I'm new to this and in need of help for depression

jerry438 · Post by **jerry438** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:14 am

I'm 58 years old and have had depression as long as I can remember. I have had proffesional help but I am shy and have trouble expressing my true feeling, so nothing has worked. I have just been through the program and have picked up on a few thing that has helped, but depression is very hard to beat. I do not have any friends and don't know how to go about making friends, it seems like everytime I try no one meets you have way I end up doing all of the work. I can put a face on and do anything I need to do but the enjoyment is not there. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to live with this depression. I am lonley and would love to have friends and do things with. Any suggestion you may have I would appreciate it, I would like to be able to enjoy life I do not know what that feels like, but I know it is there I see others doing it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:05 am

Welcome Jerry,

I'm Barb and I'm new after leaving in 2007.Recently I've been struggling with anxiety again so I came back to get and give help. I haven't found my CD's yet but will soon I hope.

Most of us on this site know what depression is. I'm 59 and I've struggled most of my life also. Are you on any meds? It's too bad you've tried to have friends and it hasn't worked for you. Here will be a good start plus doing the program then I think you'll find going out into the real world will be easier.Keep reading the forums and posting your questions and comments. I'll check back for your reply.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:54 am

oh man jerry i do know what that is like. i don't know anything other than this program so i would always refer back to that. the depression lingered longer than the anxiety but before long i was living for what seemed like the first time. like a kid in the candy shop.I'm going back to school to get ged then off to tech school.been traveling a bit getting married in June. sometimes i get to share with others how i got better.try the chat room i think you will like that.i was scared to do that at first then i realized these were the people who invented being shy. which by the way is an old word for anxiety and you can get over it with your program.now i can choose not to be around mean crabby people and the rest are friends. good luck jerry it gets easier and fun

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 2:04 am

Thank you so much for your words of encouragment and for clarifing the old word of shy. I was conveniced i did not have anxiety but after hearing this from you I was wrong. I was on Meds for a while got off could not see where it was helping. My out look is to always keep trying and hopeing that one time it will work. You get to the point that once you feel like you have tried everything what do you do? I have found out that depression is not something that you can defeat by yourself, it is the toughest thing I have ever been up against. I quit smoking 14 years ago and it was not this hard.

Thanks again

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 2:08 am

Thanks for helping Barb, I was on meds on and off for about a year and found that they were not doing much good so I am no longer on them. I just don't know what to do next i am so confused, I keep trying to meet people and make friends because deep down I know that is where the beginnig will start its hard to fight this alone. But I will continue one day it will change.

Thanks for your help

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:17 am

Good morning Jerry,

You didn't say if you have the program. If you think you can get by without meds OK but if you're still having lots of anx/dep you may need something. Have you heard of Joyce Meyer? I highly recommend her books and CD's. You can get them most anywhere. She has almost every topic you can think of. I was reading in her book yesterday and was surprised to read "sometimes we have to quit praying for a while" because in my case I was praying so much about certain things and troubles of friends that I was creating more anxiety when I prayed. God heard me the first time.

Joyce also said in the book I picked up last night how important it is to laugh. Rent funny movies, go do something fun where you'll laugh. A friend just called me and I told her to be thinking of what would make us laugh so hopefully we'll get together on Thurs. I'm counting on sharing my laughs with you. Guess it would be good for both of us to go on the humor section too. You know when I first came on here and went to the chat room I was frustrated thinking they're just talking about stupid stuff what's the point of that. However, it's good to just be silly sometimes to get your mnd off the anxiety. Try it. It's a good way to make friends. It's not that you can't talk about your problem on there, you can and also there's a help chat where you can get help when you need to talk without so many others on there. Things will turn around Jerry. You gotta do your part and others will be there to help.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 7:21 am

Hello Jerry
I just had a thought that maybe you could meet some neat people at your local library? Often times they have Book Clubs and read thru the classics? Or maybe you could start one? Also maybe join an adult singles group or bowling leage to meet some new people?
The chat is a fun place and yes we are silly sometimes but we are all pretty good buds now and it is a nice place to brainstorm.Or just chat to fight lonliness or to get feedback on how you are doing on the program.
Take care and keep on keeping on

Jill~

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:46 am

Hi Jill,

Thanks for your help. I have thought about going to a singles group and never did it. I know I should but dont have a reason for why I didn't do it. I will I have to start somewhere. I have another problem that is embrassing to say but when I look in the mirror I don't like what I see, I see age, and disapperaring looks, I know this is part of life and everyones goes through it but it affects me and that keeps me from doing and going and doing things. The Ironic part is I is people give me compliments on how attractive i am and how I do not look my age ( 58 ). I just don;t beleive them because of what I see in the mirror. Is this nuts?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:06 am

Hi Jerry...my name Shalene. WOW! Did this hit home. I'm new to this too, just starting session 3. I'm 52 years old, and haven't felt good enough for "the world" since I was 95 lbs in high school! Ya...I'm a fat 125 lbs now lol! How did we get this way?? I look in the mirror & see old too & I don't believe it either "in my heart" when someone tells me I don't look that old...in fact I'm told I'm beautiful..."if only I could feel it"! Negative thinking...being my own worst critic...gosh I am so tough on me! I look at the people who are confident no matter what their weight...there looks..etc, and I envy them, and admire them all at the same time. I am so thankful for this site...& praying it will help us all. I sooo want to live life! I've spent my life building other people up. I just want to be able to give myself the same break! I've been in the chat on here...the people a great...it's hard & I never stay in the chat room long, but I always come away feeling better! Jerry I believe you'll have lot's of friends here. What do you say we go to the mirror & say we love being who we are...and today is a new day...let's let life begin now. I'd love to be your friend...we all need reinforcements. Jerry have a great day!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:45 am

Shalene,

I would kill to be 125 lbs. That's mostly the reason I have severe depression. I'm older than you and have lived alone for 5 years after 29 years of marriage. It seems like I just work all the time at a job I hate, which I will probably lose soon and I really don't care. Not sure I know what you can do to help, I guess I'm new here and looking for anyone to respond.

FanCface