMETHING FUNNY ON TV, DO SOME DEEP BREATHING..THIS HELP A LOT..I DO IT OFTEN WHEN I'M FEELING ANXIOUS OR STRESSED.
LAY DOWN, GET COMFY, PUT ONE HAND ON YOUR CHEST, THE OTHER ON YOUR ABDOMEN JUST ABOVE THE NAVEL...TAKE 2 BREATHS IN BY NOSE COUNTING IN YOUR HEAD 1 1000 TWICE, NOW COUNTING 1 1000 4 TIMES EXHALE OUT YOUR MOUTH, KEEP DOING THIS, YOU ARE SLOWING DOWN YOUR BREATHING. NOW PICTURE SOME BEAUTIFULL SCENERY OR ANYTHING THAT YOU LIKE THAT IS HAPPY, IT DIFFERS FOR EVERYONE. KEEP GOING.
Now try to stop the negative thinking about death, dying, illness, and so on by replacing those thoughts again with nice, warm, comforting thoughts. Tell yourself you are worthy of being happy, healthy, feeling joy, because YOU ARE.
Do anything that keeps you busy and not in the thinking mode. It takes time to learn all these things. It took time for you to get where you are now. YOU CAN GET OUT, TELL YOURSELF ALL THAT IS GOOD, BE GREATFULL FOR LITTLE THINGS, THANK GOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN, FOR ALL OF NATURES BEAUTY, DON'T DWELL ON ANYTHING BUT GOOD THINGS.
The more you beat yourself up or the more anxious you let yourself become the more you will get. You are relesing way too many hormones by thinking all this stuff. The more hormones the more anxiety. It's a viscious circle and you must try to break it.
I know the program is costly and I had to make monthly payments to get mine. It's the best money I ever charged to a credit card. If there is any way you can order it then do. You won't regret it.
I know many others far more advanced than me will post to help you. I hope my reply helped even a little. I'm only half way through the program right now.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF A GREAT LIFE. TELL YOURSELF OVER & OVER AGAIN. Self talk is part of the program and it works.
We are what we eat and we are what we think we are. JUNK IN JUNK OUT, LIES IN LIES OUT
I'm praying for you and wishing you a better day tomorrow. Be kind to your mind.
Good Luck!!
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Guest
Thank you so much for this advice. My only problem to the "if you've been checked for a brain tumor let it go" is that I was checked when I was 12, when I was diagnosed with migraines. With every migraine or ache or pain, I think it's a tumor. I haven't been seen recently with an MRI or CT, and I worry. I worry about having one, and worry if I don't. Nothing will help me. If I DO go, if they find something, it will mean my life is over (survival rate is very minimal for those) if they don't, will it really solve anything? My rational of this is no. I have a severe disorder and nothing will help me. I have a huge scar along my neck from the lump I had taken out, that the doctor said didn't have to be taken out, and I made them, and it was nothing. We don't have ANY extra money right now and my husband thinks that having a test like that done, is enabling me. Not only a waste of time, but of money too. Because he knows I have this disorder.
comments?
comments?
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Guest
Hi Jen,
I'm sorry I misunderstood about the testing part. I really believe it's anxiety related but without you being checked out ( ct scan ) you will be telling yourself you have a brain tumor. This stress and obsessive worrying about getting all these illnesses is causing so many problems and not helping you in any way. I remember when my kids were young I worried about dying and who would raise my children if I wasn't there. I then heard on a tv show that worrying about getting an illness such as cancer can actually set you up to get it because the stress can cause certain types of cancer and other illnesses. I put an end to worrying and just went on to raise my kids and enjoy them each and every day. I have known 2 women...one a very dear friend of mine...who by way of stress got the worst type of breast cancer..the other also got hers from stress. This was told to both by Doctors so think about how much stress you are puting on your body and mind each and every time you allow yourself to think cancer, tumor, and any other illnesses you worry about. Stress weakens our immune system also.
I'm not trying to frighten you more than you are just stating facts in hope you will think about stopping what you are doing to yourself and of course your family. It filters down to everyone in your home. You have to find the courage within somehow...soon to stop it.
I really believe you will think about a brain tumor until it is proven you don't have one or you start saying over and over again...I am healthy, I am causing my symptoms with my thoughts. It's up to you Jen to do what will give you peace of mind.
We can only try to give support here and I try very hard to do just that because we all need it. We all have scary thoughts, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, depression and other illnesses that come from these conditions.
We are all working on becoming healthy, joyfull, life loving people and the ones who work hard will be that way.
Please talk to a doctor about your concerns, ask for a ct scan. Then toss asside that worry and work on becoming a healthy person for you and your children. YOU DESERVE THAT!!!!
All My Best To You,
<span class="ev_code_PINK">(((HUGS)))</span>
I'm sorry I misunderstood about the testing part. I really believe it's anxiety related but without you being checked out ( ct scan ) you will be telling yourself you have a brain tumor. This stress and obsessive worrying about getting all these illnesses is causing so many problems and not helping you in any way. I remember when my kids were young I worried about dying and who would raise my children if I wasn't there. I then heard on a tv show that worrying about getting an illness such as cancer can actually set you up to get it because the stress can cause certain types of cancer and other illnesses. I put an end to worrying and just went on to raise my kids and enjoy them each and every day. I have known 2 women...one a very dear friend of mine...who by way of stress got the worst type of breast cancer..the other also got hers from stress. This was told to both by Doctors so think about how much stress you are puting on your body and mind each and every time you allow yourself to think cancer, tumor, and any other illnesses you worry about. Stress weakens our immune system also.
