Third day in bed.

JILLIAN44 · Post by **JILLIAN44** » Mon May 18, 2009 12:36 pm

This is the third day in bed and I am tired of myself. So I got up and made myself go to my sisters and water while she is away. I'm making myself make dinner. I can't go through life like this. I am a fighter. My father wouldn't want me to do this to myself. I have to start forcing myself to do things. I can't depend on anyone but, myself. My husband is not supportive. I love him but, part of me thinks I would be better if I left. I have to keep praying to give me strength. I will fight to be that person I once was.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 18, 2009 2:01 pm

Dear Jillian,
I am sooo sorry that you are feeling this way...
Sometimes, we just have to make ourselves do things to get us motivated.

No... your father would not want you grieving like this. He would want you to go on with your life and be happy. I am sure it would sadden him so, to see you living your life like this!!!

I, honestly, don't know what to say to you, except, I am sooo sorry for your losses, and everything else that is going on in your life!!!

Life can be sooo difficult. Things happen which we cannot understand. Life is not fair, and we all know that...

I am sure that a brighter day is just around the corner...Hang in there!!!! God Bless

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 18, 2009 2:04 pm

Jillian...Have you have tried reaching out to your hubby? Just giving him a big hug, and telling him you love him...Sometimes, we have to be the first to reach out!!! Then, explain to him how much you need him to be there for you!!!

If you have already tried this, then, I really don't know anything else you can do!!!

Seems like to me, you have tried it all, and nothing has worked!!!

I pray you try this one, if you haven't already...God Bless

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue May 19, 2009 11:44 pm

Jillian44, I went through a simallar situaion when my sister died of cancer and was only 36. My marrige was almost over at the time and had I used what my minister and counsler had told me I would probably still be married. I was told that when ever I wrote anything about my situation or spoke of it, I had to count the I's and the me's. I was to count the we's and us's also. If the I's and me's were more, and they were by a huge margin, I was spending to much time dwelling on only my half of the problem. I am not sure how long you have been married but your hubby had to have felt some loss over your parents passing away, if he isn't there he probably has shut it all inside like the rest of us male's do. Their advice to me was to try and do eveything in my power to make my wife feel like a queen. Write down everything I loved about my sister so even though whe wasn't there, I would make certian she was never forgotten. Then write down what the goals my wife and I had when we first got married. Then try to get back on track. Looking back now I realize I was dwelling on me. I needed to get my focus off me so I could recover. I am by no means a counceler and cannot tell you what to do. I do know that God won't give you more than you can handle. I found out that when I thought I was at the end of my rope, once my eyes were off myself, I could see I wasn't even half way to the end. I will keep you in my prayers and hope the sun wakes you with a smile.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 20, 2009 12:29 am

Jillian...Don really has given you some excellent advice, here. I definitely would try this one!!!

After all, your marriage is about the two of you, not about just you...

I am sure there is not a selfish bone in your body, so, I would try counting the I's and me's in the marriage, and see if they outweigh the us's and we's...

I wish that I could have been of more help to you, but, I really believe you have to make this decision on your own...

I definitely would pray on this one, and ask the Lord to help me, and ask Him to bless my marriage!!!

I pray you have a great day...God Bless

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 27, 2009 4:32 am

jillian,
i red a few of your posts. I just wanted to say hello and to let you know im sorry to hear about your parents passing. I lost my cousing in november to brain cancer. It was very sudden. I was in a bad marrage for 16 years. I had to let go of my marrage. I started using alchole to get threw things. Right now you might want to cut yourself some slack especially if your parents deaths were recent. Grieving takes time. You have been through a lot from what it sounds like. I was wondering if you have found any good books on grieving or if you have talked with a professional about your losses. One of the things i was told was to get up everyday, shower, and do small things like what your doing. Know that you have my deepest sympothy, I will keep you in my prayers.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 27, 2009 6:10 am

Hello Jillian. I hope you feel better. You've done some good things by just getting out the house. Just take it one minute at a time. Don't think too far ahead. Praise yourself for the little things. I too am in a bad marriage (separated, but still seeing each other). Right now I know this isn't a good relationship for me, but right now my focus is getting better. Then I can deal with everything else. I went to my sister too the other day. It's amazing how just being with people who do love you makes you feel better. Even though we really didn't do anything in particular, just being with my sister lifted my blues. Go around as many people that do love you as you can. Also, what has helped me is finding my favorite comedian on YOU TUBE to make me laugh. For me it's Chris Rock. I laughed so hard I was crying. I needed that.Just type their name in the search bar on the main menu. Laughter really is the best medicine.You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that you are not alone. Much love.