Hi everyone, it's Joy again. I was wondering if anyone has more trouble coping at the weekends with depression/loneliness, etc. I am retired so really every day is the same for me but still I find the weekends more difficult and am always glad when it is Monday again! I think it's perhaps because I feel more out of routine than ever on Saturdays and Sundays and also imagine that everyone is away at cottages, etc. and I am more alone than ever - oh, poor me! I will feel better tomorrow morning when I know people are going back to work again! And I do often find I seem to have more things to do during the week. It is now about 3:30 p.m. on Sunday afternoon and I feel very tempted to take a nap (just to pass the time really) but now I am having nightmares/dreams every time I try to sleep so at least that is putting me off going to bed during the day. I must try to get out and go for a walk. Last night was horrible, I went to bed around midnight and woke up at 3 a.m. with my heart just pounding and in a really frightened state. I didn't have time to remember the nightmare, I was too scared, just got out of bed and tried to calm myself down. I think the program helped me to do that actually. I stayed up for two hours until I felt calmer, took a clonazepam, and went back to bed. I know I was dreaming all the time but nothing so scary as the first time. I woke up at about 7 a.m., went back to bed until about 9:30 a.m. But I don't feel rested, suppose the quality of sleep is so bad. I listen to the relaxation cd a lot and leave it on when I get into bed. It may help a bit. I am seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow so am looking forward to telling him about all this. Anyone else with these kinds of problems? Would love to hear from you.
Joy P.S. Does anyone find they get very irritable at times? Often towards the people who are actually the nicest to us? I do and it makes me feel somewhat guilty, I know it isn't fair to be like this.
weekends especially long weekends
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Guest
Sorry to hear the nightmares are still there. Maybe the doctor tomorrow will be of some help in figuring this out. I get restless sometimes on Sundays but try to plan ahead for something to do on this day. Sometimes I have just listened to all the cds from the program in a row and it has helped. Weekends do seem to be different for some reason even if you're not working and it does seem that there are more things to take care of during the week. Too much quiet time maybe?? I've just accepted that my Sundays will be quieter and if I don't go on a hike I spend the day in the garden reading and reflecting with Ms Kitty my cat.
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Guest
Hi Joy, I have trouble sleeping too. I'm very restless and have problems going to sleep and staying asleep. I also feel very irratible alot! Unfortunately it's usually impatience and irritability with my step children. It's part of what motivated me to try this program. Hang in there. Maybe you could take a step and try calling one of the people you used to enjoy talking to? I have a friend that even when I feel horrible and don't even want to talk to anyone, she's there and understands. If I go too long without calling her, she calls me and vice versa. I also have two dogs that have been with me for at least 9 years. They are loving enough to always give me a head to opat and a back to scratch no matter what time of day or night. They help me feel good. Good Luck. I hope your appt tomorrow helps.
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Guest
Joy,
I have the same problems with weekends. Too much free time isn't helpful to me as I start thinking about not having things to do and it makes me feel anxious to not be busy. Today, I had a few unexpected things come my way to do, but still felt anxious and then thought how silly this is! I did sign up to do some caregiving for the elderly, something I always have liked to do. Maybe you could find some volunteer work that helps you focus on others.
kc
I have the same problems with weekends. Too much free time isn't helpful to me as I start thinking about not having things to do and it makes me feel anxious to not be busy. Today, I had a few unexpected things come my way to do, but still felt anxious and then thought how silly this is! I did sign up to do some caregiving for the elderly, something I always have liked to do. Maybe you could find some volunteer work that helps you focus on others.