I'm not trying to frighten you more than you are just stating facts in hope you will think about stopping what you are doing to yourself and of course your family. It filters down to everyone in your home. You have to find the courage within somehow...soon to stop it.
I really believe you will think about a brain tumor until it is proven you don't have one or you start saying over and over again...I am healthy, I am causing my symptoms with my thoughts. It's up to you Jen to do what will give you peace of mind.
We can only try to give support here and I try very hard to do just that because we all need it. We all have scary thoughts, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, depression and other illnesses that come from these conditions.
We are all working on becoming healthy, joyfull, life loving people and the ones who work hard will be that way.
Please talk to a doctor about your concerns, ask for a ct scan. Then toss asside that worry and work on becoming a healthy person for you and your children. YOU DESERVE THAT!!!!
All My Best To You,
<span class="ev_code_PINK">(((HUGS)))</span>
Our thoughts are so very, very amazing. They can make us ill or make us well!
I met a woman on Saturday who is living proof of this. She is a very positive woman with such a joyous outlook and wonderful attitude. We were at a fundraiser for cancer research and she shared with me that she IS a cancer survivor. She had STAGE 3 lymphoma!!! She believes her recovery is miraculous and admits that overall she was very healthy when she was diagnosed. What seemed to be the most healthy part of her - and she admitted it, was her attitude. She was so positive - unbelievably so. That was 5 years ago for her.
I found it to be an amazing story and something to give us ALL hope. Whether we are sick or are well, a positive attitude is so very beneficial to us. Write down those negative thoughts and CHANGE THEM IN WRITING TO POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!!!!
I hope this helps!
I met a woman on Saturday who is living proof of this. She is a very positive woman with such a joyous outlook and wonderful attitude. We were at a fundraiser for cancer research and she shared with me that she IS a cancer survivor. She had STAGE 3 lymphoma!!! She believes her recovery is miraculous and admits that overall she was very healthy when she was diagnosed. What seemed to be the most healthy part of her - and she admitted it, was her attitude. She was so positive - unbelievably so. That was 5 years ago for her.
I found it to be an amazing story and something to give us ALL hope. Whether we are sick or are well, a positive attitude is so very beneficial to us. Write down those negative thoughts and CHANGE THEM IN WRITING TO POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!!!!
I hope this helps!
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Guest
Hi Iknit
If I read about something - I think I have it - or I worry that someone I love will have it. I had to stop reading about stuff like that - I had to quit looking it up on the computer. This is going to sound really simplistic - but now when I feel like I might be ill with something I go for a walk. Sounds crazy but I get out and do something and the thoughts go away because they've been replaced by something else. Whenever I start to feel down or depressed I go for a walk.
We too are suffering financially and the payments will be a struggle - but I've decided that I can't afford not to do this program. As much as the payments cause me anxiety - the thought of continuing to live this way causes me way more anxiety.
I went to the library and borrowed some yoga tapes for those rainy fall days when it's not possible to go out.
I don't know if you can get out much with the kids - but try to divert your attention away from the thoughts causing you anxiety - to something else.
Hope this helps. Good luck and stay in touch.
If I read about something - I think I have it - or I worry that someone I love will have it. I had to stop reading about stuff like that - I had to quit looking it up on the computer. This is going to sound really simplistic - but now when I feel like I might be ill with something I go for a walk. Sounds crazy but I get out and do something and the thoughts go away because they've been replaced by something else. Whenever I start to feel down or depressed I go for a walk.
We too are suffering financially and the payments will be a struggle - but I've decided that I can't afford not to do this program. As much as the payments cause me anxiety - the thought of continuing to live this way causes me way more anxiety.
I went to the library and borrowed some yoga tapes for those rainy fall days when it's not possible to go out.
I don't know if you can get out much with the kids - but try to divert your attention away from the thoughts causing you anxiety - to something else.
Hope this helps. Good luck and stay in touch.
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Guest
Wow, you poor thing. I know the feeling of rock bottom. You wonder is it really worth it. Sometimes if we just take the smallest of step it will lead to great strides. Take care! Enjoy the next moment and don't worry about the next one coming, just breath and have hope. I am new to this chat posting.
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Guest
I know how you feel. I have stopped doing many things like riding our motorcylce and flying because of the fear of leaving my daughter (3) before she is able to take care of herself. It is a valid concern to an extent. However, this "what if" thinking is part of the internal stress that becomes us if we let our external stress get too far out of wack. If you dont have the program you may not know what im talking about. Internal stress is what happens when we let our thoughts get out of control. External stress includes such things as jobs, money, health problems, and anything else that is a valid concern. At least this is how I understood it. If you have valid reasons to think you may have a serious health problem, get checked out. You should work on the "what if" thinking, though. That has gotten most of us where we are today!
To keep your mind busy, maybe you could volunteer in your kids' classrooms or try new recipes for your family to try! I dont know, im certainly not perfect at this or I wouldnt be on here haha! It is only my second week but I am learning a lot. Keep us posted on how youre doing and what you decide. Good luck and God bless!
To keep your mind busy, maybe you could volunteer in your kids' classrooms or try new recipes for your family to try! I dont know, im certainly not perfect at this or I wouldnt be on here haha! It is only my second week but I am learning a lot. Keep us posted on how youre doing and what you decide. Good luck and God bless!