Today is my sister's b-day so she came over my house and we hung out, layed by the pool, and watched movies. It was a nice day. I felt sad after she left. My parents are taking her out to dinner at a nice restaurant downtown tonight and I won't go because being downtown panics me. I feel sad that I am not there. My parents are having a barbecue on Sunday and I want to go but I have been having trouble going out of my comfort zome. A few months ago my parents house was fine but now I'm having trouble. They live about 25min away.
I feel down about it because I fear Sunday will come and I will be too afraid to try and go and I won't see my family again. I just want to be able to enjoy my time and I know I am the one that controls that feeling but still fear I will begin to drive there, freak out, and have to turn around and miss out on a good family day. It's making me feel like crap.
Feeling a bit down
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Guest
Hello!I can so relate!I was housebound less than a year ago.My advice to you is please go.You can't let these feelings take over.If you do there will be one more thing you think you can't do,then another.Before you know it you're world will get very small.I know how you feel.I know that it is very uncomfortable to feel the fear and do it anyway.You really do have to though.I'm not housebound anymore!I'm still working on getting over my agoraphobia but I'm making good progress.I love Joyce Meyer and she's coming to Indianapolis this month.There will probably be thousands of people there.If I don't go I'll feel awful about it.I'm going to make an effort to go and get through it.It gives me anxiety just thinking about it!But one thing I do know is don't feed the fear!Do it afraid!I'll pray for you!You'll be fine and It will make you feel better then if you don't go.I know that feeling all to well too.God bless you!
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Guest
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Guest
Hi GI822,
Fear Not has a great point about not feeding the fear. Joyce Meyer talks about this. Talking about any negative behavior, she says "You know how to kill anything? Don't feed it!" I love that. We don't have to "do" anything terribly complicated. We just have to "not do" what causes the negative behavior to be reinforced. At first it is always difficult. Our "flesh" has screaming fits. But as the negative behavior gets weaker and weaker from not being "fed", we get positively stronger and stronger! Amen:)
I hope you do go and that you have a wonderful time! Let us know:)
Darb
Fear Not has a great point about not feeding the fear. Joyce Meyer talks about this. Talking about any negative behavior, she says "You know how to kill anything? Don't feed it!" I love that. We don't have to "do" anything terribly complicated. We just have to "not do" what causes the negative behavior to be reinforced. At first it is always difficult. Our "flesh" has screaming fits. But as the negative behavior gets weaker and weaker from not being "fed", we get positively stronger and stronger! Amen:)
I hope you do go and that you have a wonderful time! Let us know:)
Darb
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Guest
GI822
I know how you are feeling as well. And your world will get smaller and smaller as you already know because before you didn't have a problem getting there. But here is something to remember...if you can't make it there, it is okay!! Don't beat yourself up. You will get over this with practice, so if you miss this time, there will be more. It is okay. You won't be this way forever.
Here are some tips:
How about trying to drive there every evening until then. Make this one of your practices. Make your first goal going 5 or 10 minutes (whatever you are comfortable with) and then turn around and drive back. Just drive this route over and over again. Go a little further and keep doing that over and over again. Drive as much and make as many trips as you can each evening. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TURN BACK IF YOU HAVE TO. Say, if my anxiety hits a 7/8 or whatever you want, is when I will turn back. All the while have your relaxation CD in the car and one of the sessions you are working on. As you are driving, every fear that pops in your head, counter it out loud. Another thing to do is the relaxation CD BEFORE you leave. Continue counting your breaths as you walk out the front door and get in the car. Try to count your breaths the WHOLE time you are driving if you can. If you get distracted just go back to it. If you constantly monitor your breathing, then it will be very difficult for your body to have the extreme physical symptoms. And if you don't make it there for her Bday, then you don't have to beat yourself up about it because you are doing what you can to make it happen! If you don't make it there, be proud of yourself that you are practicing so that you can make it the next time. And let that be that!! If you happen to be sitting at home and aren't there, reward yourself. Have a little piece of cake, call her on the phone and tell her you are celebrating with her! Then tell her all the work you did this week and you are looking forward to celebrating with her next time! (Because by then you will be able to drive there whenever you want girl!)
