depression over my ex.help!
Heres the thing. I live with my boyfriend and he is a good guy. Very sweet but it is hard for him to show his emotions and i don't feel like we'd be friends if we were not together. . Also, my ex and I broke up a year ago and I am having all these feeling for him again! Its so depressing because i am sure he has moved on and he also moved far away and i have never been this depressed on my life. I honestly feel like i lost someone. like i am grieving for him. I am so depressed i cant get out of bed and have been getting headaches and i feel SO weak today and had like 10 dreams of my ex last night that he wanted me back. . and than waking up i felt terrible. I don't know how to get out of this cycle. its scaring me and than of course i do the what if's like what if i will never get over him or i will always feel the way i am feeling now and what if i hurt myself (which is not me and don't want to do but i think of that and it scares me and makes me more depressed) how do i get out of this scary depression? is it ok to be THIS depressed?? I have a BF too so i of course feel guilty but i also feel we don't connect like the way me and my ex did. how do i cope with this? how do i get out of this depression and live my life? I dont want to be this way. My mind and body feel so weak. i need some good positive advice. . thank you.
"Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)"
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Guest
holly sometimes when you break up you realize there is no one the same as the other but also it is habit more than anything use to being with that person all you have to realize is he moved away your in the present not the past and believe me i say this to myself alot of times cause there are times i do the same thing but realize it is never the same to go back in that situation i did and now i am with a very caring guy
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Guest
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Guest
Hi Holly,
As a woman in my early 50's I can say from years of experience: been there done that too many times. I have learned about so many reasons I did those things, and they had nothing to do with love. For me, it has mostly to do with what session three and four are all about. Of course, I am only on session four, so some future sessions will probably also apply. If you don't mind advice from someone who is not in your generation, I think you might try going entirely through the program before you make any big changes in your current relationship; then do the program again if all these feelings keep tormenting you. Often flashbacks to old flames have more to do with your own tampered memories. You tampered with the memories, you edited out all the reasons you broke up in the first place, you edited out all the reasons you tried to move on. I also ask the same question Lance is asking. Did you move into another relationship too fast? Don't know if anything here helps you, but I want you to know so many of us have been there, done that. The art of love is learning first to love yourself.
As a woman in my early 50's I can say from years of experience: been there done that too many times. I have learned about so many reasons I did those things, and they had nothing to do with love. For me, it has mostly to do with what session three and four are all about. Of course, I am only on session four, so some future sessions will probably also apply. If you don't mind advice from someone who is not in your generation, I think you might try going entirely through the program before you make any big changes in your current relationship; then do the program again if all these feelings keep tormenting you. Often flashbacks to old flames have more to do with your own tampered memories. You tampered with the memories, you edited out all the reasons you broke up in the first place, you edited out all the reasons you tried to move on. I also ask the same question Lance is asking. Did you move into another relationship too fast? Don't know if anything here helps you, but I want you to know so many of us have been there, done that. The art of love is learning first to love yourself.
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Guest
very quickly i me my current boyfriend. this is because i am afraid to be alone. I feel like i need a boyfriend. I dont like being single. I know i have to learn to be happy with myself in order to be happy with someone else.. . but this is so hard for me. And pecos what do you mean by tampered memories? Like I am not really thinking in the right frame of mind and only of the good of my old relationship? I know i moved on too fast because i needed to distract myself form. . well... myself. Believe me I feel pathetic about my whole situation. But this depression scares me. I dont know how to cope with it. I know how to cope with anxiety but not with depression and this is why it freaks me out so badly. I physically ill too. I feel like I cant breath and get headaches and feel very very weak. How do i overcome this?! I see a therapist once a week and when i see him I feel better but I feel like i need to see him more than once a week for my problems.
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Guest
Holly J - I am not the person to be trying to figure out the answer to your question, but I would like to offer advice from my own situations in the past. I think, at times, we cling to things in the past because it was before we started having the problems we currently deal with. I guess in our mind, we think we were better then, so our situation must have been better. In my case, it is not about my wife at all, she has been the rock that has kept me going, but other decisions (work,ect.) often will be second guessed. I really think you need to hang in there and not make any big decisions in this state of mind. Remember, you are the one person that should be happy, then your life can be happy. I also know that I have never been the type of person who wanted to be alone, but you have to evaluate if the situation is healthy for you or not. Past wonders can really cloud current times. Hang in there, and you will gather strength and confidence. Remember, the depression will go away, and when it does, the physical aspects will improve.
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holly,
if we had all the answers we would not need to program. i know the feeling that you have and have been through the same thing.i thught that as one gets older we would not go through th same thing again.i know how dreams can effect a situation and it can either hinder you or help you.mywife told me the other day that all she wanted was someone to love her.she always thought that it was sex that was the answer and she was looking for the wrong thing.i look back atmy previous marriage and am thankful that it is over.i do not know what your previous marriage was like but if you went back would it be different.that you have to ask yourself.when 2 people are married yo take a vow and what God has joined together let no man put asunder.donot be depressed about life but learn to live life and be happy and content.i hope what i wrote has helped. maybe if you read my profil it would give you a better idea what i went through.take care and be blessed.
don
if we had all the answers we would not need to program. i know the feeling that you have and have been through the same thing.i thught that as one gets older we would not go through th same thing again.i know how dreams can effect a situation and it can either hinder you or help you.mywife told me the other day that all she wanted was someone to love her.she always thought that it was sex that was the answer and she was looking for the wrong thing.i look back atmy previous marriage and am thankful that it is over.i do not know what your previous marriage was like but if you went back would it be different.that you have to ask yourself.when 2 people are married yo take a vow and what God has joined together let no man put asunder.donot be depressed about life but learn to live life and be happy and content.i hope what i wrote has helped. maybe if you read my profil it would give you a better idea what i went through.take care and be blessed.
don
"I think, at times, we cling to things in the past because it was before we started having the problems we currently deal with. I guess in our mind, we think we were better then, so our situation must have been better.
Probably very true Nelson. Youre post opened my eyes a little. And thank you for assuring me that my depression will go away. I hate all these physical symptoms it comes with. I was getting the worst heart palpitations last night and i have a headache constantly. And D, Thank you for your post. I read your profile. What a story. . I am glad you're doing better now. I am so sick of feeling this way. It is really putting a toll on my body. Thank you everyone or your posts. it really means a lot to me. reading them helps!
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!
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Guest
Hi Holly, I am so glad you are beginning to see some light beyond the stormy place you are in right now. Loneliness is a big one for most of us. Besides the big emptiness in our lives, we have all the physical symptoms and they are just awful. These symptoms will pass, and the terrifying fear of being all alone will eventually be something you can sit with comfortably, because the fear will also go away. I came into this program with depression which measured 41 on an evaluation where anything over 25 meant I was in serious trouble. That was four weeks ago. I work this program everyday, and I do the homework, and I get enormous support from the people here. These storms will pass, and you will be okay one day soon.