kc
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Guest
Ahhh, yes free time! Sometimes it can feel like eternity. I understand how you feel, especially if you don't have may friends like me. It is difficult to have things to do with not may invitations. I have found going to centers that offer holistic expos are distracting and can be enjoyable. Maybe there is one in your city? They can be a little weird, but for the most part, distracting and interesting. Alot about meta physics, holistics, healing.... In houston, tx it's called Centerpoint. Maybe you can call and ask if they know of one in your city? The number is 713-932-7224 and the website is <A HREF="http://www.centerpointhouston.com" TARGET=_blank>www.centerpointhouston.com</A> Also, how about Leisure Learning? Try that. I also see a therapist, it helps to have someone listen and cry to if you need it. I have found crying to be very healing. Everytime I start to cry even about the smallest thing, they tell me don't stop it, keep it coming, let it out, it's healing. So, I do and I do feel better after. Louise Hayes has a wonderful cd with positive affirmations! I listen to it everyday. It really helps. I keep it in a portable cd player along with my Lucinda relaxation tape. Yes, it is very easy to irritable to the person you love the most because it is a way to vent your anger, sadness, frustration. I just always say, "I'm sorry if I seem irritable it has nothing to do with you, so if I am mean forgive me it's because I'm having anxiety, or I'm angry because I'm healing at a slower pace than expected." My therapist came up with a great way to relieve anger for me. You get a children's plastic baseball bat and you hit the mattress and scream and cry and get all your emotions, feelings and anything you want to say out. You have to do this out loud, but it really helps. The first time I did it, I hit it for 45 minutes! I was exhausted after. Not saying to do it, but it helps me. They tell me don't stop until I have nothing left to say. It is truly amazing what comes to the surface. Things you didn't even realize you were angry about. Good luck and god bless! 
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Guest
Hi Joy, I too am so sorry about your bad dreams. I tend to agree with Mary, I suspect your prescription meds. As for weekends, I have decided not to worry too much. All my friends live a good distance away. I do see them during the month. I am 51, and am younger than all my friends -- who still work full time. I put all my life on hold 2.5 years ago to care for a dying father and spend more time with my mother. Now they are both gone. I don't want to go back to doing ANYTHING that I used to do. Friends and relatives have bugged me (until I don't want to hear from them) telling me I am isolated and lonely. I really like Mary's reply on a previous post about that! I am okay with who I am, what I do, and where I live (a very isolated location). Yes, weekends can be a disaster. I could stay busy all the time, I don't. Since beginning this program I recognize my depression comes first. I will attend to what is broken, find the tools to repair myself, and not pay attention to myself telling me I am lonely. It becomes a negative self talk. I don't want to be evaluative and suggest you aren't lonely. We all feel lonely, or we wouldn't be replying to you. However, I have discovered most of my thoughts of being alone and lonely are OTHER people's ideas of how I feel. I can fix a fence, paint a porch, read a book, watch a movie, write letters to all my friends who think I am too lonely, watch a good show, listen to previous CD's from this program, make notes for a new book, drive to the town nearby and have lunch, visit a gallery, or just sit on the hillside and meditate. Since being on this program I am learning to see my alone time differently. I am owning it more as my present moment, not isolation. It is this moment of my life, the only one I have. One day when I am all better I may get back into a busier schedule. Right now, I set my gears on idle. It is where I need to be to heal. I hope this helps you think of this time differently, too.
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For anyone stuggling through these issues, there's been such an encouraging discussion on "God's Answers For Anxiety, Depression & Obsessive Thoughts", it's on most Christian radio stations, and <A HREF="http://www.pointofview.net/site/PageServer" TARGET=_blank>http://www.pointofview.net/site/PageServer</A> is the link to their web site & you can listen online even if you missed today's broadcast, it was simply wonderful!!!!
Blessings,
Fairlight
PS Joy, do you have a dog or cat? I have a wonderful little dog, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, "Agatha", she makes me laugh everyday, lies at my feet and jumps in my lap if given the chance. She's such a comfort, do get a pet if you don't have one, dogs are great, they have to have someone to love, sometimes my cat is a bit self-sufficient!
Blessings,
Fairlight
PS Joy, do you have a dog or cat? I have a wonderful little dog, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, "Agatha", she makes me laugh everyday, lies at my feet and jumps in my lap if given the chance. She's such a comfort, do get a pet if you don't have one, dogs are great, they have to have someone to love, sometimes my cat is a bit self-sufficient!