I know how you are feeling as well. And your world will get smaller and smaller as you already know because before you didn't have a problem getting there. But here is something to remember...if you can't make it there, it is okay!! Don't beat yourself up. You will get over this with practice, so if you miss this time, there will be more. It is okay. You won't be this way forever.
Here are some tips:
How about trying to drive there every evening until then. Make this one of your practices. Make your first goal going 5 or 10 minutes (whatever you are comfortable with) and then turn around and drive back. Just drive this route over and over again. Go a little further and keep doing that over and over again. Drive as much and make as many trips as you can each evening. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TURN BACK IF YOU HAVE TO. Say, if my anxiety hits a 7/8 or whatever you want, is when I will turn back. All the while have your relaxation CD in the car and one of the sessions you are working on. As you are driving, every fear that pops in your head, counter it out loud. Another thing to do is the relaxation CD BEFORE you leave. Continue counting your breaths as you walk out the front door and get in the car. Try to count your breaths the WHOLE time you are driving if you can. If you get distracted just go back to it. If you constantly monitor your breathing, then it will be very difficult for your body to have the extreme physical symptoms. And if you don't make it there for her Bday, then you don't have to beat yourself up about it because you are doing what you can to make it happen! If you don't make it there, be proud of yourself that you are practicing so that you can make it the next time. And let that be that!! If you happen to be sitting at home and aren't there, reward yourself. Have a little piece of cake, call her on the phone and tell her you are celebrating with her! Then tell her all the work you did this week and you are looking forward to celebrating with her next time! (Because by then you will be able to drive there whenever you want girl!)
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Guest
What is it about down town that panics you? Is it the people, the level of noise, or you are not exactly sure what it is, but you just feel panicky?
The best thing you can do to help yourself is to go. Get a ride there from your parents instead of driving yourself there to make things easier on yourself. Because by not going you are only reinforcing your fears and making them grow stronger, which is totally the opposite of what you are trying to do, which is free yourself from this anxiety condition. Also try your best to not anticipate so much and just accept the way you feel. Listen to the lesson on "Self Talk - The Key to Healthy Self Esteem" especially during the first 1 minute when Lucinda says:
"Most of your negative thoughts are not even true. The positive thoughts, the empowering thoughts, the comforting thoughts, does are the true ones."
I found just hearing Lucinda say does 'words' bought me a great deal of comfort.
I know this is not an easy thing for you to do, especially feeling the way you do, I have been there myself, but I still went and did what I had to do despite the over whelming feelings of anxiety and body symptoms I was feeling. With continuous practice and refusing to give in, I have managed to rid myself of the feelings of anxiety almost completely, but I still have my odd days when I get some really strong body symptoms, which does make me feel a little stressed and frustrated. I can almost hear myself saying "here we go again," but it does not make me anxious. Again I pay these symptoms no attention and with time they pass.
Also possibly go for a 30 minute brisk walk, to release 'endorphines' to increase your sense of wellbeing, and decrease excessive bodily adrenaline, as suppose to 'going for a drive' in your car.
Best of luck and all the best.
Errol
The best thing you can do to help yourself is to go. Get a ride there from your parents instead of driving yourself there to make things easier on yourself. Because by not going you are only reinforcing your fears and making them grow stronger, which is totally the opposite of what you are trying to do, which is free yourself from this anxiety condition. Also try your best to not anticipate so much and just accept the way you feel. Listen to the lesson on "Self Talk - The Key to Healthy Self Esteem" especially during the first 1 minute when Lucinda says:
"Most of your negative thoughts are not even true. The positive thoughts, the empowering thoughts, the comforting thoughts, does are the true ones."
I found just hearing Lucinda say does 'words' bought me a great deal of comfort.
I know this is not an easy thing for you to do, especially feeling the way you do, I have been there myself, but I still went and did what I had to do despite the over whelming feelings of anxiety and body symptoms I was feeling. With continuous practice and refusing to give in, I have managed to rid myself of the feelings of anxiety almost completely, but I still have my odd days when I get some really strong body symptoms, which does make me feel a little stressed and frustrated. I can almost hear myself saying "here we go again," but it does not make me anxious. Again I pay these symptoms no attention and with time they pass.
Also possibly go for a 30 minute brisk walk, to release 'endorphines' to increase your sense of wellbeing, and decrease excessive bodily adrenaline, as suppose to 'going for a drive' in your car.
Best of luck and all the best.
Errol
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Guest
